7 quick takes

1 - I wanted to post a song to go with the heat.  Buster Poindexter's "Hot Hot Hot" is just a little too peppy.  So I went with Badly Drawn Boy's "The Shining" which is nice and slow and thick.  I thought it fit.

2 - Thursday was a pie baking day at my house.  Remember when I said I needed to make some money to pay for a trip so I could see my friend profess final vows with the Nashville Dominicans?  Well, my mom is often hired by local women to bake home made pies for certain events.  One such event (an ice cream social at the park) is tonight and we baked four apple pies and one blueberry pie for $8 each.  Every little bit helps!

3 - Here's what we did on the 4th of July:

We made red, white, and blue skewers.  The kids mostly ate marshmallows and complained about how they don't like blueberries.

I did all the prep work and made mine while they were still in quiet time.  By getting all my ridiculous perfectionist tendencies out of the way I was able to let the kids just enjoy themselves.

Thank you, Pinterest.

I tried to get a cute picture of my four awesome kids.  This is as good as it got.

I ate waaaaaay too many patriotic rice krispie treats.

Another thanks to Pinterest here.

Travis set off fireworks and the kids held hands while they watched.  I think it was one part excitement, one part fear, and one part safety.

Poor L momentarily forgot all the warnings and reminders and touched a recently extinguished sparkler. Here's a picture of our little burn victim holding her injured hand in ice water while her daddy holds her ice cream.  It's cute.

4 - One of my favorite sites to visit is Big Pulpit.  Every day Tito Edwards posts links to the best Catholic blog articles out there.  Along with National Catholic Register, I check out Big Pulpit almost every day.  I just wanted to share it in case you hadn't heard of it yet.  Enjoy! 

5 - Let's take a moment to appreciate how cute my little Resa is...

Six weeks and so, so sweet!

6 - Tomorrow our good friends, and Resa's godparents, are getting married.  Travis and I are so happy for them and we're so excited to share in their joyous day.  Yay for MVV and Liz!

We love you!



7 - This one's for R, who left a sympathetic message for Travis in my comment box.

7 quick takes

1 - So I've been listening to this song on repeat for about 3 weeks.  I hate the video, though.  The song definitely tells a story that happened in the 80's but everything is current except for the mix tape.  Seriously, do people younger than 25 even know what mix tapes are?  I don't think so.  So don't watch the dumb video, just listen to the song and appreciate all its references to songs we can all hopefully agree are great.

2 - I own this album, as in record. There's something about a record... but I can't listen to them anymore because my kids would break or scratch them, I am sure of it. I'm on Fire is probably my favorite song, closely followed by Working on the Highway. I think I have a strong association between my childhood and Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp songs. They always make me think of playing in my neighborhood, eating popsicles, and riding in the backseat of my parents grey Oldsmobile. It makes me happy.

3 - On Pinterest I saw the suggestion to take a picture of your daughter in your wedding dress so it can be displayed at her wedding. Of course the picture on Pinterest showed a little girl with styled hair and good lighting, probably sitting in a portrait studio. This is L at the end of the day, sitting on my bed. But it doesn't really matter. She looked beautiful in the dress and I was delighted when she told me she would wear it on her own wedding day. (I seriously love that dress so much that until I could no longer fit in it I would wear it around the house, talking on the phone, watching tv, whatever. Love it.)

4 - Now it's time for some cute pictures of my kids. These are a little late being posted but it's still the Season of Easter so I'm not gonna fret.

 

5 - Over at IGNITUM TODAY we're doing a symposium on Mercy and Killing, which grew out of an email exchange about mercy killing.  You can check out my post, Black and White for the Shades of Grey.  It took me a long time to gather my thoughts and write the essay.  I feel like the tone changes and it doesn't flow, but I still hope you read it.  It's intimidating stating that mercy killing parents aren't monsters when the internet is full of people ready and willing to rip my head off for saying such a thing. 

