Our Grocery Budget + What's for Supper

One year ago I wrote a series called Financial Hardships & Surprise Pregnancies. In it I talked a bit about groceries, our food budget, and our meal plan and there were requests for me to write more. So here it is, under the category of "Better Late than Never": the follow up post.

I want to start by touching on a couple of things that help to make this work for our family.

First, because of our food allergies I have to make almost everything from scratch but I do love to cook so it's a small sacrifice. However, it can be hard to figure out what we can eat based on what we have, what we can afford to buy, what everyone can and will eat, and then balance that with feast days and evening activities. All that to say, I love having a meal plan but I sorta don't like sitting down and writing up a meal plan.

Second, our income has increased a wee bit since last year and now our weekly grocery budget is about $130. Travis gives me $260 every two weeks. About once a month I will go to Costco for any variety of things: crackers, bacon, chicken breasts, flour, rice, detergent. I will spend about $50 there and then the rest will be divided between my two weeks shopping budget. Sometimes I will spend $120 one week and less the next but with the envelope system I always know how much cash I have and that I have to make it work for me.

Third, we bought half a cow in the spring from a local farmer (whose parents were the witnesses at my grandparents' wedding!) We still have about 1/3 of that meat in the deep freeze. Buying from the farmer is a big expense up front but it means we only spend ~$3 a pound on roasts, steaks, stew meat, ground beef, and liver (what do I do with liver?).

Updated with a fourth, when I say "groceries" I actually mean everything we eat and use in our house on a daily basis: tissues, paper towels, food, drinks, diapers, wet wipes, make-up, deodorant, cleaning products, garbage bags, hair products, feminine products, tealight candles used in holiday decorations, fresh flowers, and so on.

And fifth, we are a family of eight, six kids and two adults. Our oldest is eight and our youngest is almost ten months. While the baby is not eating a ton of food I am buying some special things for him and his diapers come out of our grocery budget so I think it's fair to include him in the count.

Okay, I think that's enough groundwork. Here goes:

Today I went grocery shopping and spent $109. It should feed us through the week though come Friday (pay day) I may pop back into the store in case I've run out of milk, bread, or sanity. My grocery list looked like this:

I also picked up apples, bananas, strawberries, hand soap refill, Earth Balance butter, shampoo, conditioner, mini bagels, bread, and a fountain soda. I didn't use coupons this week but I did make an effort to buy Kroger products so I would save with my Kroger card + earn fuel points. I know my meal plan says chili on Friday but we eat meatless on Fridays and I don't know why I wrote that down. So I bought no beans and we'll have something else instead.

After shopping my fridge looked like this:

And my freezer like this:

The cupboards have the bread, crackers, cereal, pop tarts, fruit snacks, oatmeal, chips, pretzels, canned food, and other items that make up our other meals. Generally speaking those menus look like this:

Breakfast options:
cold cereal, oatmeal, pop tart, bagel, toast, Eggo waffle, and sometimes homemade coffee cake or pancakes

Lunch options:
chicken nuggets, hot dogs, mac and cheese, fresh fruit, chips, pretzels, mini mallows, carrot sticks, leftovers

Snack options:
fresh fruit, carrot sticks, crackers, baked goods, popcorn, chips, mallows

And then for this week here's what we're having:

Monday: Shepherd's Pie and Biscuits
I make my Shepherd's Pie in a cast iron skillet so I can just bake it in the same dish. Both the pie and the biscuits are easily adapted for our food allergies and I use ground round instead of lamb to save on cost.

Tuesday: Italian Sausage + Homemade Red Sauce + GF Spaghetti Noodles and Frozen Veg and Applesauce

Wednesday: Chicken + Rice + Stir Fry Veggies

Thursday: Soup Bones + Noodles and Frozen Veg and Canned Peaches
I don't have a recipe for this because my mom made this up, but let me tell you it's amazing. She boiled the meat off the bones, took bones out, added noodles to the meat and broth. Then she made a roux, added that to the cooked noodles, meat, and what was left of the broth. She seasoned it with salt and pepper and it's delish.

Friday: Potato Soup and Home Baked Bread

Saturday: Ribs and Rice and Frozen Veg

Sunday: Brinner (that's breakfast for dinner)

I don't know if this is helpful at all but if you have any questions please feel free to ask. I'm sure there's ways I could save even more money (I have two friends who are amazing at gardening, canning, freezing, and baking and I know that really helps them a great deal.) but, again, this is what works for us here and now. Please share your tips and tricks, because the point really is about helping one another feed the masses on our budgets and I'd love to learn from you.

Eat up and enjoy!

