So, here's the thing. Pretty much the only way that L can get to sleep is if I nurse her to sleep. This is a alright for the most part, except for the fact that it means I pretty much have to be around every night. It can also be hard because, truth be told, I don't really like breastfeeding.
Okay, breastfeeding - it's super easy, it's super quick, it's super good for mom and baby. It creates a bond, it soothes, studies show it makes kids healthier and smarter. Breastfeeding is pretty much an absolute GOOD. But it makes for a LOT of personal contact and often, by the end of the day, I am ready to not hold my daughter any more. It's not that I don't love her, or think she's absolutely wonderful and adorable, it's just that I want to not have to touch anyone.
So that's my little secret. As much of a breastfeeding activist that I am, I don't love doing it.
Because of all that, Travis and I recently decided to try getting L to sleep by being rocked or just held. But the new bedtime routine of dinner (cereal), bath, book and cuddle hasn't been working very well and in the end, after much fussing, I just end up nursing her anyways.
Last night, though, we decided to try "Crying it out." It was clear that she was tired when we put her in the crib but after 50 minutes she was still crying and I felt like a JERK. (We did the method where you go back and soothe without picking up after certain periods of time.) But in the end I picked her up, apologized for leaving her alone, asked for her forgiveness, let her snuggle into my chest and eventually nursed her to sleep.
I'm not quite sure if we're succeeding as parents in this area or failing, but I think it just depends on which camp you ask. I do know this, it will be awhile before we try "crying it out" again, if we ever do.
Any words of encouragement or advice?
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