Saturday, September 26, 2009

we're serious about our root beer, folks

Recently, we were working on a 6 pack of root beer and it went flat half way through the pack. So my husband, who is a root beer aficionado actually called A&W to complain. Yesterday in the mail we received a letter and a coupon for a free 12 pack. The first line of the letter reads:

Thank you for contacting us regarding the level of carbonation in your A&W Root Beer.

We thought it was hilarious.

comment box change

I have nothing to say, I just think it's time to move on. Little tired of people telling me things I already know because I did my reading. My husband and I just decided to do things differently. No need to be attacked.

Also, I'm changing the settings on my comment box and all comments will now need to be approved by me before they're posted. Name calling, attacks, anon commenters and comments that are made by people who have their own agenda but no blog of their own will not be published.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

more random blogging

Bennet got full bath #2 - it went much better than the first. Soon after he was dressed we were snuggling on the sofa and he spit up an amazing amount which traveled down my nightgown and soaked the top half of my undies. So much for that sweet moment.

Lydia spent the night at Grandma's so Bennet and I could get things done. This includes a doctor's appointment.

I look at my son and I cannot believe how big he is. Granted he has gained weight and is over 11 lbs now, but when I look at his arms I am amazed I gave birth to him. Even his forearms are huge.

I have been reminded recently about how much I don't really enjoy the newborn stage. As much as I want more children, I really don't want any more babies. Every time I think of me as a mom I always picture myself with kids between the ages of 14 and 4. This is very telling, I think, and I should probably pray about it. I'm wondering if I'm called to adopting older kids. Hmmm....

Sunday, September 20, 2009

So far being a mom of two has been easy with a few touches of difficult.

Right about when I was feeling better from the birth I was slammed with mastitis. I tried to take care of it naturally, pumping and nursing and resting, but after two days with a 103 temp I surrendered and got antibiotics. As that was getting better Bennet and I caught the cold that Lydia had gotten from her dad. I'm tired and stuffy, with an occasional cough, but this too is getting better.

Mom has been a huge amount of help, and for over a week we had someone with us almost 24 hours a day. When Bennet would wake in the middle of the night our Helper would get him, change his diaper, bring him to me for nursing and then soothe him to sleep so I could return to bed. I find that I loose 40-60 minutes of sleep every time he wakes up if Helper is not with us, so that has been incredibly wonderful.

All this help, along with the fact that Bennet is an easy baby has made this new stage of motherhood easy for me.


In the midst of all this I've come to see two fears before me. The first is over sleep. I am very afraid of becoming exhausted again. The lack of sleep that turned into extreme sleep deprivation that happened during the first 6 months of Lydia's life was horrible. I was not able to bond with my daughter. I was angry and sad almost all of the time. I felt like I was drowning and there was nothing to pull me out. I was disappointed in myself, felt bad for my daughter and felt incredibly lonely. I do not want this to happen to me again, but I'm not sure how to get the sleep I need if I cannot nap every day or sleep through each night.

My second fear is about Lydia. Our relationship has changed since Bennet's birth and I miss what it was. We were partners and we enjoyed being with each other (okay, we did drive each other crazy every once in awhile). Now it seems that when she wants me most, which would be when she's tired - waking up or ready for sleep - is when I am tending to Bennet, nursing him or soothing him to sleep. I hate the way she looks at me, she's so mad and hurt. Any more she prefers her grandma or daddy to me, which breaks my heart and leaves me feeling rejected. I'm not sure how to restore what we had, or if I'll ever be able to, but I wish she could understand that I miss snuggling with her at nap time just as much as she does.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

today was my first day alone with both kids

I vacuumed the living room, straightened up the dining room, and I was able to shower in the morning. Hair was combed and teeth brushed before lunch.

Nap time was not as successful. It was then that I cried, which brought the total of crying people up to three.

We'll see how tomorrow goes.

It's so nice outside I seriously want to go out, but we don't have a double stroller and I'm struggling with the sling I have. Plus, we all seem to have colds so maybe we should just stay in anyway.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I just saved 100 sq feet of rainforest

This is how I did it:

- got mastitis
- had HUGE cravings for orange juice
- sent Mom to grocery store
- drank juice and read carton while eating lunch
- read that by visiting and entering the code on my carton Tropicana would save 1oo sq feet of rainforest.

You don't have to do the first three steps; I strongly urge you to not even attempt the first.

You do have to set up an account and give them your email and mailing address, which might mean mail, which might mean less trees anyway, but we can pretend we know that those coupons they're mailing us are printed on 100% recycled paper and will be recycled again once used / received.

Monday, September 14, 2009

A couple of things about Bennet's name

In the 10 days he's been alive there's been some things that have come up about my son's name and I'd just like to clarify because I fear I may have doomed my son to a life of explanations. Hopefully, this will help ease his future burden, the burden I completely unknowingly placed upon his shoulders.