6 - It's probably really lame that I can't remember is in the US we're supposed to spell it "gray" or "grey" though it's even more lame that I didn't look it up I just decided to go with the 'e' and keep it at that.  If "grey" is the British spelling let's all just blame my concentration in British literature and call it good.

7 - Tonight my mom is keeping all three kids overnight.  In anticipation I have blown off the whole day and done nothing but feed and dress the kids at eat cookie dough.  I hope you're gonna do something fun tonight!

our engagement story

The lovely Betty Beguiles is hosting a The Story of How You Became Engaged link-up.  Join the fun!

I'm going to splurge a little bit and tell our whole story.  The short version.

Travis was a super senior at WIU, living at the Newman Center, when I was hired as the campus minister.  When I arrived to campus he was the only one around.  We spent our first day together rearranging furniture, eating at Hardees, talking about the girl he was in love with, and watching We Were Soldiers.

Over the next two years we became very good friends.  Our relationship was completely platonic.  It was wonderful.

In February 2006 he and his fiance called off their engagement.  In March the man I was seeing told me he had found greener pastures (another woman).  On April 1st we unofficially went to the Newman Formal together.  I had an idea that maybe I liked him but, not knowing he ended his engagement for seminary, I thought he was still in love with his ex. 

Around the middle of April Travis was praying in the chapel about his vocation.  He asked God, "What do You want me to do?"  He thought he'd get a response like, "Become a monk."  Instead he was overcome with thoughts and images of me.  When he asked the chaplain, Father told him God was either showing him what he was going to miss out on or what he was going to get. 

Travis began to be more intentional in spending time with me. 

I was clueless and kept any attraction pushed waaaaaay in the back.

Then he called me one day, saying he had to discuss something with me.  As we ended the conversation I almost said, "I love you."  I hung up the phone and freaked out.  It was true: I had completely fallen in love with Travis and I didn't even know it was happening. 

It was okay, though, because the conversation he wanted to have with me began with, "I want to date you.  I think God wants us to be together."

He then spent the next two days convincing me he was over his ex.

Two weeks later we had our wedding date picked out.  A month after that we were officially engaged and I had the ring on my finger to prove it.  Almost seven months after that we were married during the Octave of Christmas, on the Eve of the Feast of the Holy Family.

And we've lived happily ever after.


Now, how did he actually propose?  Well, he made a date with me.  I was pretty sure he was going to propose and in my nervousness I drank a ton of water.  I packed a picnic dinner - real plates, chicken breasts, yummy stuff - and he picked me up, bouquet of roses in hand. 

We went to Grandview Dr. in Peoria and ate while overlooking the Illinois River.  We then went for a small hike in the woods.  During the hike I really, really had to pee.  I told Travis and we tried to get to a park area, which just kept seeming further and further away. 

Then, at the top of a hill was a small clearing with a handful of grazing deer.  We were very close and we stopped to quietly watch them.  Travis said my name and I turned to see him kneeling, holding up a ring. 

"I love you.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  Will you marry me?"

I said yes.  We kissed; we hugged; he picked me up and spun me around in a circle.

And then I went to pee in the woods.

Because I am that classy.

My advice to the bride

My cousin is getting married and she mentioned asking me for help later on.  Instead I typed up the following letter: 

#1 Budget, know it and stick with it.
And in order to stick with it you need to know what is important to you. Favors at the reception and bubbles after the ceremony can easily be rid of and no one will notice. Recruit friends and family with talent. Offer to pay them a small fee and usually they’ll do it for cost - labor as a gift, or completely free.


#2 Food served at a buffet is usually better than plated meals. It's also less wasteful and soooo much cheaper.


#3 Bridesmaids, wait to pick them.
As in wait at least 4 months. You’ll want to see how friends react to your engagement and if they’re supportive or not. You’ll also want to see which friends you remain close to. When you move to the next part of your life some single friends may resent you and other friends who are also married, engaged, etc will become your stronger allies. Life changes and some friends change with it, not good, not bad, it’s just the way it works.


