This week I'm keeping them short and sweet.
Thank you, Jen for hosting this weekly party!
1 - One song I would add to Abbey's Lenten playlist is Audrey Assad's I Shall Not Want.
2 - Have you watched the 7 Keys to the New Evangelization by Fr. Robert Barron.
3 - Jenny shared The Gift of Life by Bishop Conley of Nebraska, and I thought it was well worth the read.
4 - Sarah at An Inviting Home doesn't fold her kids' laundry and learning that is an option changed my life forever.
5 - Maybe I'm mean, but I was really happy to have someone talk about megachurch pastors' salaries (and their "Walter White problem" )because people are always pickin' on the Catholics.
6 - Simcha interviewed me for OSV and I told her what I thought of Fulton Sheen the first time I saw him on television. It wasn't very nice but I was an immature college (high school?) student.
7 - Molly discusses why that HuffPo article about taking the holidays down a notch missed the mark.
Showing posts with label pro-life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pro-life. Show all posts
March 20, 2014
April 30, 2013
A really great story from Texas Roadhouse
Audrey wrote, "In short, it was miserable for all of us. The staff, however, was wonderful and did their best to make it work for us. The waiter was SO patient and helpful. He and the manager worked together to get us another table farther away from the busy-ness. He warned us when a group dance was coming and said the music was going to be louder, which gave me a chance to get Henry into the waiting area/vestibule where it was quieter. He removed the cactus at the new table (and the new table was out of visual sight of any animal heads)."
But the good service didn't stop there. Audrey continued, "Then the balloon guy came to the table and distracted Henry by making designs for both kids. That awesome balloon guy and the new table/environmental context bought us about 15-20 minutes - just enough time for momma to eat a bit before having to run off to the car with Henry. The manager gave me his card and wrote three table numbers on the back, saying whenever we come in to just call ahead and tell them we need one of those three tables to make it easier for us to bring Henry."
I do not have a child with autism but even as a mother of four children aged four and under, and one with very severe food allergies, I definitely appreciate a restaurant and its employees doing their best to take care of their customers. Many servers would have been annoyed and unjustly complained about how demanding Audrey and Phil were being. Instead the manager and waiter respected Henry and accommodated his special needs to make the family's evening out really enjoyable.
Audrey finished by saying, "I could have hugged each one of these gentlemen. They were outstanding in every way and went above-and-beyond in their service to our family to help us cope with the situation. I can't say enough about this staff and how hard they worked to help our family tonight. The manager and waiter both said it's not a big deal, that this is what they do - they're here to help people."
I am so grateful to the staff of the Arrowhead Texas Roadhouse for being kind, compassionate, charitable, and generous. Well done!
If you live in the Phoenix area I hope the next time you're hankering for dinner out you will support the Arrowhead Texas Roadhouse in appreciation for how wonderful they were to Henry and the whole family.
April 12, 2013
Gosnell should enrage us all
Everything I've seen and read about Dr. Kermit Gosnell makes me want to turn away and cry. And then it fills me up with piss and vinegar. Don't know what I'm talking about? Let me bring you up to speed.
First, take a look at the Overview from the Grand Jury Report regarding the criminal trial against Dr. Kermit Gosnell. It's important to read because it's not written by people who are pro or anti abortion. It is simply a stating of facts.
This case is about a doctor who killed babies and endangered women. What we mean is that he regularly and illegally delivered live, viable, babies in the third trimester of pregnancy - and then murdered these newborns by severing their spinal cords with scissors. The medical practice by which he carried out this business was a filthy fraud in which he overdosed his patients with dangerous drugs, spread venereal disease among them with infected instruments, perforated their wombs and bowels - and, on at least two occasions, caused their deaths. Over the years, many people came to know that something was going on here. But no one put a stop to it.
Let us say right up front that we realize this case will be used by those on both sides of the abortion debate. We ourselves cover a spectrum of personal beliefs about the morality of abortion. For us as a criminal grand jury, however, the case is not about that controversy; it is about disregard of the law and disdain for the lives and health of mothers and infants. We find common ground in exposing what happened here, and in recommending measures to prevent anything like this from ever happening again.