1 - It's spelled B-E-N-N-E-T. Just one "t".

2 - Spelling it with one "t" seemed to be a good choice to us, and one that was validated by our peers (see here). To me, Bennett (note two "t"s) is a last name. I know of a couple who named their son Bennett because it was the mom's maiden name. I like this, and I like that the name has so much meaning, but there are no Bennetts in our family tree. In fact, the only Bennett I even know (as in personally know) is a guy I went to college with. Nice guy, decent singer, fairly cute. I haven't talked to him since I graduated over 5 years ago and we were never good enough friends that I'd name my first born son after him.

3 - It is in no way a nod to the Bennet family of Jane Austen's imagination. This might be amazing to you since I spelled Lydia's middle name with an "e" as a nod to Anne of Green Gables. I do love Pride and Prejudice and I have called my son "Mr. Bennet" already, but for the most part that family was incredibly silly and Mr. Bingly is actually my favorite character. But Bingly is probably a better name for a pet.

4 - My one semester of college French does not make me an expert, and maybe my friend, the MHS French teacher, could help me out, but I'm pretty sure that Bennet is not actually a French name and should be pronounced "Ben-ae". Do Travis and I look like pretentious people? I mean, have you seen our house? Seriously, knock it off with the "Ben-ae" stuff.

5 - To further emphasize point #4, allow me to point out that Bennet is pronounced exactly as it is spelled: Ben - net. I'm fairly certain it is an English name.

6 - You may call him Bennet or Ben. If you seriously love him, you may call him Benno. But only if you've met my Grandpa W or know of his glory.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

6 days later

A week ago today I went into labor! Yay!

Here's a few updates about life as a family of four.

- Lydia is a great big sister. She sleeps through his crying at night, points out his body parts (hair, belly, ear), and seems to enjoy the fact that when his diaper is being changed it's not her diaper.

- I'm fighting a small case of mastitis. Yesterday I had a temp of 100.8, chills and sweats and I was very weak and tired. Today I'm feeling much better, but I'm still taking it mighty easy.

- We have been receiving huge amounts of help and support from family and friends, for which we are incredibly grateful. Meals, laundry, babysitting, light cleaning, playing with Lydia, gifts and company - all have been much appreciated and needed.

- Bennet's umbilical cord stump fell off Tuesday night. That fact makes Travis and I very happy because it smelled pretty darn rank. My midwife pointed out, though, that it is a piece of rotting flesh after all.

- Bennet is a MUCH easier baby than Lydia ever was. He cries if he's poopy or hungry. He takes good, long naps. He nurses rather well. He doesn't have to be held all the time. I am very grateful to God for giving me an easy baby and I hope and pray He never gives me a difficult baby again. Surely Lydia was more than enough.

- The weepiness has kicked in, but at this point the baby blues are nothing compared to last time. I cry the most when I'm tired, but I've been a lot more intentional this time around to nap. The first time I cried was actually about Lydia. She was staying with my in-laws the first couple of days of Bennet's life and I missed her and - boom - I was crying.

- Completely not related to my children: Travis and I discovered the old tv show Coach can be watched instantly via Netflix. While watching it they said, "Coach is filmed before a live studio audience. " When I heard those words they felt really nostalgic to me - most of the shows I watched growing up were filmed before a live studio audience (Full House, Home Improvement, etc) but not any more. I started thinking about that and how all the shows I watch now are dramas or cop shows or whatever, but definitely not sitcoms. And if a show is filmed in front of an audience it's American Idol, Jeopardy, etc. Hmmm... I think they should bring back a sitcom. That would make me - get a load of this - happy! :)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Bennet's Birth Story

This time is all started with a jerk of a woman...

Mom had Lydia and Travis and I decided to have one more date night. I decided I wanted Chinese to see if it would help bring on the pain. I was already having contractions but we didn't want them to die off, so armed with a towel, we made our way to the buffet. As we entered the restaurant a gray haired woman, at a table full of women, saw me and loudly said, "Jesus Christ!" She then turned to the other women and whispered and nodded at my belly. All of them stared. She made me so mad... But I was really big.

By the time we got home we knew it was time to start timing the contractions. We knew it was the night so we called Bernice, got in bed and slept between contractions. Attending this birth was Bernice, my midwife; Kim, the leader of my LLL chapter and Bernice's birth assistant; Katie B, our good friend; and my mom would come at pushing time, Lydia in tow.

I had hoped to not labor through the night again but this time around the back labor was very limited so it wasn't as bad, and everyone seemed pretty confident that this labor and delivery would be shorter and easier. In the middle of the night we went for a walk to speed things up, I took a bath, slept some more, got sick a couple of times, and by the morning we were all pretty confident that the baby would be born by 10am.