#4 Wedding Cake, to save or not to save.
We saved money by having a smaller “display” cake and serving our guests sheet cakes. The “display” cake, the one we cut, was served the following day at the present opening party and the topper was frozen, of course. Having sheet cakes also allowed me to have a variety of cake flavors. But if a big beautiful cake is important to you then do it! Friends who have had the centerpiece cakes (one on each table) have had a lot of left over cake or wasted cake at the end of the evening. But if that’s what you want then do it!


#5 DJ
If you need a DJ in Central Illinois I strongly recommend Absolute Light & Sound (309-275-5100). They are the absolute best in this area and reasonably priced for how great the quality is. A good DJ makes or breaks your reception. Believe me.


#6 If you’re going to splurge on anything I suggest it be a dress you love and photography.
You’ll look at your pictures for the rest of your life and you want to like the way you look in them. A friend of mine and her husband have their own business and take great pics. Morris Photography is the name, 309-363-1450, http://www.sethmorrisphotography.com/.

 #7 Pictures
a) make sure your photographer can politely boss people around. If the photographer isn’t assertive then it will take forever to get pictures done - which can be stressful
b) assign someone (girlfriend of a groomsman perhaps) to take pictures at your rehearsal.
c) Make up a list beforehand of pictures you want taken and make sure the people in them know they are supposed to be there. Most photographers will have you do this with them, but if you recruit a friend to take pics it doesn’t always happen.


#8 Wedding Coordinator - have one!!!
Some churches will have a wedding coordinator, in which case you still might want to have a personal attendant / gopher. A wedding coordinator can just be a friend who is assertive, polite and can make things happen. She should also know how to run a rehearsal and a reception.  Seriously, this will make your wedding day go soooo much better!!!! She can tell the bridesmaids when to walk down the aisle, coordinate the ushers, make sure the programs are getting handed out, run errands if needed, and she should field all questions so you aren’t bothered. (You will be so sick of questions by the time your rehearsal comes.)

#9 The Marriage
In all of this make sure you’re preparing for the marriage - which is way more important than just the one day. In detail discuss things like debt, credit cards, kids (spacing, number, discipline, schooling), holidays, hobbies, contraception, budgets, on and on. Pray together. Have fun.

And on that note, I strongly encourage you to look into Natural Family Planning. It’s cheap, eco-friendly and most importantly, it has really strengthened my marriage, my trust in God and Travis, and my knowledge of my body. Travis and I have successfully used it to achieve and put off pregnancy, so we know that it works. It forces us to have serious, meaningful conversations about things like money, sex, attitude, prayer and goals. I honestly don’t think we would still be having these conversations 3 years into our marriage if we weren’t convicted about NFP. There are several different methods, www.cdop.org has information on all of them and classes, if you are interested.

songs for a bridal shower

Sunday was a bridal shower for a Newman friend's fiance. I was in charge of games and we played one where everyone had 3 minutes to write down as many songs that they could think of that had the word "love" in the title. Everyone goes around and reads their list, crossing off repeats. When all was said and done I gave two cd's away. The bride got a burned cd of love songs and the winner got, along with her prize, a burned cd of love stinks songs. I then read the following stories, which are the playlists for each cd.



Love Sweet Love

We all know that Everybody Needs Somebody to Love. In fact, we were Made to Love. Now, I Believe in a Thing Called Love, and usually this is how it plays out: a man and a woman meet and maybe they fall Accidentlly in Love. And the next thing you know the man is telling the woman Your Love is Lifting Me Higher and she's telling him that he's bringing her Closer to Love. Soon the man tells her, with a look in his eye, When a Man Loves a Woman... and he's begging her to Love Me Tender. But she exclaims that if it's Real Love then there will be Love and Marriage. Well, The Power of Love finds the two at the altar and at the end of the night she tells him to Come and Get Your Love. Nine months later they have a baby and little money, but All You Need Is Love and they tell their new little one You Cannot Lose My Love. Through the years he tells her How Sweet It Is to Be Loved by You. She tells him "I have a Neverending Love for You and I've Always Loved You." In old age they look back at their marriage, their kids and grandkids and they look forward to Heaven, to a Love Without End, Amen.