It's a long document, but you can read the rest here if you wish.
Now, take a quick look at this and take in all the information presented here.
You'll also want to watch this video, though not with kids around.
And if you haven't yet read the following articles I strongly suggest you do.
From USA Today Philadelphia abortion clinic horror
From the Patheos website Washington Post reporter explains her personal Gosnell blockout.
Here's some more articles questioning the silence from mainstream media. As of 1:00pm central time there was nothing from NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times*, The Chicago Tribune and so on.
From The Hill GOP lawmaker blasts Obama , press for ignoring PA abortion trial
From The Atlantic Why Dr. Kermit Gosnell's trial should be a front-page story
From The Daily Beast Why isn't the trial of abortionist Kermit Gosnell on every front page in America?
From Slate Kermit Gosnell: The alleged mass-murderer and the bored media
Again, you may want abortion to be legal in the US. You may even be okay with late term abortions being legal. I wholeheartedly disagree with you but we should be able to agree that all of the following is wrong and deserves at least the same amount of news coverage as Jay Z and Beyonce going to Cuba:
- 2 women dead because of the poor care provided by Gosnell.
- Hundreds of babies who were born alive after an induced labor who were then killed by Gosnell or his staff piercing their necks and snipping their spinal cords. These babies were viable and older than many of the babies one would find in a NICU. That's not abortion - that's murder.
- Gosnell spread venereal diseases amongst his patients by reusing disposable tools and not cleaning them.
- Gosnell's clinic was reported several times over the course of several years and they were never investigated.
- Gosnell's clinic went 17 years without an inspection.
- White patients were treated much better than black patients and women from other minorities.
- Untrained and unlicensed staff were administering drugs illegally and dangerously.
- The bodies and miscellaneous body parts of aborted babies were stashed throughout the clinic, not properly disposed of.
If we really care about women's rights, civil rights, and the dignity of people then we should be raising hell about this. Planned Parenthood should be raising hell about this. The medical community should be raising hell about this. The media should be raising hell about this. But PP is silent and Charlie Rose, Matt Laurer, Diane Sawyer, and Brian Williams are all silent about it.
This is disgusting, horrific, vile, inhumane - and I'm not just talking about everything that Gosnell did. I'm also talking about the fact that outside of the prolife community (who has been tweeting, blogging, and speaking about it for months) people are not talking about this. Because here's the bottom line, folks: Gosnell's clinic in Pennsylvania is not the only place this kind of stuff is happening. You want "safe, legal, and rare"? Then you should be enraged and you should be raising hell.
Two more things: I've seen some pretty harsh statements about Gosnell and his staff. Instead of cheering for their damnation we need to pray that they will repent and seek God's mercy.
Secondly, if you or someone you know works in the abortion industry and you are ready to get out please check out Abby Johnson's organization And Then There Were None. They will help you find new work and even pay bills until a new job is found. They also offer legal support and emotional support. Please, consider this your opportunity!
UPDATE: Salon has a piece saying there is not Gosnell cover-up because when the news first broke in 2011 people covered. it. What the author says is true - I kept Gosnell on my radar because I did hear about it way back in the day. However, as more facts came out and as Gosnell's trial started and continues the media has remained mostly silent. I remember watching OJ being chased by the police. I remember updates on his arrest, time in prison, and the live streaming of Judge Kato's courtroom during OJ's trial. The media did not just report on OJ (or Lindsey Lohan or Parish Hilton or Amanda Knox) when they were first arrested and then said, "There - covered that!" and moved on. NO, they continued to update the population and kept us up-to-date in an almost obnoxious way. I'm not asking for the same coverage as the OJ trial but I think the media should have come back to this story as more information came forward during witness testimony and so forth. So sorry, Irin Carmon, your defense is not good enough.
