Thirty-Five

Today is my birthday.

Mom + me. 

About two weeks ago my body sent out the memo that this birthday was approaching and automatically sent twenty new grey hairs. I know other women have gone grey gracefully and happily but it was a bit of a hit for me.

For awhile I thought I wanted a big party. Get a cover band, string up twinkly lights, buy a keg. But today was mostly normal. Flowers and cards and a bottle of wine from my husband and kids. Breakfast with my college chaplain. And then lots of errands, chicken nuggets for lunch, made a few phone calls, changed a few dirty diapers. So thirty-five has come with a couple of streamers taped up by L and ended with KFC for supper with my parents.

Nice and simple.

A few years ago I did a list of thirty-one things I wanted to do in my thirty-first year. (You can read the list here, and it's follow-up of how unimpressive I was here.) I wanted to do it again, with four more this year. So here it is:

Thirty-Five Things

1 - Read my Bible every day.

2 - Attend Adoration regularly.

3 - Forgive the slights and insults.

4 - Publish a book.

5 - Potty train my 3 year old.

6 - Eat more fresh veggies.

7 - Go on walks.

8 - Pull the weeds under the pine tree.

9 - Stain the benches that sit outside.

10 - Paint the bedroom.

11 - Transplant the ornamental grass.

12 - Weed the side yard and lay down mulch.

13 - Read more novels (one a month?)

14 - Pay it forward.

15 - Sleep.

16 - Vacuum twice a week for allergy-suffers' sakes.

17 - Stain the playset.

18 - Write more letters.

19 - Bake more bread.

20 - Mop once a week, as opposed to once a month... if.

21 - Attend a conference.

22 - Figure out what's going with my ears reacting to all my earrings.

23 - Have at least five speaking gigs.

24 - Lose the same 45lbs I wanted to lose four years ago.

25 - Make sure Resa knows here letters, numbers, shapes, colors, prayers, address, and how to write her first and last name.

26 - Let the kids bake more.

27 - Help Ben with his reading.

28 - Take L to confession once a month.

29 - Line dry the sheets.

30 - Wash the sheets once a week.

31 - Spend more time with my grandparents.

32 - Organize the pictures and save to discs or whatever.

33 - Help JF with his speech.

34 - Drink more water.

35 - Learn to make caramels.

7QT: The "I got lotsa questions" Edition

1 - Now Sara Groves has been one of my favorite musicians for many years. I've seen her live several times and she's so great. Like you just sit there in the audience feeling like she's invited you over for dinner and any minutes she's gonna bring out the pie and ask if you want it with a scoop of ice cream.

This song is one of my favorites of hers. The bridge of the song is the absolute best. On the album it builds in such a way that when I'm singing along my voice usually breaks from fighting back tears by the time I get to "the man of sorrow" part.

As an aside, the man playing his, um, thighs is her husband.


2 - In an effort to lose some belly weight so people will stop asking me when I am due I decided to give up gluten and greatly reduce sugar from my diet for the month of December. I'm 10lbs down from the post Thanksgiving top already so it's working and I'd like to stick with it for awhile. Unfortunately I have also noticed that after not eating it for a several days and then having a treat (like on St. Nick's feast day) I got a tummy ache, which makes me think I may actually have an intolerance to it and may need to make it a lifestyle change.

This is very bad, sad news in my book mostly because I love to bake. Now I priced gluten free all purpose flour at my local grocery store and for twice the price I could get half the flour I'm used to buying. We're on a pretty tight budget and I can't just start making all our cookies, breads, pancakes, biscuits, and so on out of this pricey stuff. So what do you, people who love to bake but don't eat gluten, do?

Also, we're starting to think that we may need to take gluten out of JF's diet. So any ideas on what to feed a 3 year old boy who is allergic to dairy, nuts, eggs, and possibly gluten?



