Phoenix in Spring + Jesus + the Beloved Retreat

Things have been tough for me since November. I've been tired in every way a person can be tired. I spent most of December super sick. In January I sat at my grandfather's death bed for a week and then buried him the next. In February we buried Travis' grandfather. And this month, March, we had a really tough meeting about a variety of learning disabilities and developmental delays in one of our kids.

I feel defeated in a lot of ways, run down, like a failure, worried about the future, and sad about the past. There have been highlights, like Kathryn and The Head and the Heart, but folks, it was an incredibly special day when my husband forwarded me an email from a friend with travel information. I had been gifted the amazing opportunity to attend the Blessed Is She Beloved Retreat held March 18th in Phoenix, Arizona. And I cried, feeling both unworthy of such a gift and so grateful for the chance to retreat.

Besides the fact that it felt like Illinois in July it was perfect. There seems to be a rule that you have to be really beautiful and amazing to live in Arizona because every single woman I met was both of those. I had great conversations with complete strangers, caught up with several old friends, and was blown away by the awesomeness of the Catholic community in the Phoenix area. 

But the retreat... Folks, it was breathtaking. Beautiful touches were everywhere to make things super special, unique, and feminine. The vibe was hip but not pretentious, joyful but vulnerable, prayerful but fun. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner were all served and they were delicious. The swag bag was great: informative, practical, and with a few really special touches. 

But what made it really powerful for me were the talks, the praise and worship, and adoration. The day followed Henri Nouwen's Life of the Beloved, with each talk building on the previous ones, explaining how we are Chosen, Blessed, Broken, and Given. There were Truths spoken in those talks that really shook me. There were things said that spoke right to my wounds and doubts and fears. By the time we got to Beth Davis' talk on being Broken I was biting my lip so as not to do a sobbing ugly cry. 

 For all the pretty touches throughout the day and the amazing worship, led by Ike Ndolo, his band, and Emily Wilson (who also gave the Blessed talk), I spent the second half of the day stuck in the Broken. I knew that was Sr. Maria Kim, and Emily, and Beth were saying was all true but I couldn't let go and do what they said.

"The Lord is the God of Israel," Sr. Kim had said. "And He is yours, too. Ask Him to speak your name in prayer. The Lord is the God of Bonnie. It is personal and intimate."

"Whatever it is that you believe about yourself - you're not good enough, pretty enough, you're a failure, a loser, a bad mom, stupid, worthless - whatever it is, hold it up to God and ask Him, "Is this true?" Emily spoke these words but I couldn't do it.

"Invite Jesus into your brokenness and let Him heal it," Beth said but the thought scared me because my current state of brokenness seems such a mess. 

And then came adoration. They said Father would process with the monstrance but what he did was so much more than that. Every woman had an intimate, personal encounter with Christ in the Eucharist as the priest brought Him to us all. And as He stood before me I couldn't hold it in any more. And with my tears, the priest brought Christ even closer. It was intense and powerful and healing. 

Honestly, I'm still unpacking it all. I'm still thinking and praying on it all and reviewing what all I saw and heard and felt. 

You can see more pictures and watch a clip of adoration on my Instagram feed but, wow, ladies, I hope you can do one better and go to a Beloved Retreat yourself one day. It was refreshing to my soul and good for my heart. 

PS - I heard that there is still a handful of tickets left for the Austin, Texas Beloved Retreat happening *this* Saturday, April 1st. If you can, please go. If you have half as good and beautiful of a time as I did you will not be sorry you went. Go with your mom, your sisters, your small group, and don't be afraid to go alone if you have to. You won't feel alone or left out, I promise. 

You can learn more and get your ticket here.

A Potluck Post

You know, a potluck: a little of this, a little of that, everyone brings their best stuff?

In case you missed these blog posts, podcasts, and announcements in other parts of the web I thought I'd share the good news here. :)


First up: Blessed Is She is growing by offering more regional retreats!


In a couple weeks they will be on the beach (literally? I don't know.) in Seal Beach, California. You can still sign up for the October 15th retreat and for those close to the Southwest there is an upcoming retreat in Chandler, Arizona on March 18. Midwesterners and East Coasters - a BIS retreat will be coming your way, too, so stay tuned. For more information and to register go here.


