May 17, 2008

Report from a mother of a 2 week old

I am so tired of breastfeeding and crying and changing diapers. I am not tired of sleeping.

People keep telling me this will get easier but I am beginning to believe that all people lie. My experience is that it gets harder. Every day.


  1. Here I am again...3 comments in a row and we haven't even met yet. :-) I hear everything you're saying and I also hear everything that you're not saying in those comments - I was there, I know, I understand, and you're not alone in feeling all of this. More encouragement....YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB! YOU ARE AN AWESOME MOMMY! LYDIA IS BLESSED TO HAVE YOU! Of all the women in the world, God formed Lydia inside of YOU, He chose YOU to be her mom, and knew that this was the best thing for both of you (and for Travis). I remember thinking after my daughter was born "I didn't know what I was getting in to. I can't believe I prayed and asked God for THIS! I didn't know any better, but He did. WHAT WAS HE THINKING?!?! Surely He knew I couldn't do this!!" So many doubts, so many tears, so many questions and feelings of failure. Don't buy into the lies that Satan is feeding your spirit right now, Bonnie. He will rob you of this precious time with Lydia. Renew your mind with Scripture. And, if in hearing this, you want to throw the Bible at me right now, I understand. Been there, too. :-) Hang in really does get better. People would tell me that repeatedly at the beginning when it was so hard - and I swore they were all lying to me, that it was a big mommy-conspiracy. Turns out, they were right. It never gets easy like things were before having kids, but relative to what you're going through onw, it's much easier. YOU'RE DOING AN AWESOME JOB! - Audrey

  2. oh bonnie!! it is rough, i know. it can seem like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but i promise you on my life it does get so much better! in 2-4 more weeks your hormones will regulate, and lydia will get on a better schedule, and you will get more rest. if you need to talk, you can call me anytime, i know what you're going through - it's not fun! mary and i will come visit you soon, too.
    love & prayers,

  3. It DOES definitely get better. Hang in there.

  4. Well the last comment was really good so I don't think I can top that...but I will say that I love you, and you are an amazing woman and like the last comment stated...God chose Lydia for you for a reason...because you will be the best mom for Lydia! I can't tell you that it will get better, simply because I've never been in your position...but I want you to know that I am thinking about you, Travis, and the baby constantly, and I am always praying for you. I can only hope that I can be as strong and faithful as you if/when I am a mother. You are an amazing woman and I look up to you... I always have. Hang in there Bonnie. Love you like whoa ;)


  5. You are definitely trudging uphill right now, and I can vividly recall all the feelings you are describing here. It feels so impossible, it feels like you don't have one iota of energy left, it feels like the world has left you alone with this creature who you're not sure you even like. That's how I felt, at least. Every hill has a top, Bonnie, and every hill has another side, an easier, downhill side. I don't know when you'll get your downhill break, but I hope it's soon.

    The hard thing for the people around you who love you is that we can't help you with these things. That heavy, heavy burden of new motherhood is on you alone. But we can help you with other things, and I hope you'll ask for the help you need. I'm talking about laundry, cooking, cleaning, thank-you notes, etc. I'm going to call you tomorrow to see if there's a time this week when I could come over. Love you. Thinking of you lots. xoxoxo

  6. I know it's so hard, but trust us we're NOT lying when we say it DOES get easier, it just takes time! I had some bad baby blues for awhile too, I cried all day every day for a few weeks. Somewhere along the line you all just somehow figure it out and develop your own routines. The first few months is a blur no matter what. Just sleep whenever you can, everything else can wait. Hang in there!