3 - How do you pick a color for your living room? I think I've been so afraid of committing to anything that I have created a room of browns with some muted gold and navy for accent. But what I really want is color that will pop. I'm thinking of repainting our living room a soft white color and then maybe painting our bookcases, or possibly the insides of the bookcases some bright color that will really pop. But I just don't know.

I like this green for the bookshelves. What do you think? I'm so indecisive. And we don't even have money to buy a bunch of new paint.


4 - FYI - our house hasn't sold, the contingency offer we had on the house we wanted to buy expired, and we've taken our house off the market for the time being. With the tornado going through Washington I'm not sure what will happen with property taxes and the housing market so we may be here for a little while longer.


5 - I need help with make-up. We don't have a lot of money but I'd still like to invest in some nice foundation. I hate feeling like I've got stuff gobbed on my face but at the same time I know I need something to even out my skin and cover up some spots and the occasional blemish. (I was gonna say zit but that sounded too "Saved by the Bell" for some reason.) Also, my skin is on the dry side of normal, if that means anything. Got any recommendations?


6 - Honestly I could probably use some help with skin care in general. I wash my face with bar soap and the only moisturizer I use is hand lotion, if I even do that. All of a sudden my skin is starting to look really old so I'd like to *fight the wrinkles* and all that jazz. An eye cream and a good, but not too greasy/heavy moisturizer for my face and neck would be great.


7 - Finally, what blogs do you read? I'm trying to branch out a little bit from my little bubble of mostly Catholic women blogs and I'd love your suggestions. Thanks!


And as always, many thanks to Jen for hosting!

Seven Quick Takes: Cake, Millenials, Squash, and Faree Pris

1 - My favorite Cake song ever!

2 - I had the super cool opportunity to interview Simcha Fisher about her book The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning for Ignitum Today. You can read it here if you're interested.

3 - I saw a quiz on Facebook yesterday - How Millennial Are You? It turns out that a lot of my friends, even those who are Millennials are more like Gen Xers. I, on the other hand, scored a 12 putting me right over the Silent generation's line into Baby Boomer. If you take the quiz tell me what you get - it's fun. And it's super short!

4 - The quiz reminded me of a time I was at a Theology on Tap a few years ago. The speaker asked for a show of hands of everyone born in 1982 or after. All the Millenials around me raised their hands. Then he asked for a show of hands for everyone born in 1981 or before. I was the only one who raised my hand. I was like 27 years old and suddenly I felt really old.

5 - A local pumpkin farmer donated a huge amount of pumpkins and gourds for our parish's All Saints' party. He also gave me a few for cooking including this grandaddy of a squash.

Here it is with my coffee cup to give you some perspective.

I was surprised at how easy it was to cut up, I was pretty sure I'd be breaking a knife judging by its size. But it was super easy to cut and clean and bake. I pureed it and now I have all kinds of squash ready to be made into soup and baked into pie and....

and I don't know... is there anything else I can do with it? 

Because I got a lot of it.

6 - I dropped the ball on Halloween because I didn't get a picture of the kids in their costumes. What I'm really disappointed by is that I didn't get a picture of them in their soaking wet costumes. Literally, we were dripping wet. 

But L's got my back because she wrote a book at school about Halloween night.

She can spell her name - I don't know why it's messed up here.
It says, "I was a fairy princess."

Action shot of the trick or treating. She left out the pouring rain and the cold wind but it was there in real life.

7 - And on a final note, I would just like to say that I hate selling a house. 

Thanks, Jen, for hosting!

31 Things - an Update, or I Mostly Sat on My Bum

For my 31st birthday I wrote a list of 31 things I'd like to accomplish in the next year. Let's take a look at how well I've been doing.

1 - Lose another 45lbs.
I lost like 5 more pounds and then I got pregnant and that ended that.

2 - Run an 8 minute mile.
Lol - oh my gosh! That is so funny!

