March 19, 2008

9 little birds

So far we've had 9 birds get into our house. We're not exactly sure how they get in, but they do. A couple of weeks ago I came home to a bird flying between the kitchen window and the dining room window. The bird had eaten all our apples and then puked them all up and had pooped all over. The bird had also been upstairs in the apartment where my cousin is currently living and had pooped all over there, too.

To put it in Travis' words, "After that, I vowed no bird would leave our house alive again."

And he's been true to his word.

The next bird Travis caught with his bare hands, took to the garage, but in a plastic bag and then chopped it in half with his axe.

The next bird Travis smacked with a broom, leaving it alive but knocked out. That bird was taken to the garage and beheaded.

The last bird was whacked by the broom and died on impact.

My advice to the bird community is stay away from our house!


  1. okay, i totally get that it would suck to have your house puked and shat upon. yeah, that's disgusting, but OH THE BIRDIE CARNAGE!!!!!!! poor, poor birdies, heed the warning and do not enter the blue house on Fisk street.

    where do you think they are getting in? nine is an awful lot. have you had any bats? we've had two bats. freaky as hell. but no mess to clean up, thankfully. sorry about that.

    oh, bonnie did you clean up the bird poop? because i think there could be some risky diseases in bird shit. be careful with that, okay?

    (thus ends the longest comment ever)

  2. We thought we knew where they were getting in from, but upon further inspection we are completely at a loss.

    And I think part of the reason Travis has begun killing is because I haven't been cleaning up the bird poop (I love being pregnant!). He's really tired of cleaning up after them. And they were the cause of a break of drywall. And they have pooped on our unstained, new windows - which isn't good.

    No bats. Just starlings.

  3. I know this an old post, but I still feel compelled to comment: I never fully appreciated what a Bad Ass Travis is, until now. - Ryan.

  4. I know this is really old post, but after being sad about the first bird and the second bird being killed... I LAUGHED at the third bird... Dead on impact. At least it didn't have to go in a bag or be chopped...