Financial Hardships & Surprise Pregnancies: How We Make It Work

Welcome back to the Financial Hardships & Surprise Pregnancies series. The posts include: 
Introduction

Crosses & Chai Tea

How We Make It Work

and a follow up post:
God Works Differently in All Our Lives: Sex, Money, Suffering, and Grace

There is a real freedom in owning less stuff and in having less stuff to do and fewer places to go. My family lives a life that looks pretty simple (not as simple as some, of course) but we don’t do it because of Pope Francis or that KonMari tidy-up-things-spark-joy book. I definitely felt inspired after recently reading the Little House books for the first time in my life, and I felt very convicted about the amount of toys and stuff we have after reading about JPII’s impression of a US child’s playroom in Saint John Paul the Great. (Summary: he thought it was enough for a whole nursery but too much for a child.) However we live this way out of necessity.

I know there are families out there who could welcome more children into their homes if they were willing to move some money around in their monthly budgets and forego some of their creature comforts: yearly vacations, gym / zoo / pool / museum memberships, shiny new vehicles, homes with rooms that are only walked through. Maybe that’s you and maybe fear is the thing that is holding you back. Maybe you long for another baby but you are trapped in the routine of keeping up with the Joneses and living the “American Dream” and you just don’t know if you can make those budget cuts. I understand. I really, truly do. But I want you to know this:

Children are gifts - only and always - and they are perhaps the greatest gift God gives us. When you add more children to your home through pregnancy or adoption you are:

• giving your children more playmates and friends.
• adding exponential amounts of joy and humor to your home.
• allowing room for one more eternal soul to be loved and nurtured.
• fostering a home where people are valued over things and experiences.
• filling your home with vibrant life.
• creating a support system of people who will love one another and you and your spouse as you age and die.

I’m about to list off the “How We Do It” part of this series - how we have a big family and a small budget - but I first wanted to be sure you all knew that the sacrifices are worthwhile. Look at that list above. It is a good list.

How we make it work:

