Eight Things I Have Learned on My Journey as a Creative Mom - a guest post by Laura H.

Hello.  My name is Laura and I have been friends with Bonnie since freshman year of high school.  I am filling in today while she unpacks boxes in her lovely new house.  I live in beautiful Oak Park, Illinois with my husband and our two boys, ages 11 and 8.  I’ve been a stay at home mom for the past 11 years.  That keeps me busy, of course, but I also spend a lot of time making things with my hands.  Like, obsessively.  I can't stop

 

Bonnie asked if I could share some of my experiences as a mom who is also a creator of things — quilts, embroideries, collages, all manner of various projects.  Sometimes when I am feeling extra confident I even refer to myself as an artist.



(She also asked me to include lots of pictures, so please excuse me if they seem unrelated to what I'm writing about.)



To give you a sense of where I’m coming from, I’m going to include an excerpt of a post I recently wrote on my blog Tiny Scissor Times. 

“As I kid I loved to make stuff.  I remember clearly the collage kit my parents bought for me, and how I treasured every feather, every pouch of glitter, every piece of alphabet pasta within.  I remember making crafts at every birthday party (thanks, Mom), and trying my hand at clay sculptures both at school and at home.  In high school, I made zines.  The writing was part of my creative outlet, but the collages that covered the pages were always my favorite bit, the part I felt proudest of.  When I went to college, creativity took a backseat to school.  My grandma taught me to knit, but it didn't stick.  I soon forgot how to do it, and my life was full with class and friends.  Then, suddenly, I was a young mother.  My focus was completely on getting through each day with my baby alive and preferably happy.

It wasn't until Simon was maybe 3 years old that I started to make things again.  I started making little collages and putting them on cards.  I was doing a little painting and decoupaging of various wooden objects.  When we moved to Bloomington in 2006, I had more space to store supplies and more room to work.  An oversized desk in the corner became my creative space, and I spent many happy hours there while my little ones napped.  I started repainting and decoupaging child-sized chairs, and making magnets and assemblage pieces to sell in an Etsy shop.  I taught myself to embroider around the same time.

A couple of years later we moved again and had even more space.  I had a whole room (!!!) that was designated as my creative space.  Oh, how I loved that room.  And I began spending more and more time there.  As the boys were getting older and more independent, better at entertaining themselves, entering kindergarten and pre-school, I spent every moment I could steal in that room.  Working on more chairs, freezer paper stenciled shirts for the boys, ever more ambitious embroidery projects, and finally, teaching myself to quilt.”

Now you know a little about me.  I am going to share with you the 8 things I have learned as a highly creative mother, and that I think you should know if you are a parent who is similarly inclined to create:


 

This is a special thing.  A gift.

You probably realize not everyone has a drive to create like you do.  You might get comments like, “you’re so crafty!” or “I don’t have a creative bone in my body.”  While I believe that creativity can be cultivated in everyone, there is something different about people like us who seem to wake up itching to make something.  For me, creating things has always been part of my life.  I had to give it up for a few years during college and early motherhood, but it came back in a big way.  Today it’s more important to me than ever before.  Having the opportunity to stay home with the boys and let my creativity grow and bloom has made me feel confident that I have a gift.  Actually, the internet is partially responsible for that as well, because posting pictures of my creations online has resulted in such positive feedback.  Without that, I might have thought I was just playing around, just passing the time with silly crafts.  But I received so many comments on things I posted — “Wow!” “That’s amazing!” “I could never do that!” — that I eventually started to believe what they were saying.  Thanks to the kind words of friends and strangers online, I believe I have an eye for color and design.  I believe I have the patience and dexterity to make things others cannot.  I believe I have a gift, and I am grateful.  Embrace the fact that this is a special thing about you.  It will give you confidence to keep creating and trying new things.




 

There is a balance to be found.

Already in this post you have seen me use words like, “itching,” “obsessively,” and “drive.”  It’s not an exaggeration to say that I’m almost always thinking about something I want to make, or planning the next step in my current project. Hanging in my home is a poster of Jude Landry’s “Makers Gonna Make” print because it describes exactly how I feel about my creative pursuits.  I am a maker; making is what I do.  It just MUST BE.  It’s all a little compulsive, and it requires some effort to keep it in check.



If you are like me, you probably always have 10 projects in mind that you’d like to tackle, and at least four of them currently in progress.  You wake up wanting to walk straight over to your sewing machine or canvas or workbench or whatever. You sit for hours at a time working at your craft, until your back and shoulders are yelling at you, urging you to take a break.  You love what you are doing, but you push yourself too, because you want to see the project finished, or you’ve promised it to someone by a certain date, or you can’t wait to start that next masterpiece.



Here’s the thing.  You want to keep loving your craft.  You want to keep that passion.  Avoiding burnout is a good idea.  Plus you also have a life outside of creating that must be attended to from time to time.  You know, kids, housework, those little things.  Develop some strategies for keeping your creative habit thriving but under control. 





I have a few strategies that I use to this end.  One thing I do is use a timer.  If I work on cleaning the kitchen for 15 minutes, I will reward myself with 30 minutes of sewing.  Or if I have been sitting and sewing for two hours, I will force myself to get up and fold laundry for a while.  A timer is your friend.  It reminds you that you do have some other things to attend to, and helps you not to push yourself to an unhealthy degree. 





