Here's the update:
Things are a lot better.
L seems to be over her colicky phase (thank God!). I'm not sure if she ever was colick or if we were just clueless, but maybe it was a bit of both. We have begun to feed her right away at the first sign of fussiness and before we do anything else. (ie - bathtime is after a feeding now) When she's full she's a lot happier.
L is also more alert, coos and ahhs, looks deep into your eyes and really smiles. All of this makes her a lot more fun to read to and play with. She likes voices, songs, dancing and bells. She still is pretty demanding when it comes to wanting to be held a lot, but when she's snugly, smiling and sweet it's a lot more enjoyable. :)
Some friends of mine had their baby girl last week. Looking at pictures of their little Bridget makes me realize how much L has already grown and changed. She's so big now.
I also realized that I really did not enjoy when she was that little. I don't know if I have a single positive memory from when she was so tiny and new. Many, many people told me to enjoy her when she was so small, but how was I supposed to do that when I was exhausted, overwhelmed, sad, angry and even resentful at times? I was surviving. There was no time to stop and smell the roses. But looking at newborn Bridget makes me wish I could have enjoyed her more. (But please note I said could, not would.)
With the baby blues behind me now, and L easier to work with, I am now finding my way in this world of being a stay at home mom. Cooking, baking, cleaning, napping, reading, writing long overdue Thank You's - all of this is fitting back into my life, which makes me feel so much more normal. I've also met a mom with a 2 month old and 2 year old. They live down the street from us and also go to St. Luke's. I'm thrilled. My life is becoming more and more what I pictured it would be.
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