• The kids hear “no” a lot, and this isn’t a bad thing.
• We play outside, bake, do crafts, read books. My kids are not in activities but they are really good at climbing trees, they spend time playing in nature, they create and pretend, and they play with one another.
• We visit grandparents and great-grandparents often so my kids have good relationships with their grandparents. And I know it brings a great deal of joy to our parents and grandparents to see and spend time with our kids.
• Toys and clothes come as birthday and holiday gifts and unless a growth spurt makes it necessary they do not receive either from us at any other time.
• Netflix and rented movies are our entertainment; we don’t have cable and we seldom go to the movies. We also enjoy bonfires and using our fireplace.
• We are big fans of parks, libraries, and other free places.
• We do not have gym memberships. If we want to exercise we go for a walk, run, or bike ride outside.
• I keep my hair long, in part, because I can then only go to the salon every 6-9 months. Travis and all the kids usually get their hair cut at home. (One family trip to a cheap hair place pays for the clippers we have.)
• Experiences like special trips to the movies, museums, pools, or zoos are reserved for very special occasions and are often gifts. We do not have memberships to any of those places and in fact, my kids may visit each of those things once a year, if that. Often, when those trips do happen they are in the form of a special outing with grandparents or godparents.
• We don’t have a lot of room in our budget for tithing but we do tithe money and we try to be involved in various parish ministries - supporting them with our presence and volunteering our time and talents. (meals for funeral dinners, promotional work, etc)
• We save big expenses for tax refund time. We have been very fortunate to get a large refund the past few years and that money has gone towards paying down debt, stocking up on food, and replacing “big ticket items.” We also set aside money from the refund to pay for our kids’ birthday parties, Easter baskets, and car insurance.
• Beef is purchased locally. We try to use part of our tax refund to go towards purchasing a quarter of a cow from a local farmer. We are able to get top quality ground round, steaks, roasts, ribs and more for $3 a pound (that includes the butcher’s fee!). It is a big expense up front but it saves us a great deal of money on a weekly basis and allows for us to eat cuts of meat we would never be able to otherwise afford.
• Travis (along with his brother) is good at fixing things - cars, carpentry, electronics…For example, our hand-me-down recliner recently broke and instead of buying a new one (we couldn’t) Travis fixed it.
• We pick up extra work - Travis as a handyman and coach and me through speaking, blogging, and consulting.
• We use the envelope system, as I explained yesterday. Travis is very careful with our money and also has a bit of “mad money” which often goes towards donuts after Sunday Mass, a case of beer for when friends come over, and extra gas so we can make the two hour drive to see his family. Those little things help us to feel like we aren’t so poor after all.
• Travis is taking advantage of a tuition reimbursement program at his place of employment. This is allowing him to earn his masters for very little out-of-pocket money for us while moving him up the pay scale more quickly.
• We apply for and receive scholarships and tuition assistance at our kids’ parochial school.
• Christmas money given to Travis and me is used to restock our bar - just sayin.
• We throw our kids parties for their birthdays and get them 1-3 needed or small gifts at Christmas and Easter (usually). There is no need to “go all out" because the kids will receive gifts from grandparents, godparents, aunts and uncles - giving them more than they actually need. Plus, the fun of the holiday - family, food, church, playing games, decorations - is what really makes those things special.
• I am intentional about shutting off lights and line drying items when possible. We also keep our house at 65 in the winter and I try for a long as possible to not turn the heat on.
• The kids pack their lunch but we don't use Lunchables. I did apply for the free or reduced lunch program at school but I have not heard back yet.
• We usually don't use pre-packaged meals, making most of our food - even pizza - from scratch. (Travis has a soft spot for Pizza Rolls during football games, though.)
• The kids are in no extra-curriculars. When they are older they will have the option to join school sports, choir, and whatnot, but for now the only thing they participate in is the free summer reading program at the library.
• We eat meatless meals once or twice a week. Fridays are meatless as a part of our Catholic tradition but often Wednesdays are, too.
• Meat is often a side dish portion with pasta, pancakes, rice, or potatoes being used to fill bellies and veggies and fruit used to round out the meal.
• I don't attend Girls' Night Outs because I can't afford it, and then instead I created a women's group that is hosted by a new woman each month. Everyone brings drinks and snacks - potluck style - and we have a guest speaker and hang out. So I made something I could afford. ;)
• I gladly take hand-me-downs for myself and my kids. I think people just know this about me now and give me their stuff.
• We shop at Wal Mart and Target for clothes. I know that buying quality means it will last longer but it would take me awhile to save up to buy quality and my son needs new jeans yesterday.
• We live near family so grandmas are often able to help with free babysitting.
• We also are lucky that Travis has students willing to babysit for free for NHS volunteer hours and we have found babysitters in confirmation students who also need volunteer hours.
• WIC, which is a government food program for pregnant and nursing moms and children age 5 and under. While we would still qualify for it and food stamps we have opted to not use them. However, WIC was really helpful when we had to use formula, which was at a time when my weekly grocery budget was $75 for a family of 5. 
• The Medical Card. Since JF's birth the whole family has been on it and between it and my husband's excellent insurance we have hardly any medical expenses. If it weren't for the medical card I honestly don't know what we would do but despair because of the bills from JF's NICU stay, all the specialists, JP's week-long stay in the hospital at birth, and the continuing medications we need for our boys' allergies. I know there are many who think we should be ashamed of the government aid but without it I know we would be opting out of basic medical care like teeth cleanings and the life-changing medication I took for postpartum depression. I also know we would be less likely to go to the ER for JF's allergic reactions but those visits have saved his life more than once. To me, it is shameful we live in a culture where people make people like me feel bad for receiving help. Can it be humiliating? Yes. But we do it for the good of our children and they are worth it.

One last thought I want to share is this:

People have been incredibly generous with my family. While JF was in the NICU and the months that followed people gave and supported us in so many ways. Then, just recently, people have once again provided for us. And in between these two events have been many generous acts and gifts from family and friends. All of these times we didn't ask for anything but the goodness in people, encouraged by the Holy Spirit, decided to help and so they did.

Over the years I have tried to convey how grateful we are for these gifts, hand-me-downs, meals, and other generous deeds but I always knew what I was saying was falling short. I hope those people who have been so generous will now have a better understanding of how large of an impact they (you) have all had on my family. We have not forgotten what you have done for us and we remain grateful.

The Series:
Introduction
Crosses & Chai Tea
How We Make It Work

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Financial Hardships & Surprise Pregnancies: Crosses & Chai Tea

Welcome back to the Financial Hardships & Surprise Pregnancies series. The posts include: 
Introduction

Crosses & Chai Tea

How We Make It Work

and a follow up post:
God Works Differently in All Our Lives: Sex, Money, Suffering, and Grace

We have five kids and I'm pregnant with my sixth. I am a stay at home mom. My husband is a public high school teacher.

Our family of eight lives in a three bedroom ranch, a solidly built home with a nice, large, unfinished basement, thread-bare carpet, rickety windows that will shatter into dangerous shards, nice-enough-but-really-pretty-ugly bathrooms and kitchen, and a nice big yard that would be amazing after about $2,000 worth of work.

Okay, actually the yard just is amazing but I would really love to put in about $2,000 worth of work into it (evergreens for privacy here, a gorgeous waterfall there, a fire pit, some boxwoods and Rose of Sharons by the fence, and more mulch than you can imagine).