Second, here's some of my favorite recent reads and listens from the internet:
Success is Not a Name of God
The Story of a Forever Home
Why and How I Chucked 2/3 of My Closet
If You Bring a Mom a Muffin
I Want a Better Marriage
The Power of Writing It Down
To Live With Our Wounds
Long Live the Queen
An Apology to My Readers
Life in the Time of Grief and Twitter
Saying 'Yes' in the Mess: Mary's Fiat for Overwhelmed  Moms



And finally, if you are a small business owner, crafter, vendor, etc please consider being a part of
my upcoming Advent Care Package Giveaway. I did one two years ago and will be doing it again this November. If you'd like to be part of the merry-making, and have your business / item featured on my blog and social media please email your information, proposed donation, item's dollar value, and all relevant website / social media links to bonniefandel at gmail dot com. All donations would need to be shipped to me by November 1st to be eligible for the giveaway.

Alright! Have a great day, folks! xo

Seven Quick Takes for Your Friday Afternoon

1 - Ahhhh... The Head and the Heart have a new album and this is the new single and I just love it all. (Remember the time Blythe interviewed her brother Kenny - the pianist in THATH - for my blog? It was a good one.)


2 - So who watched Kathryn's Blessed Is She workshop, Raising a Holy Family: Toddlers Through Teens last night? I was so excited to see it - Kathryn has spoken at my parish's mom group before and she was amazing. Her wisdom, her humility, her Texas twang - all of it! Unfortunately I had to miss it...


3 - ... because of freakin' Hand, Foot, and Mouth. Two of my boys have it now and I'm sure Jofis will come down with it, too. I'm holding out how that Baby Tee, the girls, and Travis and I will be safe. For some reason this strand is taking down adults, too, and with school and back to school events beginning next week for half of this household I really hope it's all said and done asap.


4 - But back to happier things and Kathryn... I'm throwing a Star Wars themed birthday party for the boys later this month. Basically I am just gonna do what Kathryn did for her Star Wars themed party. Why re-create the wheel, right? I did just buy this Darth Vadar costume (affiliate link!), one in small and one in medium. It will serve as birthday presents and Halloween costumes, and it will end hours of fighting to our days! My boys love Darth Vadar, not Han Solo, not Finn, not Chewie. Darth Vadar. Oh well.


5 - Here's a quick tip: Got beer you don't like? Use it to cook your stew meat or roast in. It has worked for us every time. In fact, the more we hate the beer the more we love the gravy!


6 - One perk of being a blogger is being able to send flowers for free to a friend as part of a company's incentive. It's true - and you can think what you want of me. I was so grateful
to FTD for sending me this gorgeous bouquet of flowers and letting me send some love to Nell with the same arrangement. She has been a great blogging buddy - she cheers me on and gently corrects and directs when needed. She has opened her heart and home to me and has done so much in service to Blessed Is She and Catholic bloggers everywhere.

So thanks, FTD, for allowing us to #connectbetter. ;)


7 - Last but not least, Kelly's 7QTs today is so good: What To Do When Your Child Won't Stop Staring at a Person in a Wheelchair. I thought it was super helpful.

Instagrammers you should follow, In This House of Brede, and a few other bits and bobs

1 - I heard this song on Lark Rise to Candleford, hunted it down, and taught it to my kids. It's a fun song to sing, though my husband thinks I'm nuts and typing it all out makes me feel really lame.


2 - Two years ago this August I ran a series called Instagrammers You Should Follow and highlighted the IG account of Anna Hatke. If you didn't begin following her then you really should now. Each summer she and her girls return to the storybook Italian village where her family's roots are. Sometimes her husband, author and illustrator Ben Hatke, comes too but this year it's just the ladies. And the pictures are gorgeous and magical. Follow her.


3 - And while you're over in Instagram land, I am also going to recommend you follow my friend Shana. She's just a mom and a wife and a woman who loves Jesus. She also happens to have a great sense of humor.

The funny thing is I never knew Shana before but I knew OF Shana. She was like a legend, a demi goddess. In high school one of my best friends was LB. Her older sister's best friend was Sarah. Sarah mentored LB and me a bit through a Christian youth program and we both thought Sarah was so cool. Shana is Sarah's older sister and everyone thought Shana was outrageous and amazing and the. coolest. person. ever. Ever.