Another thing I do is pick and choose my areas of focus.  For instance, holidays are opportunities for creative people to go bananas.  You can make decorations, plan crafts to do with your kids, plan a party so all your friends can see your gorgeous decorations, try new recipes, etcetera.  The problem is, there are too many holidays in the year to give equal attention to them all.  For myself, I have decided that Halloween and Christmas are my favorites.  I put most of my efforts into those two.  And any other holiday that rolls around, I’m able to enjoy them and keep on keepin’ on, instead of breathing into a paper bag over how I don’t have time to make all the things.  I’ve also decided that even though I like Halloween, I don’t make costumes.  People might expect me to because I’m “so darn crafty.”  But I don’t.  And that’s okay.  I have let myself off the hook with that one.  Store bought costumes are okay.  So are store bought Valentines.  I guess what I’m trying to say is I can’t do it all and neither can you.  Find a way to seek balance.  Don’t lose your passion due to burn out, and don’t expect yourself to jump at every opportunity to be creative.  Train yourself to take breaks and prioritize where you are going to focus your creative energies.

 



 

Housework really can wait.  But your kids can’t.

There are many times when I am sewing even though the laundry hamper is overflowing.  Or the kitchen is a mess.  Or there are collections of cat hair rolling around my house like tumbleweeds.  While I try to keep my urge to make in harmony with my responsibilities as a mother and wife, there are times when the balance skews toward MAKE.  Make wins.  But it’s okay.  Because it’s only temporary.  And I find that housework can be done in a surprisingly short amount of time.  Things can get back under control quickly if they have to.  Thankfully I have a husband who doesn’t mind the mess.  He can come home to an apartment that looks like a tornado just swept through and find me hunched over my sewing machine, headphones in, and doesn’t bat an eye. I am lucky that way, perhaps.  But I never regret time I spend creating over time I spend cleaning.  The cleaning will get done when it has to, and it won’t take that long to get things back to normal.







I do, however, sometimes regret my behavior toward my kids while I am in the midst of a creative frenzy.  My boys are growing up so fast.  I seriously cannot believe that I’m going to have a middle schooler next year.  Every year, every month, every day makes me realize how quickly this time is passing, and how soon they will be leaving home.  And I don’t want to miss any time with them because I’m too obsessed with my own projects.  I don’t have any tips for you in this regard.  I’m working on it myself.  The goal is to be mindful.  To stop and talk if they want to talk.  To not shoo anyone away because I’m working.  To sit on the couch saying nothing, just being together in the quiet of the morning, resisting the urge to get up and use these 5 minutes to sew a seam.  To realize this project CAN WAIT.  But this conversation with my boy might not ever happen if I don’t put down the scissors and listen.  If you can find a way to occasionally share your passion to create with your kids, all the better.  In the photo above, my boys and I were learning how to dye eggs with silk ties.




 

It’s okay to say no.  Actually, it’s essential.

You are going to get a reputation as a crafty or creative person.  You are going to get requests.  Some people will offer to pay you, others will expect you to work for free.  People might assume you want to be on the PTO committee for the school carnival because you like to make decorations for your kids’ birthday parties, so you seem an obvious choice to help with that event.  It’s not a bad thing that these people see your talent and appreciate it.  It’s flattering, it’s wonderful.  In my case, such people are why I feel so sure I have a gift now. They convinced me.  I am grateful and humbled that people want to pick my brain for ideas or use my talents for their charitable projects.  Sometimes I can help out and I do.  Other times I have to say no.  Many times, in fact.  And I don’t feel guilty.  Creative people make things.  That’s what we do.  And we need time to do it.  We won’t have that time if we are always agreeing to design a logo for someone’s fledgling business or organize the class party.  For a more eloquent explanation of why you must learn to say no, read this.  Practice saying No.  It gets easier, I promise. 





Theme birthday parties will consume you.

Just over a week ago I threw a cat-themed party for my son.  It was the most fun I’ve had in a while, and when it was over I needed a vacation.  Or at least a long nap.  Birthday parties are similar to holidays for creative parents, in that we can get carried away with all the possibilities.  Especially if your kid is currently into something you really like.  For me, a request for a Pokemon party wasn’t inspiring, and I managed to avoid that one.  I think I convinced him laser tag would be better.  The parties that made me lose my mind because of potential awesomeness: dinosaurs (pre-blog days), Harry Potter, Calvin and Hobbes, Dr Who, and cats.  My advice on the party planning front: try to alternate years.  One epic theme party, one easy store-bought or bowling alley party, repeat.  If it is time for a theme party, be prepared to lose a week or two of your life to manic party prep.  Also when you get up on the morning of the party and you still have 20 things on your to-do list and two hours before 12 children descend onto the premises, just smile, and know that your kid will have fun even if the streamers aren’t perfect or the cake is totally lopsided.  Make sure you are having fun with it too.



Making the same thing over and over is not necessarily the best idea.

When you make beautiful or cute things, people will say, “You should sell that!  You could have your own business!”  This might sound like a great plan — a way to do what you love and make some money and maybe even a career.  And don’t get me wrong — for some people it is.  I always admire those makers who are able to forge a career out of their talent.  Just be aware that much of your making time will morph into business, inventory, networking, and hustling time.  For me this sacrifice was too dear.  I opened an etsy shop to sell cute stenciled onesies (or, ahem, bodysuits, pardon me, Gerber corporation) a few years ago.  It started off as something fun and mildly creative.  I got a kick out of thinking of different funny slogans for babies, and as my products started to sell, it was definitely exciting.  I ended up having a best selling item.  People wanted that and nothing else.  It seemed silly to keep thinking of new sayings that would then sit in my shop, not selling, so that portion of the fun was basically over.   Then I had to deal with the heartbreaking phenomenon of copycats, which I think is probably inevitable for any popular product on the internet.  The main issue was that the shop was keeping me too busy to work on any other creative endeavors.  I was making the same product, by hand, over and over.  It was no longer a creative project.  It was a tedious task.  I felt like I had become a one-woman factory, and the charm was wearing off fast.  After trying a few different ways to make my process more efficient, less soul-sucking, I decided to sell off my remaining stock and close up shop.  It’s not that I don’t think people should ever try for a handmade based business.  However, I do think you should go into it with your eyes open.  Be prepared to have less time to actually create, and less freedom to create exactly what you want to.  For some, it might be totally worth the trade off.  For me, giving it up feels amazing.  Now please go buy the rest of my adorable onesies so I can be done for real.