We drive around in a mini-van with a wonky radiator. If you ever see me on the side of the road with the hood up I am probably fine, I just need to release the pressure that has built up from air bubbles in the coolant. When the new baby comes we won't all fit in it and our best chance for a new one is tax refund time, though that money was supposed to go towards new windows and paying down debt.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm prone to over-sharing a bit, but also because I have had some friends specifically request that I write about how our family manages to get by financially with so many mouths to feed, and how we decide to bring more kids into our budget-tight family.

I don't really have a very pretty answer, nor an easy one. We live right at the poverty line for the state of Illinois but I don't think we are what you would think of when you picture a family living in poverty. We have cell phones, Netflix, wifi, two cars, toys to play with, clothes to wear, and food to eat. We send our kids to private school. I have a KitchenAid mixer and we have an iPad. Now most of those things were gifts, or second hand, or straight out charity, or floor models purchased at deep holiday discounts with money from second jobs (looking at you, mixer).

Of course you wouldn’t know that and so I wonder about all the other families who live at or below the poverty line. I wonder how many live around me and how many I know and how similar we are. I wonder if they have ever cried with worry about how they will pay bills or buy Christmas presents. I wonder if they’ve ever had to put food back on the shelf at the grocery store. I wonder if they ever have to confess resenting people who tell them they went to Disney but it was affordable because they didn’t stay at a park hotel. I wonder if they worry about the balance of feeding their family on a limited budget and having malnourished kids.

Mostly I think about it when it comes to food. Right now I have a container of chai tea concentrate in the fridge. It was on sale for just under $3 and usually it costs almost $5. I know this because I look at it every week at the grocery store and wish I could buy it. But I can't afford $5 for chai tea concentrate and so 48 weeks out of the year I do not make that purchase. $5 can buy two packages of the Turkey Selects hot dogs, possibly 2lbs of sausage, a gallon of milk and a carton of eggs, five loaves of bread, five bags of frozen veggies, a variety of fresh produce, two boxes of cereal, a canister of oatmeal and James' milk, a pound of ground beef, two bags of chips, a package of diapers, OR a tube of toothpaste and some tissues. $5 buys things my family needs and so, unless I have extra pocket money, I don't spend that money on something I want.

But two weeks ago I had a bit of extra money and the chai was on sale and so I splurged and bought it. I've been enjoying it but every time I look in the fridge and see the chai sitting there but not a lot of anything else I feel guilty. I wish I wouldn't have bought the chai.

Now, we use the envelope system. Twice a month, when my husband is paid, I am given $300. I use $50 for gas, which has to last for 2 weeks. I use $120 each Monday for groceries for the week. I have $10 left over - sometimes more when gas is cheap - to spend as I wish. Sometimes that buys us a convenient McDonald's dinner or at least a large diet Dr. Pepper to soothe my worried mind. Sometimes it buys a kid's birthday present or pays for a field trip. Sometimes I use it to buy gas because we've driven a little bit more than usual and I have no more cash for gas. Sometimes I spend it on groceries because $120 doesn't always get too far.

All this to say: I shouldn't have bought that chai. I should I have purchased some more frozen veggies or a pint of strawberries. My $10 of “mad money” isn’t really mine - it’s buffer money - and I hate that I was selfish and impulsive.

The funny thing is, if our student loans were all paid off we would be totally comfortable living off my husband’s paycheck and the little side jobs we do. My loan is almost gone (less than $3k left) but my husband’s loans will be around for awhile. We have a bit of credit card debt - something we wouldn’t have if we didn’t have the student loans, if we weren’t living in fixer-uppers, and if we weren’t occasionally stupid - and looking at our budget we know that to get rid of those things would be incredibly freeing for our family. We don’t regret our college educations but we do regret other financial decisions we made, especially early on in our marriage.

So I’m just throwing that out there: if we had less debt to pay on each month our family of almost eight would be living comfortably while still sitting at the poverty line. There still wouldn’t be Disney vacations, but we wouldn’t be worried about buying a new van, or having an extra $50 a month in the grocery budget, and we wouldn’t have to pick up extra work for swimming lessons.

And how have we discerned to have more kids? Well, we haven’t - not since Resa. All of our boys and the baby I’m currently pregnant with have been surprises. Honestly, with our financial situation I feel like we have just reason to not have any more babies for awhile, if ever again. But obviously, God thought otherwise.

