You always start off with a bang and then so quickly you trickle off.
"I will pray more and eat less. I will trust in God and not feed my fears and worries."
For one day. Yeeeeah, I'll do that for one day and then just ease up a bit. mmm'kay?
Oh Lent, I am so tired of being half-hearted.
Yesterday in my mom's group I confessed to my friends that I often think, "I need to be merciful because 'the measure with which I measure will be measured out to me' and that is a horrible reason to be merciful."
So Lent, let's work on that. I have looked at what I want and who I want to be and I'm trying, again, to be that person. I think I often look like I'm doing a good job but really I want to actually be doing a good job. The kind that gets a "well done, good and faithful servant" in the end and responds with complete humility and gratitude to God.
Lent, we can do this. There's some things I need to do. Not too much, but not too little either.
How is it, Lent, that you always show me how little I think of myself and how much I think of myself all at the same time.
So my real goals, Lent, have been reset. You asked, "How will you pray more?" And I have answered.
Midday Prayer and/or Night Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours.
At least one Stations of the Cross
At least two holy hours.
Confession at least twice.
You have asked, "How will you eat less?" And I have answered.
No desserts through the week.
All Fridays will be fasting days.
But I will also exercise for just 10 measly minutes every day.
And you want to know how I will trust God more?
By responding to my kids and household duties foremost, trusting that my vocation should come first and that the other good things you have brought into my life can wait a bit, because that is how you want it.
I'm sure, Lent, that I will have to recommit myself to these goals again and again - and not only during Lent as many of them I want to make a part of my day. But in the meantime, let's celebrate that at least I got my house decorated.