People might love your work but not appreciate its value.  That’s why you need to.

That being said, if you do decide to sell your unique, handmade items, don’t sell yourself short.  Give yourself a fair hourly wage, and don’t forget your material costs. 
People might love your work but balk at your prices.  But that doesn’t mean you’re wrong.  As a quilter, this post by Molli Sparkles resonated with me. Need more convincing?  Here are a few more articles, about quilting and also other art forms. I really believe that people should not sell their handmade goods at basement bargain prices.  It misrepresents the time and talent involved.  If you can find the right audience, I believe they will pay you what your work is worth.  If that is proving hard (and I think it is for most of us), don’t fret, and don’t compromise.  Think instead about selling your ideas.  You could draft patterns or tutorials and sell access to the pdf’s; you could work on a book.  Neither path is easy.  Find what works for you, whether you want to sell your physical work or your brilliant ideas.  (Of course, you might be perfectly happy creating for yourself, with no hopes of making money.  There is nothing wrong with being a hobbyist or a passionate artist who happens never to sell any of her work).  This is a complicated issue, with too many tendrils of thought and argument to sum up here.  Just remember not everyone can do what you do.  Don’t undervalue your unique work.  And remember that if you get money involved you’re going to have to be intentional and diligent to keep loving your craft.  I like this song by Sam Smith.   You might want to sing it while you make whatever you make.





I'm still trying to figure out what to do, in this regard.  I'm thinking about getting a job now that my kids are getting older, but I don't have a career to return to.  I might try to make a go of it in the world of creative entrepreneurialism.  But it's scary because there is no set path.  I'd be making it up as I went along.  The only thing I know for sure is that I won't be selling my wares for less than they are actually worth.  If that means I'm not selling my wares at all, so be it. 





You might find yourself using the phrase, “never again.”  After a while people will start to laugh at you when you say it.

I recently finished an embroidery, a birthday gift for my 8 year old

  

As I shared pictures on instagram, people would compliment me, and I would say, “Thanks, I’m happy with how it’s turning out but I’m NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN.” It was by far the most dense, most detailed embroidery piece I have ever done, and at the time it felt intense and crazy, especially since I was working under a deadline, trying to have it done in time for his birthday.  When Bonnie emailed me and asked me to write this guest post, she reminded me that I said the same thing about this wedding gift I finished for her in 2007, my second ever embroidery.  I didn’t recall saying that to her at all. 





I know that my husband will insist that I say "Never again," after every big birthday party I throw, but I am skeptical.   I guess it’s like childbirth.  Give it enough time, and you’re rarin’ to go again.







Even though this is the Moby Dick of blog posts, I feel like I've just scratched the surface of what it means to be a creative woman and mother, finding her way in the world.  There is a lot to consider, a lot to try, and a lot to enjoy.  Thank you for coming with me as I share what I have learned so far.




If you want to check in on my adventures in motherhood and creativity, you can follow my blog.  Or follow me on instagram, where I share lots of pictures of current projects, my kids, and my cats.

The Hard Decision of Public Over Parochial - a guest post by Michelle Hughes

Recently, we decided that our children will attend public high school. We’d been discerning diligently for the past 7-8 months, but the hope of providing Catholic high school education to our children had been on our minds for even longer than that. There were many things we considered as we discerned. I’ve been able to compartmentalize them into three main categories: the expense; the extra-curricular opportunities (sports, clubs, etc); and the environment (Catholic and otherwise). Our comfort levels with different aspects of all of those were based on our experiences. Craig attended Catholic school all the way through high school. I attended Catholic school from grades 1 through 8. After that, I attended public high school.

For the purposes of this post, I am going to focus on the financial expense of providing a Catholic high school education. It seems, unfortunately, that Catholic high schools in most of our country have gone the way of being “Private Schools with Mass.” The tuition to attend the Catholic high school in my area is pretty close to what it costs to attend any other private high school in our city. It might be a little less expensive (by $1000-2000) but when you’re talking $10-12,000 per year, that’s not that much of a discount. Many families like mine - those who have accepted alarger-than-average amount of children, often expand the family beyond theability to provide Catholic education through high school. I’m not even going
to touch the college expense. My kids will know from the get-go that paying for college will be largely on them.

To hear many Church leaders (Priests, Bishops, etc) speak, you would think that the Catholic Church wants to provide a Catholic education to anyone who wants it. And I do think the desire is there. The problem is that a Catholic education is exclusive to those who can afford it, and sadly, many families cannot justify $10,000+/year tuition for four years for each kid in high school for a family the size of mine. I also know of families smaller than mine, for whom the Catholic education is out of reach. I know of families larger than mine that make it work, too. I think that’s great and God has blessed them abundantly for their sacrifice.

Our diocese is building a new Catholic high school about an hour southeast of where I live. I signed up to contribute to this effort. I made a 3-year-commitment of 1% of our take-home pay for this campaign. At the time, we were still thinking that our kids could perhaps attend Catholic high school. But now that the decision has been made to send them to public school, I can’t help but note the irony that I am helping pay for a new Catholic high school to which I can’t even afford to send my kids.