*UPDATE: I just found an article from March 18,2013 from The New York Times discussing the opening of the Gosnell trial. I am very glad to have found that but as I stated in the above update, the coverage should be ongoing for something like this.
First, take a look at the Overview from the Grand Jury Report regarding the criminal trial against Dr. Kermit Gosnell. It's important to read because it's not written by people who are pro or anti abortion. It is simply a stating of facts.
This case is about a doctor who killed babies and endangered women. What we mean is that he regularly and illegally delivered live, viable, babies in the third trimester of pregnancy - and then murdered these newborns by severing their spinal cords with scissors. The medical practice by which he carried out this business was a filthy fraud in which he overdosed his patients with dangerous drugs, spread venereal disease among them with infected instruments, perforated their wombs and bowels - and, on at least two occasions, caused their deaths. Over the years, many people came to know that something was going on here. But no one put a stop to it.
Let us say right up front that we realize this case will be used by those on both sides of the abortion debate. We ourselves cover a spectrum of personal beliefs about the morality of abortion. For us as a criminal grand jury, however, the case is not about that controversy; it is about disregard of the law and disdain for the lives and health of mothers and infants. We find common ground in exposing what happened here, and in recommending measures to prevent anything like this from ever happening again.
It's a long document, but you can read the rest here if you wish.
Now, take a quick look at this and take in all the information presented here.
You'll also want to watch this video, though not with kids around.
And if you haven't yet read the following articles I strongly suggest you do.
From USA Today Philadelphia abortion clinic horror
From the Patheos website Washington Post reporter explains her personal Gosnell blockout.
Here's some more articles questioning the silence from mainstream media. As of 1:00pm central time there was nothing from NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times*, The Chicago Tribune and so on.
From The Hill GOP lawmaker blasts Obama , press for ignoring PA abortion trial
From The Atlantic Why Dr. Kermit Gosnell's trial should be a front-page story
From The Daily Beast Why isn't the trial of abortionist Kermit Gosnell on every front page in America?
From Slate Kermit Gosnell: The alleged mass-murderer and the bored media
Again, you may want abortion to be legal in the US. You may even be okay with late term abortions being legal. I wholeheartedly disagree with you but we should be able to agree that all of the following is wrong and deserves at least the same amount of news coverage as Jay Z and Beyonce going to Cuba:
- 2 women dead because of the poor care provided by Gosnell.
- Hundreds of babies who were born alive after an induced labor who were then killed by Gosnell or his staff piercing their necks and snipping their spinal cords. These babies were viable and older than many of the babies one would find in a NICU. That's not abortion - that's murder.
- Gosnell spread venereal diseases amongst his patients by reusing disposable tools and not cleaning them.
- Gosnell's clinic was reported several times over the course of several years and they were never investigated.
- Gosnell's clinic went 17 years without an inspection.
- White patients were treated much better than black patients and women from other minorities.
- Untrained and unlicensed staff were administering drugs illegally and dangerously.
- The bodies and miscellaneous body parts of aborted babies were stashed throughout the clinic, not properly disposed of.
If we really care about women's rights, civil rights, and the dignity of people then we should be raising hell about this. Planned Parenthood should be raising hell about this. The medical community should be raising hell about this. The media should be raising hell about this. But PP is silent and Charlie Rose, Matt Laurer, Diane Sawyer, and Brian Williams are all silent about it.
This is disgusting, horrific, vile, inhumane - and I'm not just talking about everything that Gosnell did. I'm also talking about the fact that outside of the prolife community (who has been tweeting, blogging, and speaking about it for months) people are not talking about this. Because here's the bottom line, folks: Gosnell's clinic in Pennsylvania is not the only place this kind of stuff is happening. You want "safe, legal, and rare"? Then you should be enraged and you should be raising hell.
Two more things: I've seen some pretty harsh statements about Gosnell and his staff. Instead of cheering for their damnation we need to pray that they will repent and seek God's mercy.
