June 2, 2009

Motherhood a year later

May 2008 I wrote the following:

Because I had the natural knack for mothering, and I feel it's my vocation, I thought this would be so much easier. I was duped. About a week ago, as I lay in bed, I thought to myself, "I don't remember praying for humility." But that is what I've gotten. My pride and dignity have gone out the window time and time again: milk soaking my shirts, poop all over, crying I cannot console, a boob poking out while I'm burping a fussy L, and on top of it all I can't shower or brush my teeth until 11 usually. And when I'm low on sleep the crying is much more likely to not only begin, but continue for hours. (I'm talking about myself crying, not my daughter.)

It is amazing how such a tiny person can make me feel so unsure, incapable and frustrated.

What a difference a year can make. I have learned that sleep is vitally important to my ability to mother and that

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