Love Stinks

For some people Love Stinks. There's one man begging "Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town." There's a woman yelling at her boyfriend, "You Give Love a Bad Name. There's another guy worrying about This Love, the Tainted Love until he finally decides, "I Need a Lover (who won't drive me crazy)." One person begs Love Me Do and another thinks, "I Wonder What Is Keeping My True Love Tonight?" What's Love Got To Do With It? Well, even though Love Is a Battlefield everybody wants Somebody to Love. You say you Can't Help Falling in Love but in the end all you have is an Elephant Love Medley. But hey, at least you can just tell yourself I Love Rock & Roll as you head on down to the Love Shack to mend your broken heart.

The songs, according to my itunes library, are by:

Love Sweet Love - Blues Brothers, tobyMac, The Darkness, Counting Crows, Ghostbusters soundtrack, Mat Kearney, Percy Sledge, Elvis, Regina Spektor, Sinatra, Huey Lewis and the News, Redbone, James Taylor, The Beatles, Sara Groves, Delaney & Bonnie, Third Day, George Straight.

Love Stinks - J Geils Band, Cake, Bon Jovi, Maroon 5, Soft Cell, John Cougar Mellencamp, The Beatles, Kate Rusby, Tina Turner, Pat Benatar, Queen, Elvis, Moulin Rouge! soundtrack, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, B-52's.

Congrats Nick & Mia!

Over the weekend our good friends Nick and Mia got married. It was a fabulous weekend filled with lots of good friends, good food, Marconi bread, Banana Split ice cream, techno music and fun dancing. Travis and I were both honored to stand up with the happy couple. We wish them every blessing possible. Much love the the new Mr. and Mrs!

I'm an easily impressed down-stater

This picture was taken at a bridal shower I went to recently in Chicago's south suburbs. It was fancier than my wedding. There were 60+ women seated at round tables, a huge table for presents (still wasn't big enough) and then the head table where the bridal party sat. It was incredible.

I am very excited about this wedding; Nick and Mia are tying the knot and I am so thrilled for them. But I'm also nervous. The only other suburb wedding I've been to was so extravagant I felt like I was in a bridal magazine photo shoot. This one will be very similar, only this time I'm a bridesmaid. I know Mia will not care one lick, but I just keep thinking about how the bridesmaid dress is not going to fit my 26 week pregnant body that well. With all the money she's going to be spending on pictures I'd really like to look good in them for her! eek. I would at least feel better if they offered maternity versions of their dresses. I had to buy a dress 3 sizes bigger than what I was fitted for, which is a great way to make a woman feel gorgeous.

Gift

I made this box (with help from Crafty Katie) for a friend who is getting married in June. Inside are bunches of letters all grouped together by theme: vocation, motherhood, love, etc. They include quotes from Scripture, a handful of books and my own thoughts, plus some blank ones for her to record her own favorite quotes and memories. She liked it when she opened it, I hope she continues to like it as she reads through them.


I also made her a couple of CDs with songs like "Real Love" by Regina Spektor and "Question" by The Old 97's.

Yesterday my cousin Brad got married. Yay Brad! Congrats to the Newlyweds!

The reception was fun and laid back. Something they did, which I had never seen before and loved, was a table with bowls of various types of popcorn and bags to fill. We all snacked on popcorn and drank beer or soda while we waited for the bride and groom to arrive.

After we had our fill, L then showed up stylish ways to reuse the popcorn bags. :)

Wedding season begins for the Engstrom family a week from Saturday. We then have a wedding in May, June, July and September. As much as I am looking forward to attending these holy days to celebrate the marriages of friends and family, I am not looking forward to trying to look pretty as I get bigger and Bigger and BIGGER. Right now, at 15 weeks, I look as big as when I was 26 weeks pregnant with L. Of course the reason for this is not twins but fat. How lovely. Really, when you're embarrassed about the shape your body is in (in my case very round) it just feels like a joke to put on a dress and make-up.

