When I was a girl all four of my mom's grandparents were still alive. I have many memories of them and I consider it a gift that I knew them as well as I did. My mom's mom's mom I especially remember: her light red hair, her knobby hands, the colorful popcorn balls she'd make, sitting in her little living room and looking at her little knick-knacks.
When she died they sang "In the Garden" at her funeral. Ever since I have associated that song with her and with the loss and grief we felt once she was gone.
Recently, several events have happened in my family's private life, one right after the other, and all have left me feeling like the rug was pulled out from underneath us. Some of the things happening have left me worried and sad, others have left me hurt and angry. All together, I've been a bit of a beat up mess for a couple of months now, though probably only my husband would know it.
For the most part I don't know how to deal with the situations at hand. I suspect I just need to make my way through it all and time will take care of the details, so that's been my mode of operation.
And then, a couple of weeks ago, came a special break from it all. A friend invited me to attend the local Avett Brothers' concert, her treat. She had an extra ticket and was pretty sure I was the only one of her friends who knows who the band is, let alone enjoys their music.
It was a thrill.
I suppose it was a bit of a relief for me, a night away where I didn't have to think or talk about anything hard. I could just listen to the music... until a specific song in the night.
When those three men stood in a spotlight and sang "In the Garden" tears sat in my eyes and a lump sat in my throat.
I'd stay in the garden with Him tho the night around me be falling. But He bids me go through a voice of woe. His voice to me is calling, and He walks with me and He talks with me and He tells me I am His own. And the joy we share as we tarry there none other has ever known.
And that about sums it up, folks.
Just visiting here for the first time. This post made me think of the same kind of thing that happened to me around four years ago with family struggles. My husband and I found, quite by providence, the devotion to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. We started praying it, and WOW everything started to get resolved without us really knowing how. It was really amazing. It might be worth a try.ReplyDelete
Gosh, I love the Avett Brothers! My grandma had that song on a plaque on the wall above her piano. When I was little, I'd go sit and play it from the wall and sing along. It was a long time before I realized it was also in the hymnal and I didn't need to squint so much...but anyway, I have the words in my heart. :-)ReplyDelete
You are so beloved of God, Bonnie. Jesus is right there with you guys in the middle of the mess. Even when things are falling apart, *especially* when things are falling apart, he's never leaving. He's with you, he's for you- he won't let you down. Y'all are in my prayers every day, sweet friend. Much love. <3
Hugs, Burn. Thinking of you. XoxoReplyDelete
Praying for you, Bonnie.ReplyDelete
Oh wow, to them sing her song! Bonnie...what a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your heartache.......... I will be praying for you and know how much I appreciate your prayers for my family too.ReplyDelete