My super fertility, the long periods of abstinence that comes with it, and the super tight budget it has brought has all made me spend a great deal of time reflecting on what the Church teaches about vocations and marriage. I am convinced that there are things about me, Travis, and our marriage that need to be refined, made holier, and purified, and God is allowing us to suffer through financial hardship while asking us to joyfully accept surprise pregnancies so that very act of sanctification can happen.

My crosses and blessings are mine - God has specifically picked them out for me so that I can better do what I want most: to know, love, and serve Him and to be holy as He is holy. Every individual’s crosses and blessings are just as specific to them, especially for those of us who are striving to follow the Lord. God has lovingly picked them all out for all of us.

So did I believe we should probably be done? Yes. Was that partially because of fear and anxiety? Yes. Does perfect love cast out fear? Yes. Do I feel like God is asking me to trust Him? Yes. So I will trust and we’ll keep doing what we’re doing, loving one another and our kiddos and our God. And very, very rarely splurging on chai tea concentrate.

You can come back tomorrow for final post How We Make It Work, where I talk about what we actually do to stretch our dollars, live off one salary, and provide for a family of 8. And if you haven't read the Introduction yet, please click here.

The Series:

Introduction

Crosses & Chai Tea

How We Make It Work

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The Hard Decision of Public Over Parochial - a guest post by Michelle Hughes

Recently, we decided that our children will attend public high school. We’d been discerning diligently for the past 7-8 months, but the hope of providing Catholic high school education to our children had been on our minds for even longer than that. There were many things we considered as we discerned. I’ve been able to compartmentalize them into three main categories: the expense; the extra-curricular opportunities (sports, clubs, etc); and the environment (Catholic and otherwise). Our comfort levels with different aspects of all of those were based on our experiences. Craig attended Catholic school all the way through high school. I attended Catholic school from grades 1 through 8. After that, I attended public high school.

For the purposes of this post, I am going to focus on the financial expense of providing a Catholic high school education. It seems, unfortunately, that Catholic high schools in most of our country have gone the way of being “Private Schools with Mass.” The tuition to attend the Catholic high school in my area is pretty close to what it costs to attend any other private high school in our city. It might be a little less expensive (by $1000-2000) but when you’re talking $10-12,000 per year, that’s not that much of a discount. Many families like mine - those who have accepted alarger-than-average amount of children, often expand the family beyond theability to provide Catholic education through high school. I’m not even going
to touch the college expense. My kids will know from the get-go that paying for college will be largely on them.

To hear many Church leaders (Priests, Bishops, etc) speak, you would think that the Catholic Church wants to provide a Catholic education to anyone who wants it. And I do think the desire is there. The problem is that a Catholic education is exclusive to those who can afford it, and sadly, many families cannot justify $10,000+/year tuition for four years for each kid in high school for a family the size of mine. I also know of families smaller than mine, for whom the Catholic education is out of reach. I know of families larger than mine that make it work, too. I think that’s great and God has blessed them abundantly for their sacrifice.

Our diocese is building a new Catholic high school about an hour southeast of where I live. I signed up to contribute to this effort. I made a 3-year-commitment of 1% of our take-home pay for this campaign. At the time, we were still thinking that our kids could perhaps attend Catholic high school. But now that the decision has been made to send them to public school, I can’t help but note the irony that I am helping pay for a new Catholic high school to which I can’t even afford to send my kids.

There has been much said to me and around me about the financial assistance available for Catholic high school, but the reality of the matter seems to be that there just isn’t that much to go around to everyone who needs it. Even if the first year was made doable, the following years could crush us financially, and once your kid has started going somewhere for high school, you really don’t want to move them, so we’d be stuck if we started…at least for our oldest. I’ve heard that endowments for the private schools in our city are much bigger than what is available at the local Catholic high school, which only puts added pressure on the finances (of both school and families).

One of the most familiar commentaries I have heard from older parishioners who have already put their children through Catholic high school is that it was worth the sacrifice. I have no doubt that if I were able to sacrifice a reasonable amount without hurting my family in the process, I
would also find the sacrifice to be worth it, edifying even. I understand that the people who encourage me to send my children to Catholic high school and “trust God” and that “it is all worth the sacrifice” mean well. For them, the sacrifice was doable. I don’t know what most people make, what their financial commitments are outside of Catholic high school tuition and all that stuff. Therefore, I can’t give an opinion on whether the sacrifice they made and what would be required of me would be similar or not. I can only speak to our situation and believe me when I tell you that the amount of money I was putting away simply for Catholic High school was preventing Club volleyball, guitar lessons, ballet, among other activities that I had wanted to provide my kids. I was looking down the road and seeing 16 years of nothing outside of school-related activities and tuition in the budget and I was getting down about not being able to provide some experiences for my kids that I think are important to their growth.