There has been much said to me and around me about the financial assistance available for Catholic high school, but the reality of the matter seems to be that there just isn’t that much to go around to everyone who needs it. Even if the first year was made doable, the following years could crush us financially, and once your kid has started going somewhere for high school, you really don’t want to move them, so we’d be stuck if we started…at least for our oldest. I’ve heard that endowments for the private schools in our city are much bigger than what is available at the local Catholic high school, which only puts added pressure on the finances (of both school and families).

One of the most familiar commentaries I have heard from older parishioners who have already put their children through Catholic high school is that it was worth the sacrifice. I have no doubt that if I were able to sacrifice a reasonable amount without hurting my family in the process, I
would also find the sacrifice to be worth it, edifying even. I understand that the people who encourage me to send my children to Catholic high school and “trust God” and that “it is all worth the sacrifice” mean well. For them, the sacrifice was doable. I don’t know what most people make, what their financial commitments are outside of Catholic high school tuition and all that stuff. Therefore, I can’t give an opinion on whether the sacrifice they made and what would be required of me would be similar or not. I can only speak to our situation and believe me when I tell you that the amount of money I was putting away simply for Catholic High school was preventing Club volleyball, guitar lessons, ballet, among other activities that I had wanted to provide my kids. I was looking down the road and seeing 16 years of nothing outside of school-related activities and tuition in the budget and I was getting down about not being able to provide some experiences for my kids that I think are important to their growth.

An additional consideration for a family like mine might be that we’d be able to provide Catholic high school for one, but not all of our children. Saving the money I was to put towards tuition - for as long as I was looking at having to do that - was putting our family into a delicate position should a job loss occur or any instance that could happen causing either my husband or me to be without an income for any period of time. I’m talking - beyond the emergency savings - how could we continue to provide this if some tragedy befell our family? And even if no tragedy befell us, but life happened and the amount we’d saved couldn’t measure up to what was required - what if we faced the possibility that our children could not continue at the Catholic high school and we provided for one and couldn’t provide for all? Plus we have spaced our children to the extent that we will be paying for preschool for our youngest during our oldest child’s first two years of high school. Preschool is a necessity for us as it doubles as our childcare; our daily childcare expense won’t diminish until our youngest enters Kindergarten.

The balance in these things is critical in our relationship as a family, I think. Rather than face the insecurity of being unable to provide this for all five of our living children, it seemed the more prudent approach to continue to save the money knowing it could help provide things like Club volleyball, Swim team, music lessons, tennis lessons, and other extra-curricular activities that will provide value down the line. It seems more prudent knowing that money will be available to buy a new-to-us car if the time comes, without taking on the burden of payments. Perhaps we will pre-pay preschool tuition to get a discount. Perhaps the next round of orthodontic treatment won’t be such a hassle.

Once the decision was made, a huge load was lifted from my chest. Yes, sadness prevailed for a little bit. It’s hard to admit that you can’t provide your kids with their desires. And the disappointment in the fact that the Catholic Church can’t fulfill her desire to educate all those who would want to come to a Catholic school is still there.

Did the Catholic Church intend to go down this route? I doubt it. The reality of the situation is that Catholic schools are no longer run by Religious (nuns or priests). Paying competitive salaries (and benefits!) for laypeople as teachers and administrators has driven the cost to the point that it is difficult to see a difference between a Catholic school and a private school. The main difference being that at a Catholic school, religion class is a requirement, a chapel/place for daily prayer is available and Mass happens on at least a semi-regular basis. Add to that the fact that Catholics in this country do not support the Church to the level required to provide a Catholic education to all. And - to be fair - most Catholics who are paying tuition to the rate of $10,000/year/kid feel the obligation to pay that and probably believe this IS their financial support for the Church. I know that if I were to pay tuition for Catholic high school, my “first fruits” contribution would most likely have to diminish to cover the cost. Obviously, that’s backwards because it turns my “first fruits” contribution into something else.

I do think something should be figured out. I think there is  something wrong when a Church encourages the faithful to be generous an embrace new life into their marriages, but then shuts the door on those families when it comes to education. I know parents are the primary educators of children. Parents should not drop the kids off at the door of the Catholic school expecting all the magic to happen there, and at the end of 12 years, POOF! a well-formed Catholic with brains to match magically appears. But I also recognize my Church’s call to support Catholic education in all ways, including financial. A little more financial support as well as a bit of emotional and spiritual support from the Church with regard to this issue would be most appreciated.

Michelle is a Catholic, wife and work-outside-the-home mom five children on earth (+1 in heaven). She enjoys exercising (especially Crossfit), reading (especially thriller/mystery type novels), playing with the kids and an occasional date night with her husband, particularly those which include a Margarita. She enjoys blogging (in her "free" time) at Endless Strength about daily life, Catholic and motherly reflections, and weight loss. You can follow her on Instagram or Twitter (both handles are @michellephughes) or "Like" her Endless Strength Facebook page.

An interview with Kenny Hensley, pianist for The Head and the Heart - a guest post by Blythe Fike

When I volunteered to guest post for Bonnie about 17 years ago my mind immediately flew to what we have in common. Faith, yes. Womanhood, yes. Wife, mom, yes. But the most standout similarities that Bonnie and I share are about music. And more than just music, because some of the music Bonnie likes the most just so happens to be music I know the most. (Like really, really know the most.)

See, when I first chatted with Bonnie she linked me to this. Which cracked me up because 1/6 of that is my very own little brother. His name is Kenny, and he plays the piano. What better material for my little guest post on Bonnie's blog than a terrible, non-professional interview with a musician in one of her favorite bands who is also and more importantly my brother. It's brilliant!