But we experienced some problems. First, as my body was getting tired and I was beginning to feel the urge to push part of my cervix was not completely open. The baby was moving down but couldn't get through because of it. We tried a variety of positions, with Bernice holding back the lip, but in the end I was too exhausted and too, um, backed up. I must say that Bernice's positioning was quite brave since my water still had not broken. All I wanted to do was lay down and fall asleep but Kim and Bernice wouldn't let me. I believe I also asked them at this time if they had an epidural. The pain wasn't as bad as it had been with Lydia, but my body felt too tired to deal with it and work through the contractions. Alas, there was no epidural in the birthing supplies.

However, there was an enema, which was administered on the bathroom floor. They told me to try to hold it in as long as possible, but that was just crazy talk. As soon as Bernice was done I leaped off the floor and onto the toilet. After a bit I started to bear down and leaping off the toilet cried, "This isn't poop anymore!"

The next part I don't remember very well. I think I was kneeling for a little bit as I pushed out his head. I was so proud of myself, too, because I went slowly so I wouldn't tear like I did with Lydia. I remember Bernice having me reach down to feel his head as a way to encourage me, and Travis telling me that he had a cute face. It was painful and I know I was crying out, but it was about to get worse.

Both of his shoulders ended up getting stuck. This meant that Bernice had to reach up and free him while I was pushing. I know I was standing with my knees bent and I was hollering in pain. At one point I think I screamed out to Mother Mary, but I'm not sure what I said. I think it was a prayer, though. I know that my mom took Lydia outside because it was too hard for her to hear me in so much pain and she didn't want Lydia to become scared. I know Katie, who was supposed to be taking pictures, looked unsure and worried. Travis' body tensed a bit; Bernice and Kim became faster and more stern with their directions. I remember thinking, "My baby is going to die because of this."

When he did come out Bernice lifted him up to me. I turned him on his side and we started rubbing his back. His heart rate was checked and it was still strong, but he wasn't crying. Just as Kim went to get the oxygen, though, he started up and everyone was relieved. I looked down to see that he was a baby boy and then asked if I could sit down.

Travis cut the cord. The afterbirth came out without any problems. Mom was summoned and Lydia came in to see her new brother - although she didn't quite know what he was or where he came from. Baby boy and I got cleaned up a bit and went to the bed to rest while things were picked up. At that point Travis and I talked about the name.
As you probably know, we were originally going to name him Bennet, which was our boy name for Lydia and is a nod to the pope and my grandpa Benno. But when we learned of several other Bennets we changed to Kolbe. But recently we dropped Kolbe; Travis wanted to use Joseph and I wanted to go back to Bennet. As we sat on the bed we played Paper, Rock, Scissor to see who would get their way. Travis won 2 out of 3 but then said that after all I went through I earned the right to name him.
Bennet Mark weighed 10lbs 11oz. He is 21.75" long. His head is 14" and chest 15" in circumference. He latched on right away and is a great nurser. His pinky toes are crooked and all his toes are long and thin. He had hands like his Grandpa E and the nose of a Fandel. Lydia can say his name and it is so, so, so cute.
My afterpains are horrible - they travel all the way down to my knees - and my bottom is sore. With all the extra work that came from his shoulders I ended up needing some stitches. Other than that I feel good as long as I don't have to walk any further than to the bathroom. I've already lost 21lbs, but I still have 30 to go! I'll have to not eat too much of the plum birth day cake Katie made, though.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and warm wishes. God bless you!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Lydia's animals

Today my baby girl is 16 months old. Not really a baby anymore.

And yes, those are my ginormous maternity undies she is wearing around her neck. (they're clean)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I'm having a pity party and you're invited!

It starts right now. BYOB.

Sometimes I just feel sorry for myself, and I let lots of little things that shouldn't bother me, bother me. So today, despite the fact that I got a lot accomplished, didn't have to cook dinner, had Culver's for dessert and watched the good and funny movie Run, Fat Boy, Run, I am currently unable to sleep because I'm feeling anxious.

The reasons for my anxiety really come down to 4 things: I'm not in labor, it's 11:20pm and I can't fall asleep, my brother-in-law is currently staying with Trav's ex-fiance's parents (would that make you feel awkward? It makes me feel awkward.), and I just saw a picture of said ex on FB and she looks really pretty while, damnit, I'm fat, swollen, pimply and the stretch marks on my stomach are about to invade the rest of my body.

Let me tell ya, if you ever want to feel like crap, find a current, good picture of your husband's first love while you look and feel like a beached whale. Instant crap.

Update: I'd like to clarify that I don't think my b-i-l shouldn't be with the ex's parents, it's just a little wierd, especially since I will most likely give birth to Travis' child (you know, a variation of the grandkid they could have had) while he's with them. B-i-l is there for work reasons, as Mr. EP is his boss. And truly, Travis and his entire family have a lot of respect for Mr. and Mrs. EP. So it's not that I have a problem with my incredibly kind brother-in-law, or the ex's parents, it's just that the whole situation is a little wierd for me.