An additional consideration for a family like mine might be that we’d be able to provide Catholic high school for one, but not all of our children. Saving the money I was to put towards tuition - for as long as I was looking at having to do that - was putting our family into a delicate position should a job loss occur or any instance that could happen causing either my husband or me to be without an income for any period of time. I’m talking - beyond the emergency savings - how could we continue to provide this if some tragedy befell our family? And even if no tragedy befell us, but life happened and the amount we’d saved couldn’t measure up to what was required - what if we faced the possibility that our children could not continue at the Catholic high school and we provided for one and couldn’t provide for all? Plus we have spaced our children to the extent that we will be paying for preschool for our youngest during our oldest child’s first two years of high school. Preschool is a necessity for us as it doubles as our childcare; our daily childcare expense won’t diminish until our youngest enters Kindergarten.

The balance in these things is critical in our relationship as a family, I think. Rather than face the insecurity of being unable to provide this for all five of our living children, it seemed the more prudent approach to continue to save the money knowing it could help provide things like Club volleyball, Swim team, music lessons, tennis lessons, and other extra-curricular activities that will provide value down the line. It seems more prudent knowing that money will be available to buy a new-to-us car if the time comes, without taking on the burden of payments. Perhaps we will pre-pay preschool tuition to get a discount. Perhaps the next round of orthodontic treatment won’t be such a hassle.

Once the decision was made, a huge load was lifted from my chest. Yes, sadness prevailed for a little bit. It’s hard to admit that you can’t provide your kids with their desires. And the disappointment in the fact that the Catholic Church can’t fulfill her desire to educate all those who would want to come to a Catholic school is still there.

Did the Catholic Church intend to go down this route? I doubt it. The reality of the situation is that Catholic schools are no longer run by Religious (nuns or priests). Paying competitive salaries (and benefits!) for laypeople as teachers and administrators has driven the cost to the point that it is difficult to see a difference between a Catholic school and a private school. The main difference being that at a Catholic school, religion class is a requirement, a chapel/place for daily prayer is available and Mass happens on at least a semi-regular basis. Add to that the fact that Catholics in this country do not support the Church to the level required to provide a Catholic education to all. And - to be fair - most Catholics who are paying tuition to the rate of $10,000/year/kid feel the obligation to pay that and probably believe this IS their financial support for the Church. I know that if I were to pay tuition for Catholic high school, my “first fruits” contribution would most likely have to diminish to cover the cost. Obviously, that’s backwards because it turns my “first fruits” contribution into something else.

I do think something should be figured out. I think there is  something wrong when a Church encourages the faithful to be generous an embrace new life into their marriages, but then shuts the door on those families when it comes to education. I know parents are the primary educators of children. Parents should not drop the kids off at the door of the Catholic school expecting all the magic to happen there, and at the end of 12 years, POOF! a well-formed Catholic with brains to match magically appears. But I also recognize my Church’s call to support Catholic education in all ways, including financial. A little more financial support as well as a bit of emotional and spiritual support from the Church with regard to this issue would be most appreciated.

Michelle is a Catholic, wife and work-outside-the-home mom five children on earth (+1 in heaven). She enjoys exercising (especially Crossfit), reading (especially thriller/mystery type novels), playing with the kids and an occasional date night with her husband, particularly those which include a Margarita. She enjoys blogging (in her "free" time) at Endless Strength about daily life, Catholic and motherly reflections, and weight loss. You can follow her on Instagram or Twitter (both handles are @michellephughes) or "Like" her Endless Strength Facebook page.

My Favorite Tithes

When it's time to give our ten percent there's a few places we love supporting with our money and prayers. For us, the top five are:

FOCUS (The Fellowship of Catholic University Students)
We support our friend Joanna and we strongly believe in the amazing things she's doing in the lives of college students.

Catholic Answers
We listen on our local EWTN radio station and we love the magazine. We really appreciate the insightful formation that is offered with charity and intelligence.

The Sheen Foundation
We love Venerable Fulton Sheen and we strongly believe that his example is needed in today's culture.

Sisters of Life
The Sisters of Life are amazing and the work they do to build up the culture of life is beautiful and filled with joy and love.

our local parish
Spiritually, intellectually, and literally our local parish feeds me and my family. With Mass, adoration, Bible studies, confession, the parish school, potlucks and parties: our parishes old and new have taken care of us and so we want to do our part to take care of it.

What about you? Who or what do you love to give your tithe to? If you have a favorite I'd love to hear about it and the reason why you love it.

