When people ask, "When are you due?" it fun to say, "May 16th," when it's 3 months away. And then it's fun to say, "In two weeks." Even more fun is to say, "I'm due on Wednesday" when there is less than a week on the ticking clock.
But it's not as fun to answer, "Today."
And it's a bummer to say, "Yesterday."
I am still afraid of the outcome of this pregnancy and at this point I'm still about 55% expecting to not bring the baby home. When I look through the baby clothes section at stores I alternate between thinking about buying her something special to wear home from the hospital (right now I just have L's hand-me-downs packed) and thinking about buying something to bury her in.
It's so morbid sounding, isn't it.
At this point I want to go into labor not because I'm tired of being so big, so pregnant, so hot, so uncomfortable. I want to go into labor because I just want to get it over with and move on to the next stage. Do I celebrate or mourn? Do things go well or very badly? Can I do this?
At this point I really want those answers. I'm one day overdue and not in labor.
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