(And long. And fairly pointless. And I am most definitely a terrible interviewer. Brace yourselves.)

-----------------------------/////--//-/-/---/-

Hello?
Hey.


You ready?
Yeeeeeaup.


Ok, what's your full name?
Kenny Joseph Hensley.


What's your earliest memory?
Uh, you know this one already.


I know, I'm setting you up in most of these questions because I know the answers but other people don't.
My earliest memory, which no one believes, is being born.

(Laughing like I always do bc how could you not?)


You remember being born? 
Yeah. I totally do. My earliest memory is going from darkness to light and being shocked... being in a weird state of shock. I have memories of being one and two, sitting in carseats and drinking out of bottles and this is definitely before that. I've read that there are a lot of people that claim to have the same memory and it's all described as the same thing. That's what I believe it is.


What's your favorite dessert? (good transition question)
Peanut Butter Pizookie from BJ's.


If you were going to buy a candy, which candy would you buy?
It depends. I like Paydays and Baby Ruths, but I also like the chewy Sweet Tarts. The wafers.


If you could tell people to buy one record, what would it be?
Abbey Road, the Beatles. (mumbles "weirdest questions ever")


What is your most favorite thing about what you do for a living?
I think the feeling we get as a group when we've finished a song, and we all agree on it and really like it. That's the best feeling. But it's not as common as other things, because it's not happening all the time. But that feeling is the best. To create something, and all be able to share it, and love it equally.

photo cred: Noel Alvarenga

What's your least favorite thing about what you do for a living?
Being away from home most of the time. Not being able to settle into real life because I'm gone so much and feeling out of the loop because so much has happened while I was gone. So, I always feel like I'm just visiting when I am home.


That's sad!
Yep. ( :( )


Speaking of sadness, is there one movie that's made you cry the most?
Probably Life is Beautiful. It's the best. (it is!)


How often to do you change your socks? 
I change my socks most days...


Oh, nice! Wow. That's good. That seems like an improvement.
Now...


Now. You added a "now."
Yeah. I'm much better now because I've done it enough. Now, I pack a ton of socks and underwear but early on, before I was a pro, I would always run out of socks. So, I started this thing for a little while, which I think Josiah still does, where I would just buy two or three packs of socks and wear them and just throw them away. Because I had no room for all these dirty socks, and it was just a mess, and I figured if you buy cheap socks it wasn't that big of a deal. I did that for a little while but now I'm better about it. I just bring some plastic bags and throw my dirty laundry in 'em.

That's good. That's a smart move to just actually do your laundry.
Well, what I have been getting into lately is just going to a laundromat and dropping it off. I realized it's actually pretty cheap. You can get your laundry done for, like, twelve bucks. And it's all nice and folded and separated for you. All you have to do is go and pick it up.


That's pretty good. You know more about that than I do, which is weird. OK, moving on. Who do you think is more famous: you or me?
Me.


Ha! Brat. 
If I didn't marry Kirby which celebrity would you match me with?
Hmmm, that's a tough one. I'm trying to think of someone funny... I don't know. There is just too many celebrities.


Fine, don't answer it. Who do you like more, me or Kirby?
Well, you're my sister so of course I have to say you. But Kirby is a guy and... brotherly like... so


Brotherly like??
Yeah, he is kind of like an older brother that I never had. I don't know. I love both of you.


Do you have any tattoos?
Yeah, one. It's my friend Joe's name on my thigh. It is my handwriting, his name and an exclamation point. I got it for him as a wedding gift. He has a lot of tattoos and he always gave me crap for not having any.

Did you get me a wedding present?
(laughing) Did I?


No. I'm just wondering if you knew you didn't get me a wedding present.
How old was I? I was, like, 17.


That seems irrelevant.
Kirby got me a present for your wedding. He got me a fifty dollar gift certificate to Game Stop.


That's pretty bogus.
I had to have done something. At least a sentimental card or letter or something.


I WROTE YOU A LETTER!
Oh man, you're right. I got everything at your wedding. You should get married again.


Well, maybe if you had a celebrity to match me with I could.
You know, the worst thing about that question... and I don't think this means anything, but I keep thinking of actors I don't like (laughter). And this is really weird, and I don't know why, but the face that keeps popping back into my head is Paul Walker. I just keep seeing his face, over and over. I don't know why. (RIP, PW)


Ok, thanks, I guess...
You're playing the Hollywood Bowl in August. Are you excited about that?
Yeah! I'm really excited about that. We are playing the Hollywood Bowl and Red Rocks, back to back. Two venues the Beatles played! (He likes the Beatles)

photo cred: Noel Alvarenga

And Paul McCartney is playing in L.A. the same night as you.
Yeaaaaahh. That's a bummer.


Ok, when are you coming home?
To L.A.? Mid-July.


Yay! Did you see my blog post about my new couch?
No.


Well, do you want our old couch? It's in the alley right now.
No, what am I going to do with it?


Good question. Do you want to buy a very large rug off of me?
No.


Ok. Do you care if I take creative license with this interview?
Sure, go for it.


Ok, thank you. That's it!
That's it? Cool. That was like twenty questions or something.

(For a more thoughtful, reflective post on my brother go here. To find out when he is playing near you go here!)

Mom Style: How to Get Started - a guest post by Rosie Hill

Earlier this week, I stumbled upon this old Like Mother, Like Daughter post:  Five steps to feeling pretty after the baby.