Secondly, if you or someone you know works in the abortion industry and you are ready to get out please check out Abby Johnson's organization And Then There Were None. They will help you find new work and even pay bills until a new job is found. They also offer legal support and emotional support. Please, consider this your opportunity!
UPDATE: Salon has a piece saying there is not Gosnell cover-up because when the news first broke in 2011 people covered. it. What the author says is true - I kept Gosnell on my radar because I did hear about it way back in the day. However, as more facts came out and as Gosnell's trial started and continues the media has remained mostly silent. I remember watching OJ being chased by the police. I remember updates on his arrest, time in prison, and the live streaming of Judge Kato's courtroom during OJ's trial. The media did not just report on OJ (or Lindsey Lohan or Parish Hilton or Amanda Knox) when they were first arrested and then said, "There - covered that!" and moved on. NO, they continued to update the population and kept us up-to-date in an almost obnoxious way. I'm not asking for the same coverage as the OJ trial but I think the media should have come back to this story as more information came forward during witness testimony and so forth. So sorry, Irin Carmon, your defense is not good enough.
*UPDATE: I just found an article from March 18,2013 from The New York Times discussing the opening of the Gosnell trial. I am very glad to have found that but as I stated in the above update, the coverage should be ongoing for something like this.
January 25, 2013
7 quick takes
Fair warning: The first three are political. If you don't want to read about such things skip to #4.
1 - "We goin' march." Lauryn Hill, this song, this beautiful pro-life song, is what I think of every year when I wish I was marching on D.C. to support life from conception to natural death. When I wish I was marching on D.C. to support an end to abortion.
2 -
Life doesn't begin at birth, or when the heart starts beating, or at implantation. It begins at conception.
3 - Lastly, even if you do support abortion, I hope you are at least outraged at the forced abortions that happen in China. Sadly, I'm not very educated about the matter and I feel like there's little I can do to help women in a communist country. But an article by Sen. Santorum was eye opening for me. Here's an excerpt:
Forced abortion and sterilization are gross violations of a woman’s physical integrity. They’re a form of torture that should outrage anyone who cares about justice for women — but they’re greeted with deafening silence because of the battles over elective abortions in the West. The politics of abortion in the West makes normally outspoken women’s advocates reticent. The U.N. women’s agency prominently displays its work in China against domestic violence, but says nothing of the threat that forced abortion and sterilization pose to the health and well-being of a far larger number of Chinese women.
Read the rest here.
4 - Let's move on to something more uplifting, shall we? One of my husband's former students recently wrote on his Facebook wall, "My physics professor isn't nearly as awesome as you were :( I'll probably come in and bug you for help soon."
This makes me so proud. The student is now studying at a prestigious university but Trav is a better teacher.
5 - Also, I have this super ugly filing cabinet sitting in my living room. Grey and beat up and u-g-l-y, we ain't got no alibi - it's ugly. And so when I saw what Deme did with her filing cabinet I was inspired. I gotta do something similar. Seriously.
6 - Thanks to everyone who voted for The Sheenazing Blogger Awards! There was a HUGE amount of nominations - so many in fact that I had to close the form before it gets totally out of control. I need to have enough time to still parent my children and be present to my husband. There may be a more efficient way to do what I'm doing but I don't know what it is... so this is happening instead. Good thing I'm not totally legit, just some little housewife with a computer and internet access.
I'll work on the Voting Form and inform all nominated bloggers over the weekend. Official voting will begin on Tuesday. Thanks again!
7 - Lastly, I'm wondering if anyone else frequently has to use dictionary.com to check their spelling before posting on Facebook, Twitter, or comboxes? That site is like my internet bff.
1 - "We goin' march." Lauryn Hill, this song, this beautiful pro-life song, is what I think of every year when I wish I was marching on D.C. to support life from conception to natural death. When I wish I was marching on D.C. to support an end to abortion.