I know that I have gained very little weight in the pregnancy so far, which is an improvement from last time, I just hope that continues for the next 25 weeks. Here we go.


Oh - and this is not a cheap attempt at compliments, so don't feel like you have to leave one. It's just a bit of a glimpse into my attitude.

Wedding

Okay, if any of you happen to know my younger brother, you might want to check out this website. There's pictures and a really great video from the rehearsal - reception. The video / website was a great collaboration between my sister-in-law and her sister who video taped everything, my older brother who created the website and our friend, Jolene, who took additional footage and created the video.

Highlights:
-the background music is Duncan playing the pre-wedding music, which were songs from Nintendo games, mostly Zelda.
- Karl and the bridal party singing along to Duncan playing Journey's "Don't Stop Believin"
- The Father of the Bride's speech - it's really good.
- Karl singing "I Wanna Grow Old with You."

My brother's wedding

My brother and his bride!

My brother and Matt have been friends since kindergarden. Matt was the first to cry during the vows - which set all the rest of us off!

Miss Jolene Kay flew in from LA to spend time with me, meet L and see Karl get hitched. We haven't seen each other since my wedding 2 years ago and it was wonderful to be in her presence again. She is such a great friend.

L with her uncle and aunt.

The mother - son dance.

L with Uncle Karl during the Dollar Dance.

Highlights of the reception:

- Karl sang "I Wanna Grow Old with You" from The Wedding Singer to Maureen at the reception.

- the entire bridal party "shoop-ed" behind Karl and Maureen during their first dance, which was My Girl.

- Karl lined us all up and had us do the Thriller dance. It was a hoot.

Karl and Maureen, I love you both and I am so happy for you! May God bless you with a lifetime of joyful years.

Quick Thoughts

James Blunt, The Streets (Brit rapper), Blink 182's Enema of the State, Jo Dee Messina, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Some of these were impulse buys. The list goes on and it is definitely time to get rid of some CD's. Some, though, I just can't part with, like my Saves the Day CD. I was a freshman in college and my younger brother and I just loved that album.

Every day L gets a little better at crawling and it's only a matter of time before she is really getting into our DVD collection and all my CD's. We need better storage, and I need to detach myself from albums I never listen to, ex - Puccini.

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Today Travis bought a 42" LG plasma TV with money from his grandparents. It's payment for a bathroom remodeling job he's doing for them. He is in love and I will not have his full attention for quite some time.

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My dad, who is a very picky eater, actually liked my sloppy joes. I was flabbergasted.

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Today I started Christmas shopping and I must say, so far, so good.

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Last night L stayed at my parents' house so Travis and I could get some sleep. Of course, I wasn't able to sleep through the night like I wanted to since my body clock is now used to waking up repeatedly throughout the night. But, L was a great sleeper for my parents - she slept by herself and only woke up once, at 2:30am (she went down for the night at 8:30)!!! She took a bottle "like she was a bottle baby her whole life" and then went back to sleep until 6!!! Mom thinks it's because of how warm she was so tonight we're making sure she is WARM.

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Please pray for us and the youth group that we lead at our church.

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My younger brother gets married this coming weekend to a wonderful woman. We're super excited about it all. Yay, K & M!!!

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My good friend, Jolene, is flying in from Cali for the wedding and is staying with us for the weekend. I am thrilled to see her again and to have her meet L. Jo is one of the best people I know and it is always fun and edifying being around her.

Ramblings on today

Today has been such a good day - all thanks to the one and only, Miss L.

We ran all kinds of errands -exchanging some recent gifts for things that fit better, getting new shoes for Karl and Maureen's November wedding, renewing my license plate sticker, and picking up the family pic proofs. I did have to hold L most of the time, which did make things kinda complicated, but her fussing was to a minimum. Seriously, we were out and about for about 4 hours and she never had a screaming fit - it was GREAT!

Also, the family pics we took were wonderful. If you are in the area, I highly recommend Sarah Hedman. She's a friend from high school and her work is natural, sweet and lovely. Unfortunately for me, though, she cannot make me look 30lbs lighter.