And I immediately thought of Emily's recent post on the challenges of being a stay-at-home mom, where she lamented the fact that there's no reason to wear heels, and wearing "good" clothes is just asking for disaster to strike! 

And that, of course, reminded me of an old post of Jennifer Fulwiler's: The Apron: The Ultimate Symbol of a Culture of Life

I thought about how I've come to embrace dressing in skirts and dresses daily, and making an effort to put on makeup, and just how long it took me to realize that just because it's comfortable to wear yoga pants or leggings all day long doesn't mean that we're doing anyone a service by wearing that as a "mom uniform" (beyond those stages when anything goes - certain stages of pregnancy, post-partum, etc.).

So can we discuss some practical ways to make the switch from loungewear to real clothing?  After 3 pregnancies, I think that I've got this figured out to a certain extent - if I can get dressed and put on makeup every morning even with four young children underfoot, you can too!


1.  Clean out your closet!
Let's say you're making the switch from working mom to stay-at-home mom, and you just no longer have the need for all those skirts in suiting fabrics, or maybe those tailored button-down shirts have no hope of ever fastening over your new, more womanly figure. 

It's so hard to get rid of them.  After all, maybe you'll go back to work?  Or maybe they'll fit again once your baby is done nursing?  But I'll give you this advice:  Take stock of how your bones have moved - if it's just fat stores that are preventing certain clothing items from fitting and you can't bear to part from them, stick them in the back of the closet and try them on again in a few months.  But if your ribcage has expanded as much as mine has, you're going to have to face it:

There are some dresses you have that will never zip again.  And you don't need to keep them.

Donate them to the local thrift store, take them to a consignment shop, or try selling the nicer items to an online consignment store like Twice or ThredUp ($10 off if you sign up through my link!).  Just because it's in perfectly good condition doesn't mean that it has to stay in your closet - it's just taking up space and serving as a depressing reminder of how you used to look!


2.  Build a transitional wardrobe!
Let's just assume you're like me - you're pretty much constantly either pregnant or nursing.  It's almost impossible to keep up with the 12 different wardrobes you have - "normal" clothes that you're saving for when you're not pregnant or nursing (ha!), early pregnancy clothes, mid-late pregnancy clothes, larger post-partum clothes, post-partum clothes closer to your regular size, and all these things to fit different seasons!

What you need is to start shopping with this in mind:

- Is it nursing-friendly?

For me, it's just not worth buying if it's not nursing-friendly, because I'll never wear it. 

- Can I wear it for multiple stages?

Does it work for early pregnancy AND the post-partum stage?  Can you wear it all the way through a pregnancy?  Or will it only fit for those 6 weeks when I've lost all the pregnancy weight but haven't gotten pregnant again?

A slouchy sweater can easily disguise a pregnancy in the first trimester, disguise a post-partum pooch for any length of time, and is still big enough to fit a large pregnant belly - get one!

Other excellent transitional pieces:  Maxi dresses and skirts, high-waisted skirts, empire-waisted dresses that don't make you look pregnant just because you have a tiny pooch, cardigans of all shapes and sizes...

3.  Know your measurements!
Okay, your measurements might be changing constantly.  Mine sure are!  But I find that my natural waist returns to normal fairly quickly, so focusing on clothes that fit around the ribs and natural waist means I can get back in my "normal" clothes and stretch them into maternity more easily. 

AND knowing your measurements means that the inevitable online shopping will go a lot better - not every brand runs true-to-size, but you need to stop guessing, and measurements are the surest way! 

Get yourself a tape measure - my favorite is this MyoTape:




Tape Measure


One reason I love Twice so much is that they take measurements of all their clothing so that you have a much better chance a good fit.


4.  Build up your staples!
A denim skirt.  A shirt dress.  A wrap dress.  A maxi dress.  You know what you need to build a wardrobe that fits your personal style - find something that's good quality, not too fussy to wash, and can be used in multiple seasons.

My favorite maxi dress in the fall

And in the spring

Check out eShakti for awesome vintage-style basics, and get $35 off your first purchase if you're a new customer - just use my referral code!


5.  Accessorize!

Let's take this eShakti dress that could easy work in early pregnancy (that's me relaxing my stomach muscles.  I'm not pregnant.  Yikes.)

See, it hides the bump as long as you're not trying to accentuate it!

But the belt really helps the look.

Belt it, knot the shirt, add a scarf...  A few scarves are a fabulous addition to a mom wardrobe, since you can cover that newfound cleavage, have a makeshift nursing cover, a drool/burp rag, etc.

Go from this:

To this:

6.  Shoes matter, too!

I was scared of heels for quite some time after I had John Paul - my feet had grown and none of my old shoes fit, and those heels just weren't very comfortable anymore...

But there's so much more to shoes than my old staple pointed-toe pumps!  Wedges can be VERY comfortable, and add a bit more of a "grown-up" feel than sandals.  And if you're going to wear sandals, find something a little nicer than my old staple Old Navy flip flops, because I guarantee you that's what all the local middle school girls will be wearing!

See if you can find a good boot that you can dress up and down, a comfy flat that you can walk in, and whatever else you might think is worth buying. 

 

7.  Whatever happens, don't be afraid to return it!

If it doesn't fit, find time to go to the post office (or schedule a pickup, they DO that now and you can just leave it on your porch!) or the store and return it.  Do not leave that ill-fitting sweater in your closet just because you're too lazy to send it back (am I the only one who has done that?).

Are you ready?  It's time to stop being afraid to wear anything nice just because it might get dirty - clothes are meant to be worn!  Grab a few cute aprons (I wear one almost all day long when I'm at home...) to protect yourself from the inevitable, and get ready to look fabulous enough every day that you actually want to leave the house!