3 - Memorize the morning offering and pray it each and every day.
This I did do. I am not always consistent in praying it but it is memorized and I have done it a good 70% of the time since my July birthday.

4 - Read more to my kids.
Yes and no. I had hoped to have a time for reading built into our days but with pregnancy came exhaustion and more naps. However, I have been intentional in not saying "no" when the kids ask me to read to them.

5 - Read more for myself.
This I have done. So yay.

6 - Spend one-on-one time with each of my kids every day, even if it's just 5 minutes.
Nope. Each kid gets one-on-one day one day a week, at least that's more what it feels like. Again, the pregnancy is to blame.

7 - Get down and play on the floor more.
There's been a slight improvement here. When Ben asks me to build him a train track I say 'yes' about 95% of the time, verses 50% before. I also sit and color with L more and stack and build and tickle with JF and Resa. But it's definitely not what I would like it to be.

8 - Mop more often.
Nope. I don't even own a mop.

9 - Go to Adoration.
Yes. Many thanks to the young adult group at a local parish who offers monthly adoration with free babysitting and a potluck following.

10 - Find out the "love language" of the people I care most about and make sure I use it.
Wasn't that a good thought?

11 - Go for more walks.
I was really good about this in the Fall and with the return on good weather and healthy kids I hope to make this a normal part of the day.

12 - Arrange to spend time with my Mom without the kids.
ummmm.... things came up.

13 - Clean out my closet.
Did this. Need to do it again.

14 - Own less stuff.
Ditto above.

15 - Stop worrying about how people perceive me online. 
For the most part, yes, thanks be to God.

16 - Go to a concert.
Not yet. Did I?

17 - Share JF's story with more people.
Yes. Fortunately I've had many opportunities to speak to groups of people and to contribute to other websites, sharing the events of JF's birth and the canonization process for Fulton Sheen.

18 - Find ways to tighten our budget to get rid of debt.
We have done this. Yay!

19 - Look into parochial school for L's kindergarten.
Looked into it... still don't know what we're going to do.

20 - Homeschool pre-school for L doing school three times a week.
I have really failed on this one. I was doing so well for so long but have completely petered out. Fortunately I know that L is already ready for kindergarten but she loves learning and I wish I had more energy to do it.
I need to recommit to this one.

21 - Find more ways to honor Travis.
Yes. I did do this.

22 - Write JF's story.
Working on this - it takes a lot of effort to collect all the information and relive all those events. I want one complete narrative of what happened with JF instead of just the random blog posts I have now. I confess, most times I work on it I sit and cry for at least a little bit.

23 - Eat at McDonalds less.
I think we might be eating at McDonald's more. We really, really, really need to kick this habit.

24 - Spend more time with my grandparents.
Yes and no.

25 - Write more letters to my friends in convents.
Yes. I have done this but I still have a lot of room for improvement.

26 - Try new recipes.
Yes. And it's so fun.

27 - Cook with fresh produce.
I do this best when our garden is producing. During the winter months I usually use frozen veggies and buy fresh fruit.

28 - Buy a quarter of a cow from a local farmer.  (Anyone wanna go in on this with us?)
We did this one and it has made a huge difference for us. We actually got half a cow and we love it. We've never had money for things like roasts and steaks but now we have a bunch in the freezer. It's wonderful.

29 - Pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet more and teach it to my kids.
This one would be a complete failure.

30 - Drink more water every day.
Some days I do well, some days I don't. Usually I don't.

31 - Enjoy having a baby.
This I definitely succeeded in. I have loved having Resa, which is easy with such an easy, sweet baby. When I became pregnant again I was afraid my milk supply would dry up immediately like it did with the other kids but God was good and I am still nursing her at night. Also, I exclusively nursed her for a long time so that she went from breast to table foods like crackers and cooked veggies. Being her sole source of food for so long forced me to sit and enjoy her. Also, I think my other kids have helped me delight in her. L, B, and J adore their sister and she has so much fun with them. Watching them all play together has been a huge blessing.