So enough about 16 year old Bonnie and 21(?) year old Shana. She's pregnant and funny and lovely and real now. You can follow her here.


4 - A few months ago a friend mentioned a brush to me and encouraged me to buy one off Amazon. "It's great for detangling wet hair," she said, and I will admit I did not believe her. I think she sensed that so she bought one for me and she was 100% correct. The Wet Brush is fabulous. It's not as great on dry hair, or at least not on my dry hair, but on wet hair it is better than the combs or picks I had been using. I love it for me and my girls. (That's an affiliate link above so if you click through and buy one I'll get a small kick back at no charge to you.)

 5 - Last night I stayed up until midnight so I could finish the book In This House of Brede. I enjoyed reading the novel tremendously and I sorta saw the end coming but when it got there I was... disappointed. Now let me do my best River Song impression:

Spoilers. ;)

I'm assuming that if you're still reading this take you have already read the book and so I won't be ruining the ending for anyone. So here goes: They get on a plane?! That's how it ends?! With them getting on a plane?! No. (head shake) No. (head shake)  No. (head shake)

I think I wanted to see them there, in Japan. I wanted it to end with Phillipa looking out into the Japanese gardens or something. Maybe that would be tidy, but it felt tidy having Penny and Donald there watching them board. And I don't really understand why McTurk went with them. hmmm... If you've read it what do you think?

PS - I did love Cecily and how she made her choice and how her prayer was answered. That was wonderful.

6 - One week from today I'll be leading a Blessed Is She workshop on Building Intentional Community. I'll be sharing what I've learned from leading, founding, attending, and belonging to various groups, ministries, and gatherings over the years. Personally, I found it to be difficult to find where I fit in as an adult and while I definitely haven't figured it all out I have gotten some things right while learning from few mistakes I've made along the way.

I think this workshop will be really useful if you are looking to join or form a ministry / book club / mom group / young adult group OR if you are already actively involved in one. If you signed up for the BIS Membership you will already have access to the workshop but if you aren't a member you can still watch. To sign up for the Membership click here or to pay the $15 and sign up for the workshop click here.

7 - Finally, I wish I could hug the world. The refugees, the LBGT community, the black community, police officers, and now the people of Nice, France. How can such a beautiful world have so much pain and ugliness? I don't have any answers but I promise that I am trying to become a better person and I'm trying to raise my children to be good people - the kind who fight for justice, who stand up and speak up, who are merciful and loving. And in the meanwhile I am praying with my very heavy heart.
Jesus, I trust in You. Come, Lord Jesus.+

Member Access with Blessed Is She

Work it. That's what's coming next for Blessed Is She. Or, more specifically: workshops.

You might have caught the online workshop BIS hosted with guest speaker Haley Stewart on Living Liturgically for the Uncrafty, Busy Family. I watched it live and loved being a part of the conversation while learning from my friend. And I have good news: more are coming! And they're coming in a really amazing way.

In order to really offer the growing, blooming, thriving BIS community more, Blessed Is She is taking an exciting step and offering regularly scheduled workshops, available through Member Access. Members will have special access to monthly online workshops hosted by speakers from around the country + exclusive companion worksheets + Advent and Lenten journals automatically shipped to their homes.

The BIS Member Access is all available for $9.99 / month or $99 / year.

Hopefully you are one of the 12,000 women who, every day, receives an email with the day's Mass readings and a corresponding devotion through Blessed Is She. Hopefully you are already engaged in the Facebook regional groups where we pray for one another, plan meet-ups, and chat about books, vocations, kids, and life. Hopefully you are following BIS on Instagram and Twitter so your feeds have beauty, truth, and love in them. All of that, sisters - all of it! - has been freely given with great quality.

I know that the $10 a month fee might be hard to fit in some of your budgets (remember my chai tea?) and I do want to acknowledge that. But I also want to say that the price is beyond fair and will help to "keep the lights on" for all the other parts of the BIS ministry that are 100% free. So I hope you can make it work for you, especially because...

I'll be teaching the next workshop - the very first one to be offered to our Members!

Mark your calendars, sign up for your Member Access, and join me Friday, July 22nd at 9pm EST for a workshop on Building Intentional Community.

Wahooooo!