Rosie is a wife, music teacher, and Catholic mom of four (soon to be five) kids under the age of 5.  She started blogging so her mom would stop emailing her so much, and eventually decided that other people might also be interested in the funny things her kids say and outfits that maybe don't look awful.  You can read more about her family at a blog for my mom.

Catholic in Canada - a guest post by Melody Mercer

Thanks so much for having me Bonnie! Though I'll admit I was a bit nervous about writing something on Canada. First I definitely considered: Ten Ridiculous Things Canadians Do or Why Canadians Are Awesome but I want you to like me so we'll just save those for another time. So instead, I'm going to tell you about some awesome Catholic things about Canada!

A few facts (from the Canadian Conference of Bishops): 

• The majority of Canadians identify themselves as Catholic.
• The highest concentration of Catholics is in Quebec.
• There are 61 dioceses in Canada (under a Bishop or Archbishop).
• he first mass celebrated on what was to become Canadian soil was on July 7th 1534.
• The first Canadian (possibly first North American) Bishop was Francois de Laval.
• The first Pope to visit Canada was Pope John Paul II in 1984. He returned again in 1987 (to visit one town which weather had prevented him from visiting in 1984) and for World Youth Day in 2002.

Canada has some beautiful shrines and I've been lucky enough to go to a couple of them.  There are 5 shrines recognized by the Canadian Conference of Bishop as National Shrines:

St. Joseph's Oratory

Montreal, Quebec

Source

Founded by Saint Brother Andre in 1904; his tomb is the chapel. The site draws huge crowds every year on the feast of St. Joseph, March 19th. There are many miracles and healings from Saint Joseph here. 

Saint Anne de Beaupré Basilica
Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupre, Quebec

Source

Visited by over 1.5 million people each year, this shrine to Saint Anne was established in 1658. The building has magnificent mosaics and over 240 stain glass windows depicting the life of Saint Anne.

Notre-Dame-De-Cap Shrine (Our Lady of the Cape)
Cap-de-la-Madeleine, Quebec



Source

Considered the most important shrine to Our Lady in North America and is Canada's National Marian Shrine. It was inaugurated in 1964, however, its roots date back to the 17th century. Here the Brotherhood of the Rosary was formed in 1694 by Father Vachon. Several miracles by our Blessed Mother have taken place here.

National Canadian Martyrs Shrine
Midland, Ontario
This shrine is dedicated to the memory of the Canadian (also known as the North American) Martyrs, a group of 8 Jesuits Saints who were missionaries in North America. 

St. Anthony's Hermitage

Lac-Bouchette, Quebec
St. Anthony's Hermitage is a pilgrimage site known for high quality and it's beautiful natural environment. It is run by the Capuchin Fathers. It was established in 1907. 

A number of Saintly men and women have shaped the Catholic Church in Canada. Until I started looking into it, I actually had no idea there were so many Canadian saints and so many blessed Canadians. Here are just a few of them:

The Canadian Martyrs - The Canadian Martyrs were a group of six Jesuit priests and two associates who worked as missionaries to the Hurons in the colonial days of New France. Having been martyred for their faith, they were canonized by Pope Pius XI on June 29, 1930. Their feast day is celebrated in Canada on September 26.

St. Marguerite Bourgeoys  - Marguerite Bourgeoys established the first school in Montreal and founded the Congregation of Notre Dame, an order of religious women, largely responsible for bringing Christian education to many areas of the New World. She worked hard to ensure the rights and welfare of women and children  and to guarantee that young people received an education. Canonized by Pope John Paul II on October 31, 1982, her feast day is celebrated on January 12.

Source

 St. Francois de Laval - Francois was the first bishop in Quebec and North America, and was a dedicated shepherd to his people. He founded several educational opportunities for men and priests. He was just canonized by Pope Francis in 2014 and his body rests in the Notre Dame Basilica in Old Montreal. 




Source

St.Kateri Tekawitha - The daughter of a Catholic woman and a Mohawk chief. Her parents and siblings died of smallpox when she was only 4 years old, she was left almost blind and badly scared. She got her knowledge of Christianity from the Jesuits and after her baptism at the age of 18, she lived piously and devoted her life to God. She fled for a Christian Mohawk village and there she took a vow of perpetual virginity. She died of tuberculosis at the age of 24. Witnesses claim that moments after her death, her scars disappeared. She was canonized by Pope Benedict XVI in 2012. She is the first Native American to be canonized.

St. Marguerite d'Youville - Marguerite d’Youville was instrumental in setting up hospitals in Montreal and founded the Grey Nuns (or Sisters of Charity). Her order spread across Canada, setting up hospitals. She was canonized by Pope John Paul II in 1990, her feast day is celebrated on October 16.

You can see the list of Canadian Blesseds here.

I really hope this was a great little lesson on Catholicism in Canada for you. While we have a strong Catholic presence, the majority of our Catholics are very lukewarm and do not adhere to Catholic teaching (i.e. the "Catholic" political leader, Justin Trudeau). We look at the United States and are so envious of your full churches and strong faithful but the Catholic faithful are here in Canada and we're awesome and we're turning the current tides of Catholicism in Canada and to bring us back to our roots.

I'm a newlywed to the love of my life and every day we grow more faithful and happier. I'm an NFP-advocate/instructor;  an administrative assistant by day and housewife by evening and weekend. I love beautiful things and I do my best to find them on our budget. I I'm trying my best to live naturally, environmentally and health conscious. I can be found with my nose in a book, spending too much time on pinterest or enjoying a bubble bath.

