This is a good one:
I am a guest of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's as they join the Church and have their marriage blessed. The ceremony is in a small grey stone church in Tibet (there's mountains and besides, I just know it's Tibet, even though it looks more like Rome and all the locals look like Europeans). Brad looks like Brad but Angelina isn't really herself - she looks quite plain with smaller lips and a bigger nose.
It is not a normal Catholic Mass. In fact, it is a Tibetan service and some of the things make orthodox me uneasy. However, many of the brothers from the Community of St. John are there and none of them are saying anything. In fact, I am sitting right next to Fr. Joseph Mary and he looks pleased so I don't say anything.
Then, during the service a bunch more guests arrive (their plane just got in) including most of my mom's side of the family and a few people I went to high school with (Natalie W. and Tim M.). They crawl over everyone in the pews to get seats.
When the ceremony is over we all leave and suddenly I'm hanging out with two of my cousins. One of them, the incredibly slight Megan, tells me she is pregnant and though I am happy for her I begin to cry. I tell her through my sobs, "You'll just get a basketball belly and I'll be so FAT."
Ladies, Lords, and Gentlemen: Thank you for participating in the 4th Occasional Sheenazing Awards! We are here to acknowledge and celebr...
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