Saving for those who are bad at saving - a guest post by Cassie Kent

I am terrible with money- budgeting, saving, spending...everything.  I'ts a difficult game for me to understand, because I am such a hands on learner its hard for me to grasp money going out and coming in when everything is automated and we use credit/debit cards all the time.  Mike and I are constantly re-evaluating our budget and how to stay on that budget...its so darn hard!  However, I came across this idea that I liked and worked for me on a smaller scale:

 "52 week money challenge"

For each week of the year you put away that much money in a jar. Example: Week 1: one dollar, Week 2: two dollars....Week 52: fifty-two dollars. So in total at the end of the year you will have: 1,378.00 dollars!

You can download the same sheet I used here. My inspiration came from here.

So you need to find a Large Jar...Pickles anyone?

I spray painted the top for fun!

Print out your template and Modge Podge it

*Poof* done!

Wowzers, so simple.  There is something I understand and get about taking physical cash every week out of my wallet and putting it in my jar....its very empowering! Hey, look I am saving!  I seriously feel like a kid (...its probably because this was a tool your teachers used to teach you how to save in like 1st grade) and I am doing it...and loving it!  Its so much easier too to part with your money when it is in small increments.

I have a goal for that money, don't you worry.  If we don't get to it sooner it will go to a much needed master-bath update....you know one of those homeowner things that has been on your list since you bought the house (ahem, 5 years ago)!  We keep saying to ourselves "we need to save up"...well here I am finally "saving up!".  

Also something I might use this jar saving idea for is... Christmas gifts! We don't spend that much money on Christmas gifts, but a good chunk could go for getting some great stuff, plus scheduling wise it works out great....If I start in January then the jar will be pretty much "Full Jar-ed" by December.  I buy Christmas presents throughout the year, so I might need to stock pile a jar a year in advance so I am free to spend it on gifts throughout the year. Anywho, pretty cool idea huh? 

Won't You join me in this challenge? It is never too late to start saving.  

Do you have any money saving tips?  Please help me out! Happy Saving! 

Cassie Kent is the blogger behind Kent Heartstrings and the hostess behind Kreative.  She is married to Mike, who keeps her grounded and the family always focused on Christ...and it helps that he can always make her laugh. They have been married for 6 years and live in southern California. Her world is her two children, Gigi who is 4 going on 16 and Charlie a 6 month old chunker. She is a stay-at-home mama, but seems to never really be at "home".  Her heart comes alive when she is creating. It doesn't matter if it's a messy egg-carton creature or a beautiful DIY home-decor piece, she is always keeping busy and working on a project or 2..or 3.

You can follow her on Facebook // RSS // Pinterest // Instagram // Bloglovin // Twitter

Thank you, Cassie, for sharing your thrift with us!

Budgets and paychecks and making ends meet

I've thought long and hard about budgets and living paycheck to paycheck and tips for cutting costs.  I can give you those tips and share what has worked for my family but I think I need to start somewhere else.  There's something that needs to be discussed first or none of the rest will matter.

Lifestyle.

What is the lifestyle that you want to live and how important to you is it?

Do you want to be a full-time stay at home mom?
Do you want family vacations to Disney? 
Do you want a smart phone so you can Instagram pics, tweet, Facebook, and surf wherever, whenever?
Do you want to be able to send your three-year-old to preschool? 
Do you want to have dinner out once a week?  Twice a week? 
Do you want to shop at Goodwill, Target, Kohl's, Macy's?  And how often do you want to shop there?
Do you want to do private or public shcool or do you want to homeschool? 
Do you want to buy Stouffer's lasagna or do you want to make your own? 
And when you make it do you want to use a jar of store-bought marinara, do you want to make your own red sauce from a $.69 can of store-brand tomato paste or do you want to puree and cook down tomatoes from your garden? 
And even if you don't want to do the garden thing are you willing to do so to save money?
Do you want to buy a new mini-van or a second-hand one?
Are you willing to limit the amount of driving you do so you're not spending a fortune filling up?
If you want to be a stay at home mom are you willing to pick up extra jobs here and there, like cleaning a house on Saturdays or coaching the local cheerleading squad?
Can you give up Starbucks or even playdates at McDonald's and settle for walks around the neighborhood?

Do you need two incomes to do these things or is one enough?

If you want family vacations in Disney World that's fine!  If you want to be able to shop at Target once a month and drop $200 that's fine!  Really - in case the tone of this post isn't clear, please know that I have nothing against having it all!  In fact, I think that's fantastic.

But to have it all, and to be financially responsible, you might not be able to afford being a full-time stay at home mom.  So if you want to pay for a nice phone and have a data plan then do it and know that the sacrifice is that you may have to work.  And I don't mean full time work.  Maybe 20 hours a week will get you what you want.  Maybe even five hours is all you need.

