January 24, 2010

Peter's would-have-been birthday

January is the month that our first child, Peter, was due to be born.  The 15th was his official due date, and it was a day that came and went without tears, just a brief acknowledgement that it was here and he wasn't.

I know that if Peter would have survived then L would not be here, which is a tricky truth.

I bring him up, not for condolances, but because I want you to remember him the same way I do.  He is always present to me as a great litany of questions and imagined features, giggles and hugs.

I suppose, more than anything, I want people to be more compassionate to mothers who have miscarried and to their families.  I still grieve for the child I never knew.

1 comment:

  1. Bonnie, it is hard not ever meeting our children. And not a day goes by that we don't think of them. I always wonder if Maria and Bernadette would've looked alike and had the same color red hair. -Susie PS: I like this post.