Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Motherhood

Here's the update:
Things are a lot better.

L seems to be over her colicky phase (thank God!). I'm not sure if she ever was colick or if we were just clueless, but maybe it was a bit of both. We have begun to feed her right away at the first sign of fussiness and before we do anything else. (ie - bathtime is after a feeding now) When she's full she's a lot happier.

L is also more alert, coos and ahhs, looks deep into your eyes and really smiles. All of this makes her a lot more fun to read to and play with. She likes voices, songs, dancing and bells. She still is pretty demanding when it comes to wanting to be held a lot, but when she's snugly, smiling and sweet it's a lot more enjoyable. :)



Some friends of mine had their baby girl last week. Looking at pictures of their little Bridget makes me realize how much L has already grown and changed. She's so big now.

I also realized that I really did not enjoy when she was that little. I don't know if I have a single positive memory from when she was so tiny and new. Many, many people told me to enjoy her when she was so small, but how was I supposed to do that when I was exhausted, overwhelmed, sad, angry and even resentful at times? I was surviving. There was no time to stop and smell the roses. But looking at newborn Bridget makes me wish I could have enjoyed her more. (But please note I said could, not would.)



With the baby blues behind me now, and L easier to work with, I am now finding my way in this world of being a stay at home mom. Cooking, baking, cleaning, napping, reading, writing long overdue Thank You's - all of this is fitting back into my life, which makes me feel so much more normal. I've also met a mom with a 2 month old and 2 year old. They live down the street from us and also go to St. Luke's. I'm thrilled. My life is becoming more and more what I pictured it would be.

3 comments:

  1. I'm so glad to hear that things are looking up and that you're finding a routine, and some other Mommy friends!! But who told you that the weight should/would be gone by 6 weeks??? Maybe some women get that lucky, otherwise you have to be rich enough to afford a personal trainer who starves you back to your pre baby weight! Give yourself some time.

    I know I'm one of the people who told you to enjoy her in the beginning, and I feel I should explain that I meant try to enjoy any and every possible second while you're in survival mode because it does fly by and you are in such a fog. I don't really have many positive memories from the first few months either, but I tried.

    -Ton

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bonnie, I'm glad you feel that you are finding the "Mommy-Groove." You're gonna be an amazing stay at home rock star for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  3. i just wanted to say hurray for down-the-street playmates! i hope it's a great fit. that can be so wonderful.

    ReplyDelete