The fact of the matter is that some of us have hard-working husbands with nice paying jobs.  Those women can do whatever they want (vacations, new cars, nice clothes, babysitters, etc) and the family can be financially responsible and afford for the mom to stay home.  Some of us have hard-working husbands with jobs that don't pay as well.  Mine, for example.  Travis and I are trying to be financially responsible so we can afford for me to stay home but that means we cannot do whatever we want.

But we figured out a long time ago that the benefits and blessings of me staying home with our kids are (more than!) worth the sacrifices we make in our budget.  And we also figured out that comparing what we have with what other families have doesn't help.  We know what we want, what we need, and what is a priority for us.  Knowing those things has enabled us to make a budget that works for us, allowing us to sacrifice where we can and need to but also allowing us some wiggle room where we want.

So Lifestyle - what do you want?

the sports van

Part 1
Travis and I looked at our growing family and decided we needed a minivan.  He looked online, stopped by a couple dealerships, and did some research and number crunching.  We needed a $5,000-$6,000 van in fairly good condition.  We prayed that God would provide us with the right van.

Part 2
While looking online, we found a van that fit our needs.  So we headed over to the dealership and Trav took it for a test drive, during which the breaks began to smoke.  When he and the salesman returned we all sat down and talked about money, and the dealer sent the car to the garage to be fixed right away.  While talking with the salesman Travis told him, "We won't be buying today; we need a night or two to think about it."  "Okay," the salesman said, and then he asked us to sign some paper so he could figure out monthly payments. 

Part 3
We continued to discuss numbers and then the salesman got out paperwork, asking us to sign a form stating no extras were promised.  "Ummm... we're not buying the car today."  "You're not?!"  "No, my husband told you that and you said 'okay.'"  "Oh.... ummmm..."  He then got the sales manager came over to reassure us that the breaks were being fixed since legally they can't sell us a car that has something wrong with it.  I responded, "I hope you wouldn't ethically either."  This dealership didn't need 3 strikes, 2 was enough and we were done.

Part 4
That night we talked about things some more and decided that right now, with just two kids we didn't need to buy anything.  Why tighten our belt even more to take on a new monthly payment.  We basked in our wisdom. 

Part 5
My father-in-law found a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan with 117,000 miles at small dealership in a small town near his home.  He talked to the dealer and if we traded in our Cavalier it would cost us $5,450 - taxes, license and everything included.

Part 6
The next day the transmission died in the Cavalier.  I love when God makes things obvious.

Part 7
We took the Cavalier to the dealership, the dealer test drove it, guaranteed $5,450 and told us to talk to our bank.  That was on a Saturday.  On Monday, during his lunch hour, Travis called Cefcu, got a loan and drove to the dealership.  We bought a van. 

Part 8
Buying the van was kinda painful for me.  Here I am, two small kids, too fat to dress well, and driving a minivan.  It's kinda depressing.  It's the official turning in of my "cool card."  But then my wonderful husband pointed out that the title read sports van not mini van.  So the pill wasn't so bitter after all.  :)

Wowzers

I read this letter about saving and living on a budget. I am so impressed! I think the best advice it gave me (as far as a good starting point) is to pray, especially at the store. The woman said she prays before, during and after she spends money. What a good way to stay focused on God, from whom all good things come, smart spending, needs vs. wants, and the people I'm shopping for.

You should check it out - you will be impressed.

Ahhh... the money crisis

Travis told me I'm not allowed to pay the bills any more because of how they, along with Suze Orman on Oprah and the financial experts on the Today Show, are freakin' me out.

I just read the post a Conversion Diary about money and living beyond our means and I guess that needs to be added to the list of things freakin' me out. But I'm going to make a guess that many of my friends are in a pretty similar boat as Travis and I - living paycheck to paycheck and currently putting nothing into savings. The savings thing is what really scares me. But THANK GOD we have MVV living with us. With his awesome rent (and I mean, seriously - $200 a month for your own place and the best landlords ever!) and 1/3 of the utilities we are spending less than 50% of our monthly income on fixed expenses. This is good.

So now, instead of freaking out, I'm going to make a list of all the VERY GOOD things we are doing to be financially smart.

- cutting up extra credit cards and paying off all balances
- spending no more than $65 a week on groceries unless it is a stock up week.
- begin using only cash or debit cards
- finding more recipes for tuna
- making my own bread products (this includes wheat bread and tortillas)
- buying store brands
- using coupons

Along with those things we are also
- trying to be generous with what we do have
- working on increasing our tithing to a full 10%
- making a point to thank God every morning for everything we have: our home, insurance, our cars, our health, Travis' job and job security, my job, MVV, our friends and family. This last bit is the most important, I believe.