September 19, 2010

today was a hard day

I just returned from spending the afternoon at the hospital. 

This morning James peed out of his catheter, which is good, and his kidneys have maintained a healthy, steady rate of voiding.  There seems to be no problems with his heart or lungs. 

The warming up process is well underway.  He did have a seizure today so his anti-seizure medicine had to be upped again.  He had some blood in his mouth but we're not sure where it's coming from.  His eyes were wide open, until they increased is seizure med, and he was looking around and moving a lot more.  However, his pupils do not dilate, his eyes do not focus on anything, and when the nurse moved her hand close to his eyes he did not blink.  For me, his eyes made him seem so sick, and it seemed like a little dose of reality.  However, there is still room for hope since we don't know if they eyes mean he's blind, severely brain damaged, or just doped up.  That spectrum is just overwhelming.

Thank you for your prayers and support.

Today, as we were leaving the hospital, a girl I went to school with my whole life, and haven't seen for 10 years showed up.  She was coming to drop off a card from her and her mom.  They gave us a gas card and a gift certificate to a local, awesome pizza place.  The manager at the restaurant went to high school with us and when she told him about James he donated the gift certificate she was trying to buy.  It's all so humbling and beautiful.


  1. We are also experiencing hard days in the NICU. My whole family will pray for you!

  2. we are still with you in prayer bonnie! every single day, many times a day i think about all of you and send prayers. the hospital is just down the street from where i live and sometimes i just look in that direction while washing dishes or helping my kids and i wonder how little james is doing. prayers, prayers, prayers. so much love is coming your way.