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Thank you, Melody! And sorry I'm a knucklehead and forgot your lovely headshot and bio!

 

Best of the Web - a guest post by Gina Fensterer

I've never done a "best of the web" post before, but when Bonnie was looking for guest posts and suggested it as a post option, I thought, "how fun! I can use things from Pinterest and my time-wasting moments to fill a blog! I don't have to think too hard!" which is perfect for me right now. I can't think much this week, after hours in the orthopedic office to get a cast on my Little Man, keeping up with our homeschool schedule so we can still have our summer break when planned, getting through graduation with my hubs...I've missed an appointment because my brain has been so filled with other things. Not thinking too hard about a post is ideal. Yes, I know. I stooped and lowered the bar for myself, because thinking too hard is overrated.

I think this will be a pretty good selection, though. Lots of fun, lots of yum, lots of other good stuff. Basically, the things my mind thinks about for .17 seconds before another shiny thing comes along for me to think about. It's Best of the Web from my wandering mind.

Shall we get to the list?

1. A Summer Reading List for Tweens

(note, these in my photo are just books we've read and loved, not that any are on the list. And some aren't even for tweens...but hey, that tween started with Dr. Suess, right?)

Over at my blog, Someday (hopefully) They'll Be Saints, I like to talk about books we're reading. But if you know me at all or read my bio, you'll know that I'd rather do almost anything than sit and read a book (though, I admit, that is slowly changing as I get into really good books). My 9 year old daughter reads like it's going out of style, and since I wasn't a big reader as a kid (don't get me wrong, I'm literate, just didn't read for fun), I don't know what to suggest to her, nor do I have the time to preview all kinds of current books and authors before she reads them. I would have to read 24/7 and hire a cook, house cleaner, and send all the children to school in order to keep ahead of my girl. That's why I love lists of good books for tweens.

2. Chicken and Spinach Pasta Bake

I love recipes, and I really love when they come recommended by a talented home cook. When someone I know who is an awesome cook tells me they found a good recipe, I jump at the chance to try it. This new-to-me pasta dish is Ah-MA-zing. Must try, for sure! And please do enjoy it with a nice red wine, it was even better that way. By the way, my kids also thought this was fabulous.

3. #Selfie, Steampunk, Catfish: See This Year's New Dictionary Words

Like any homeschool mom, I looooooove random bits of teaching material, especially when it is surprisingly amusing as well as educational. When a friend posted a link to a list of new words being added to the dictionary, I was sure it w0uld be a great break from our typical language lesson. The TIME article did not disappoint. My girls and I each learned new words and new meanings of old words, and had fun talking about them. It also proved a good opportunity to remind them how careful we need to be when using the internet, as we learned what a new use of "catfish" is, as well as talked about social networking. Go check it out for yourself!

4. "But I'm Bored"

"Mommmmmmmmmm, I'm bored." --Words I dread, how about you? I usually run through a list of things with my kids when I hear the "b"-word, like "is your room clean? read a book? draw a picture? tell me a story? tell your brother a story? write a letter to someone?" etc. And they always say NO. I think they either want to play the game system (not happening everyday, thankyouverymuch It's a beautiful day go LIVE outside), or want me to plan something for them. Um, hello, I plan SO much for them already (ok, ok, ok, it's technically school, but we also do really fun things like hiking and frozen yogurt) that I am TIRED of being the planner. Besides, being bored and then figuring out how to get out of boredom is good for kids. It inspires creativity and all that goodness. Julie from Brave Writer has a great blog about boredom. Go forth and read it so you're prepared with the dreaded "b"-word is spoken the next time at your house.

5. A Great DIY for Watering "Can" for Gardeners

I neeeeeeed to get my act together and actually *do* this one, ASAP. My basement is housing a gallon jug as I type, so maybe I should get off my tush and make it happen. Having this will make watering the plants on the front porch so much easier, and give the kids more control over where they water. *spoiler* It is a simple trick of poking holes in a jug lid, filling jug with water, cap, and pour.

6. Mystie has been blogging a wonderful, thought-provoking, and encouraging series on homemaking. I especially love this one, because she talks about transforming our homes, and bringing order out of chaos.

We all need a little kick in the pants to keep house, don't we? I know I do, even though I love having a neat house (it's never immaculate, so don't get the wrong idea about what my house looks like!). It's just that it can feel like a drag to have to dust, again. To have to scrub toilets, again. To have to sweep for the 7th time--in 2 days. And yet, it's fulfilling and oddly energizing (to me at least) to get tasks done around the house and look around to see a tidy space in place of the mess that was there before.

7. How about a little good music?

I am a sucker for talented a capella musicians.

8. And finally, free stuff from Brave Girls Club.

I am printing some of the collage sheets for art journaling this summer. If you haven't checked Brave Girls Club before, do. I love the little inspirational quotes they post on FB, and the art classes sound SO fun. In fact, I signed up for the summer class deal, and can't wait to dive in and get creative with my girlies.


I've had fun posting as a guest for Bonnie! Come see me Someday (hopefully) They'll Be Saints, where I blog about life as mom of 5, home schooling, and all the random bits that make up our corner of the world.

Gina likes to ponder life's tough issues, such as "what do feed the hungry children for the 7th time today?" and "should I get up before 6am--ever--so I have 5 minutes of quiet before the boys are awake?" She is the mother of 5, wife of 1 great guy, daughter of some swell parents, and happily Catholic. Her faith gives direction and purpose to her otherwise chaotic days as a home schooling mother and Air Force wife. Her hobbies include photography, pretending to be able to quilt, hunting down lost socks, cooking, blogging, and sometimes--very rarely--running. Life is grand.