Here's the update:
Things are a lot better.
Lydia seems to be over her colicky phase (thank God!). I'm not sure if she ever was colick or if we were just clueless, but maybe it was a bit of both. We have begun to feed her right away at the first sign of fussiness and before we do anything else. (ie - bathtime is after a feeding now) When she's full she's a lot happier.
Lydia is also more alert, coos and ahhs, looks deep into your eyes and really smiles. All of this makes her a lot more fun to read to and play with. She likes voices, songs, dancing and bells. She still is pretty demanding when it comes to wanting to be held a lot, but when she's snugly, smiling and sweet it's a lot more enjoyable. :)
Some friends of mine had their baby girl last week. Looking at pictures of their little Bridget makes me realize how much Lydia has already grown and changed. She's so big now.
I also realized that I really did not enjoy when she was that little. I don't know if I have a single positive memory from when she was so tiny and new. Many, many people told me to enjoy her when she was so small, but how was I supposed to do that when I was exhausted, overwhelmed, sad, angry and even resentful at times? I was surviving. There was no time to stop and smell the roses. But looking at newborn Bridget makes me wish I could have enjoyed her more. (But please note I said could, not would.)
With the baby blues behind me now, and Lydia easier to work with, I am now finding my way in this world of being a stay at home mom. Cooking, baking, cleaning, napping, reading, writing long overdue Thank You's - all of this is fitting back into my life, which makes me feel so much more normal. I've also met a mom with a 2 month old and 2 year old. They live down the street from us and also go to St. Luke's. I'm thrilled. My life is becoming more and more what I pictured it would be.