And on that note, my friend LB made the suggestion that they should do a Biggest Loser for moderately fat people. LB, I think we should write to them with this very suggestion and that you and I should be the pink team. What do you say?

Bridal Shower

My baby brother is getting married in November and my sister-in-law and I threw the bride to be a bridal shower.

Her wedding colors are ivory and Bordeaux so we went with a bottles of Bordeaux wine as prizes and a fall theme. We served chocolates, mini pumpkin pies, grapes, cheese, crackers, apples, cake and apple cider punch. It was a lot of fun, except for the gnats who came out and were biting like crazy.

This was a game we played that I called "Karl: The Man, The Myth, The Legend." His answers follow and if you know my brother at all you'll appreciate his humor. Enjoy!

1. What bone did Karl break when he was little and how did he do it? Answer: I broke a bone in the upper extremity of my left arm when I was six years old. I broke it while preparing to make a controlled slide across our gravel driveway on my BMX bike. My arm actually broke before I started the slide, while coming down the hill at top speed when I carelessly fell off my bike.

2. Who are Karl’s top 3 favorite musicians? Answer: This is a hard question even for me. In no particular order: Paul Simon, Counting Crows (or Adam Duritz), and Chris Thile (Nickel Creek)

3. What is a nickname that Karl had as a boy? Answer(s): Chipmunk cheeks, Fondulac Drive, and Doug's favorite - Karla,

4. What musical was Karl the lead in his senior year of High School? Answer: Guys 'n Dolls.

5. If Karl could have a super power what would it be? Answer: Invincibility

6. Which super-hero is Karl’s favorite? Answer: It is a tie between Batman and Superman. I will except both as correct answers.

7. Who does Karl consider himself most like: Frodo, Gandolf, Legolas or Aragorm? Answers: Gandolf the Grey (tall, wise, beard)

8. What book was Karl’s favorite as a boy: The Fat Cat, One Fish Two Fish, Goodnight Moon or The Pokey Little Puppy? Answer: The Fat Cat.

9. Karl is the German form of what name? Answer: Maureen will probably answer that Karl is the German form of Karl, but I think the answer you are looking for is Charlemagne.

10. True or False: Karl is tall. Answer: True, but tall is a relative term. (Karl is 6'4".)

11. Karl graduated from Bradley University with what kind of degree? Answer: Bachelor's of Science in Accounting (which is not a science)

12. When Karl was little, his favorite thing to play with Bonnie was what? Answer: Stand on Bonnie's Butt Time!

13. Which song does Karl identify most with: Dean Martin’s “Little Ole Wine Drinker Me”, Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire”, Nickel Creek’s “Spit on a Stranger” or Paul Simon’s “Me & Julio Down by the Schoolyard”? Answer: All good songs, but I have to say "Me & Julio Down By the School Yard." I'm on my way, I'm taking my time, and I don't know where I'm going.

14. What is Karl’s middle name? Answer: Joseph

15. When is Karl’s birthday? Answer: September 16th, Mexico's Independence day.

16. Which of these places has Karl never been to: San Diego, New York City, Nashville, San Francisco or Dallas? Answer: I've been to all of these places, but spent the least amount of time in Dallas.

17. His Senior year of High School Karl ‘s classmates voted him all of the following EXCEPT: Most Likely to Succeed, Homecoming King, Prom King, Best Personality. Answer: Most likely to succeed - thanks for pointing that out.

18. Where did Karl propose to Maureen? Answer: Jubilee State Park on a bridge in the woods with a mountain unicyclist.

19. Where did Karl take Maureen on their first date? Answer: I don't know - we probably went to Avanti's. Whatever Maureen says is the correct answer.

20. How many years did Karl mow for his Aunt Suzie? 3, 7, 12 or 13 Answer: The correct answer is 13 years, from age 9 to age 22.

21. Instead of cake, what does Karl get from Mom on his birthday? Answer: pumpkin pie