Monday, August 25, 2008

I went from zero to ticked in no time

Yesterday we were at a family gathering on Trav's side. It should be known that I like these people very much.

Basically since Lydia was born they have been teasing about feeding her table food. My dad does this, too, but when he does it's veggies from the garden and in a tone that very clearly establishes that he's joking. The same is not necessarily true for Trav's family. They mention things like ice cream, cake, chips and cookies and I believe that were it not for me they would have followed through on at least some of those things by now. Travis' father has even said that by the time Trav was 3 months he'd had a sip of coffee.

I have told them several times Lydia will have nothing but breastmilk through her 6 month and then after that we will take it day to day when it comes to introducing solids. But even then, the first things she eats will not be junk food.

And then yesterday it almost happened and it ticked me off. Trav's cousin, a woman I like very much and a very good mom, went to give Lydia a dot of frosting. I wasn't paying attention but some one must have said something because I looked, saw what she was about to do and flipped out. Honestly, I majorly over-reacted and thankfully she was very gracious and good humoured about it. Clearly I feel undermined in the whole exclusive breastmilk decision but I am embarrassed about the way I acted. She's going to get an apology phone call today.

But, please allow me to say it once again:

Lydia will eat only breastmilk until she is 7 months old. Do not give her anything else to eat or drink until then, and after 7 months please ask my permission first.

Yes, I am one of those moms. For me it goes along with the whole homebirth and cloth diapering decisions.

7 comments:

  1. I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from. My mother-in-law kept insisting that I feed Avery table food AND milk from 4 months. NONONONONO. In fact, I yelled at her on Avery's first trip to Peoria; I caught her trying to feed Avery the sugar crumbs from a coffee cake. I went overboard, and you know what? That's okay. You are Lydia's mom, and you've made your wishes loud and clear. You have every right to be angry when someone doesn't listen. Glad it turned out okay; I made my mother-in-law cry.

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  2. I agree, you had every right to flip out!! Babies don't need anything but breast milk for at least the first six months, what are people thinking? Coffee at 3 months?!?! Those are the kinds of people that give their toddlers soda in sippy cups.

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  3. I completley agree with you, Bonnie! My mom breastfed us exclusively until 6 months...with my dad's mom telling her the whole time that breastfeeding is "dirty." Can you believe that? My dad and his siblings were given solid food at 2 weeks...that's just wrong.

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  4. I read in that breastfeeding book, that just like how our generation is all about who's kid walked/crawled first, our parents generation was how quickly you could get your kid to eat solids...sometimes as early as a few weeks!!! Everyone must have been a bunch of nutbags back then!
    Good job protecting your baby mama!

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  5. I don't know that everyone was nuts back then... they just didn't know any better. Now that we have better information about what is best for babies, we can make better choices.

    I think you had every right to make your wishes clear, Bonnie. It can be really hard, with pressure coming from people who love Lydia but are not as tied to her, not as responsible for her as you are, to just "loosen up" and give her something that might make her smile. I think that's what it's mostly about, just making her smile, you know? I don't think these people have any ill intentions, they just want a cute little baby smile (that they caused by giving her some inappropriate food). Definitely stick to your guns on this one. My mom still talks about how her mother-in-law pressured her to stop nursing Emily at 6 months, which she did and has always regretted. I think she got more confident as she went on, though. She nursed me for 9 months and Eric for a year. So don't let anyone make you feel like they know better. Just smile and nod, then go right on doing what you know is best for Lydia.

    With my own boys, I've had varied experiences. With Simon I was extremely careful. I remember once at my Grandma's (same lady who caused my mom to stop nursing at 6 mos) everyone thought I was incredibly ridiculous for not letting Simon have some mashed potatoes because of all the butter and salt in them. He was probably about a year old at the time. With Theo I was much more relaxed. The upside is that he is less picky than Simon, which I think is related to letting him try more foods at an earlier age (but still within reason). But it still makes me sick in my heart to see him beg his grandparents for soda, which, of course, they got him hooked on in the first place. Hmf.

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  6. She's YOUR baby, so it's YOUR decision! I mean, I started Landon on baby food at 4 months and he has never had a problem and I breastfed until 15 months. But, I remember even after I started feeding him babyfood someone tried to give him cake or icing or ice cream at Justin's family thing and I too flipped out! Just because he is eating food, doesn't mean he needs to eat junk food!

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  7. I wholeheartedly agree with you! I'm not sure how you handled the situation, but I trust your judgement in saying that you overreacted. However, that being said, it's like pushing a trigger button that's been pre-set, emotionally-speaking, when you've already been down that road with family and they insist on doing things their own way with your child. We went through this with my in-laws as well and my husband and I were just incredulous at times at the things his family would try to give Hannah. Hannah and I had several different issues that came up early on with nursing and my milk dried up at 5 weeks postpartum (a crushing blow to me that is still an emotion-filled topic to this day, but I don't sob over it daily like I did the first 5 months of her life). Even with having to feed my daughter formula, I am, in my heart of hearts, a nursing, hippie, granola-crunching mama that wants to mother my daughter in a natural manner rather than trying to fit the mold of what our current society holds dear. Mind you, I didn't used to be this way, but ever since my pregnancy I've become a different person - I am someone's mother and that has changed everything. You just stick to your guns on this one, Bonnie, because you are right. Your mama-gut is telling you what to do with Lydia and the research out there for health and nutrition of moms and babies supports what your instincts are telling you.

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