I admit that I threw a lot of these goals out the window when I learned I was pregnant because I knew I knew I could focus on little more than the bare essentials (feeding and clothing and monitoring the kids and some housework). I also gave myself a new goal with the positive pregnancy test of allowing myself to nap as often as needed. Sometimes the dishes pile up for a couple of days and I definitely don't dust and vacuum as often as I should but napping is good for my growing baby and it improves my mood - which is good for everyone!

NKOTBSB or reflections on manhood after a boy band concert

To help me celebrate my 30th birthday a good friend drove me to Indianapolis for the NKOTBSB concert.  It was a blast.  For the most part the audience was women like myself, between the ages of 25-40, nicely but modestly dressed, there to relive their youth a little bit and sing along to some favorite songs from the past.

My two favorite NKOTB songs are Cover Girl and Tonight.  I loved hearing them live.  The whole night was fun - there was a sense of camaraderie amongst the fans as we cheered for opening act Matthew Morrison, the New Kids, and the Backstreet Boys. 

As a group I enjoyed the New Kids the most.  (Old loyalties die hard.)  My friend, a die hard Nick Carter and BSB fan, with special order "Future Backstreet Boy Fan" shirt pointing to her baby bump, was the perfect companion for the giddy fun.

L-R: Howie, AJ, Joey, Jon, Jordan, Brian, Danny, and Nick

But the best part for me (besides spending lots of really quality time with my friend) was how much I thought of my husband.  The guys would grind and flash their abs and arms.  Dance moves frequently brought attention to their groins, emphasized on the jumbo screens that showed close ups.  Women would scream.  I would not.

You can say it if you want to.  I'm a prude.  I'm okay with that.

I just kept thinking, "This is not manhood.  The anatomy is not what makes a man a real man."  I kept thinking of Travis.  He would never do those kinds of things.  In fact whenever I tell people about that part of the concert he shakes his head in disappointment.  And I understand why he does.

A real man has integrity.  He is hard working and doesn't sell his sexuality to make money.  A real man is honest, kind, steadfast.  He seeks God and invests himself in his wife, children, family and friends.  He serves, forgives, and shares. A real man preserves the dignity and purity of a woman. He does not grind in her face.

Of course I know that these 40 year old men were performing and I am sure that they posses many of the qualities that I listed above.  In fact, I was continually impressed by Brian Littrell, the one band member who did not act macho throughout the concert.  Brian was light-hearted, smiling and waving at the crowds.  When the concert was over, it was Brian who got the biggest cheer from me. 

The pop concert was a lot of fun.  The boy bands were very entertaining.  It was one of the most fun nights of my life!  Really.  I'm incredibly grateful for the gift.

But in the end, it is Travis and the other good men in my life that I am a true fan of.  My children's godfathers, my friends' spouses, my husband's friends, my husband - these are the men who are building up our culture and the Kingdom.  How blessed I am to have a front row seat.

EC Homecoming

This weekend, 4 years after I graduated from college I went to my first Homecoming football game ever at Eureka College. It was GREAT seeing old friends and classmates, a lot of whom I still think of very fondly but haven't seen since graduation. A couple of things were odd - hanging out on the TKE lawn again, but this time I was holding a baby (though everyone else was holding beer); seeing SO many of my former classmates pushing strollers or holding babies; seeing people whose faces I remembered but whose names I could not recall. It was a lot of fun, and I'm very glad I went.

Today, I got out my photo albums from college. Here's two pictures in honor of two of the people I was most excited to see.

This one was taken in my dorm room at my "I'm going to San Francisco for the Summer" party.

This one was taken at the Senior Boat Party. I swear, even though it looks like he's touching me, he never did. Jacob is a perfect gentleman, which you maybe couldn't tell by his red boxers and his hat that reads, "Wisconsin: Land of Cowshit and Beer Farts."