May 30, 2007

Resources & a lack thereof

There are no women in my immediate life who have experienced a miscarriage. Most everyone knows someone else, but no one has come to me and said, "yes, it happened to me x number of years ago - I know how you feel." While I have Travis, it's not the same as another woman and I have felt alone in much of this, especially in the lack of validation from someone who knows what I'm feeling.

If there is a lesson to be learned in this, I believe it's that something needs to be done to help the mothers, fathers, families and friends who suffer a miscarriage. As it is, it's just not good enough.

Here are a few links which have proved helpful to me in this last month:

A person's a person, no matter how small - this might be cheesy to you, but I've always loved this and it felt safe.
Share - this contains a link to the Angel of Hope, which has a special connection with my family
One woman's story
Radical Catholic Mom - I actually found this blog while trying to find resources online. She was further along in her pregnancy, but we miscarried about the same time - early May. Her posts were comforting - she too is exhausted, grieving, faithful and living everyday life.

But in the end, no pamphlet or website is quite good enough. Maybe it's not realistic, but I envision a network of women in an area who have miscarried. Then my doctor could have added, "Here, take this. I encourage you to call this number or email this address. It will put you in touch with women who know how you feel." Or maybe a way of doing things at our churches so that when I miscarried I would have known who to reach out to.
I have an intense desire for a Mass with family and friends. Maybe that will help me feel like something was done.
I don't know. What do you think?


  1. Hi..I am not sure how your info got on my computer, I think that someone who uses my computer must know you, however, I wanted to share my info with you regarding your miscarriage. I myself have suffered two, one in which I was over the 12 wk mark. If there is anything that I can do, please feel free to let me know. I would love to share my stories with you and try to help you any way possible.

  2. That would be wonderful and deeply appreciated - to have you share with me.
    You can contact me at bonniefandel at gmail dot com.
    Thank you very much.

  3. Hi Bonnie..I have emailed you a short story (:, regarding some of my miscarriage info- So if you recieve an email from a random yahoo address it is me.
    Hope it helps!!