Find Me Here:

I am super busy in the details of this weekend's conference but I did want to pop in and let you all know that yesterday I was at Blessed Is She with the devotional. Here's a glimpse at it:

Today’s Gospel shares a good litmus test for prophets and, I think, friends.

What does a friendship bearing good fruit look like? Well, it should be rich with the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. (Gal 5:22)

Love: Are our friends willing and able to hope all things and endure all things for our sake, and are we willing and able to do the same? (1 Cor 13:7) Do we want the best for each other, and help one another find God’s will in our lives?

You can read the rest here.


Then today I am guest posting at my dear friend Katie's blog, Look to Him and Be Radiant. She is running a week-long series on why it's important to make things beautiful and she asked me to write about why I decorate my home for holidays and holy days. Here's a snippet:

Why do I do it? For three reasons. First, because decorations are a simple way that I can bring the rhythm of the Church's liturgical year into our home. This is helpful for me as a mom - the decorations add an extra emphasis on what we are celebrating or why we are fasting. They are a sort of visual aid for my children as I teach them about saints, Jesus' love for us, doctrines of our faith, and the culture of our catholic Catholic church. But really it's not just for the kids - even as a 34 year old woman I find it much easier to enter into the liturgical seasons, the feasting and the fasting, if I am reminded of them by my surroundings.

You can read the rest here.


This weekend I'll be on Instagram taking pictures of the conference - which you can follow with the hashtag #findingyourfiatconference. I may even pop in on Facebook and share some live videos.

Two of My Favorite Ways to Pray

If you read the daily devotions from Blessed Is She than you might have already seen me over there today. In reading today's Gospel I was reminded of one of my favorite ways to pray - simple but powerful - and since it was a tip I didn't receive until later in life I wanted to be sure to pass it on. 

Catholic vocab lesson: an “aspiration” is a short prayer, a one liner that says it all without many words.

“I do believe, help my unbelief,” is one such aspiration. The father in today’s Gospel called it out to Jesus in desperation and, truthfully, it is one of my favorite lines of Scripture. I can relate to the sentiment strongly—a prayer asking God to fill in the gaps—and I pray it often, especially when I am struggling with Church teaching. “Lord I believe, help my unbelief.”

You can read the rest here. If you've never used aspirations before I really encourage you to give them a try. I find that having the words written in my heart helps me to pray when I don't know how to pray.


And then there is something else I love: praying with other women of faith. I don't mean praying with holy rollers, or spotless and perfect women, or other youngish moms who meet a certain standard of being good enough. I mean that I love praying with a group of women who are real. Women who believe and who love God and sometimes are really struggling. Cross-carrying, doing-their-best, open-hearted women - that's what I mean.

If that's you then I hope you will be able to join a group of us this June at the Finding Your Fiat Conference. The conference is not a way for any of us to get rich - it really is just an opportunity to for women to get together so we can be encouraged and inspired, so we can love and worship God together, and so we can enjoy each other's companionship.

We are nearing capacity but there are still tickets available. (You can buy yours here.) AND there is still the opportunity for you to win one of TWO FREE tickets to the Finding Your Fiat Conference! The giveaway ends tomorrow night at midnight! Hustle over and enter! 

The Assumption and some great milestones

Let's start off with one of my favorite Marian songs, courtesy of JJ Heller. Or as Sebastian says in The Little Mermaid: moooood music.



Today is the Feast of the Assumption of Mary. It's the day we Catholics honor Mary's special relationship with Christ and our belief that God preserved her from sin and therefore brought to Heaven body and soul at her death.

When I think of Mary I prefer to think of her as the mother of a grown Son. As I wrote once, "I like to think of her, Jesus and the apostles sitting around and she's telling them stories of the days in Egypt. Of the goodness of her husband. Of what it was like when the angel came to her. Of her three months with Elizabeth. I think that by the time she was standing at the foot of the cross she wasn't as thin as she had been in youth, though she was solid and strong. Her hands and face weren't as firm and wrinkle free. This is the woman I turn to for help in prayers."

Beyond just being a wonderful feast day, there's also some great things happening with two ministries I love (and I'm a part of).

One year ago today Blessed Is She launched and it's been such an answer to prayers for me: a daily devotional that is written by Catholic women for Catholic women. That's not fluff. That's not heretical. That's well done. Praised be Jesus! For example, here's today's devotion.

There's even a sweet giveaway happening over at the Blessed Is She site in honor of the celebration.

Additionally, The Visitation Project now has it's own website, thanks to your generosity. Coming very soon will be a newsletter for our listeners, special exclusives, and aired episodes available on iTunes.

Thank you to everyone has supported BIS and TVP over the last months.

Now go eat some blue jello with marshmallows or whipped cream (like a sky, get it?)!

Happy Feast Day!

A little catch up 7QT

Linking up with Kelly because she's the best.


1 - This song is on repeat at my house. Travis is not amused, but also can relate. Except I always went to Perkins with my friends - no Waffle House in Central Illinois.


2 - Thank you to everyone who came by last week and joined the link-up. It was so great having you here! I'm way behind on visiting all the blogs who linked up, but I will visit! Promise.

And thank you, too, for all the congratulations on the new baby. We really appreciate your prayers and your joy in our growing family.


3 - The good news is that my morning sickness has really backed off a bunch. I still have some crazy food aversions that suddenly jump start morning sickness-like feelings but that just makes me think I'm having a girl.

(I'm really hoping for a girl. I have a girl name all picked out. I can use those super cute, adorable clothes one more time. Travis hopes we have another girl and that she becomes a nun so he doesn't have three weddings to pay for.)


4 - I'm trying to do small things for low cost to keep me from feeling bad about the fact that I haven't been able to tackle as many things on my Summer To Do list as I had wanted. So I:

Took Teresa's dresser, moved her clothes to a cubby system that fits perfectly in her closet, and placed it under the mirror in the living room. It's supposed to have an entryway feel, which sorta works.

The top drawer currently holds swimming suits, towels, sunblock, goggles, beach towels, and swim diapers. In the winter these contents will be switched with the contents of the bottom drawer: gloves, hats, mittens, scarves, and the like.

The middle draw is where the diapers and wet wipes are kept because I no longer use a changing table - just the floor. The kids tend to wear the same pajamas and clothes until they're too dirty to be worn again. During the night the clothes are stored with the diapers, during the day the pj's are here. The living room is so much tidier because of this system!

The end table had been under the mirror, holding the book basket, but it was moved to the other end of the sofa:

From this angel it looks really full.... because it is really full. I promise things are shoved up against each other, and probably if I moved that rocking horse out it would be better, but the kids like to sit on it while they watch tv so it will stay. I do like having the end table - super handy.

The bookshelf was given a little sprucing up, and some more breathing room. I like it better this way - with empty space.

Many of the children's books that were in the living room were moved to the family room. My mom gifted me this oak bookcase, which I love and is really handsome. So far so good!

5 - I've been loving reading all the Edel posts and hearing from my friends how the conference went last weekend. When I attended Edel in Austin last summer it was such an amazing experience for me

Finding God in Shrimp and Grits
What a Great Party Can Teach You about Women in the Church
Edel is Like Fairy Dust and Other Revelations
The Edel Gathering Part I and Part II
Edel Gathering Recap
#edel15: My Family Survived on Frozen Pizza While I Ate Grits

That last link is to Kelly's blog This Ain't the Lyceum and it also includes a link-up for all the other posts. I wish everyone who wanted could have been there (I wish I could have been there!) but for various reasons it just wasn't meant to be, but I'm so happy for the women who were able to get away - who were able to dance and pray and chat and laugh and eat food they didn't prepare or have to clean up. I know Edel fills a need and I'm so grateful to God that Jen and Hallie are willing to put in all the hard work to make it happen.


6 - I picked up In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden and though I'm only 30 pages in I am really enjoying it. My friend Nancy gave me a copy, so shout out to Nancy for being so wonderful and generous!

7 - For those of us who need simpler, less expensive events, much closer to home I am so happy that Jenna, the founder and Fiat-ess of Blessed Is She has started organizing BIS Brunches. Hopefully you're already reading and finding encouragement in the daily devotionals, but did you know there are also regional Facebook groups? In them we chat, share prayer requests, discuss the devotions, and have started planning the brunches.

Right now there are brunches planned in Arizona, Illinois, Iowa, and Indiana but more are in the works. A Blessed Is She Brunch is such a great way to form community with our fellow Catholic women, and to do it in a way that is centered on Christ.