2 -
3 - Lastly, even if you do support abortion, I hope you are at least outraged at the forced abortions that happen in China. Sadly, I'm not very educated about the matter and I feel like there's little I can do to help women in a communist country. But an article by Sen. Santorum was eye opening for me. Here's an excerpt:
Forced abortion and sterilization are gross violations of a woman’s physical integrity. They’re a form of torture that should outrage anyone who cares about justice for women — but they’re greeted with deafening silence because of the battles over elective abortions in the West. The politics of abortion in the West makes normally outspoken women’s advocates reticent. The U.N. women’s agency prominently displays its work in China against domestic violence, but says nothing of the threat that forced abortion and sterilization pose to the health and well-being of a far larger number of Chinese women.
Read the rest here.
4 - Let's move on to something more uplifting, shall we? One of my husband's former students recently wrote on his Facebook wall, "My physics professor isn't nearly as awesome as you were :( I'll probably come in and bug you for help soon."
This makes me so proud. The student is now studying at a prestigious university but Trav is a better teacher.
5 - Also, I have this super ugly filing cabinet sitting in my living room. Grey and beat up and u-g-l-y, we ain't got no alibi - it's ugly. And so when I saw what Deme did with her filing cabinet I was inspired. I gotta do something similar. Seriously.
6 - Thanks to everyone who voted for The Sheenazing Blogger Awards! There was a HUGE amount of nominations - so many in fact that I had to close the form before it gets totally out of control. I need to have enough time to still parent my children and be present to my husband. There may be a more efficient way to do what I'm doing but I don't know what it is... so this is happening instead. Good thing I'm not totally legit, just some little housewife with a computer and internet access.
I'll work on the Voting Form and inform all nominated bloggers over the weekend. Official voting will begin on Tuesday. Thanks again!
January 21, 2013
How November Shook Me Up for January
The summer after high school graduation I was in a beauty pageant. (I should probably be much more embarrassed about that than I am.) During the private interview portion of the competition the judges asked me about my desire to be a wife and mom. One of the judges, the father of two young adults, said to me, "But there's so much that's wrong with the world. I would never want to bring another child into this world, to make them suffer through all the horrible things that happen. Don't you feel like you'd only be giving your children pain and sorrow?"
I was taken aback by his question but I earnestly answered him that I wanted to raise the types of kids who would only make the world a better place, that the world- if only their small corner of it- would be better because they were there.
I believed that for a long time but now I'm wavering. More and more I think of that judge and his words and I worry in my heart and my gut that he was right.
I was taken aback by his question but I earnestly answered him that I wanted to raise the types of kids who would only make the world a better place, that the world- if only their small corner of it- would be better because they were there.
I believed that for a long time but now I'm wavering. More and more I think of that judge and his words and I worry in my heart and my gut that he was right.
Since November 4th I've been terribly disheartened. I'm just gonna say it: I am dumbfounded and ashamed at the number of Christians who voted for a man who thinks this is okay. I read a post by Fr. John Hollowell and he said, "a child grasping for breath on the abortionist’s table is granted dignity solely based on the wishes of the mother. The abortionist, and our President, like the emperors in the Colosseum of Rome, wait for the thumb up or down of the mother to decide whether the child lives or dies."
What he said is spot on - our President, when he was a Senator for my home state, voted three times to withhold medical attention to a baby who has survived an abortion. And Christians voted for him to lead our country? Why?! Because his stance on taxes or student loans or education or immigration or free contraception is in line with what they want / believe? How does 3,500 abortions a day in the US not outweigh a tax break? I don't understand. And my heart is heavy and I'm disgusted.
And so I worry that I'm just giving my kids a world of pain and sorrow and I'm not doing anything to make it better. I'm not doing enough for those babies and I'm not doing enough for their parents, the parents who chose Choice, the parents I am not filled with anger or hatred for, just compassion, sadness, and regret because we didn't give them a better choice.
I know that I am not supposed to stay here, in this emotional place; I believe God wants me to feel this sadness because He wants me to do something with it. I know I am not do despair but to work even harder so that me and my kids do make the world a better place. But I'm left with the struggle of finding out how to do it, especially on the eve of the Roe v. Wade anniversary.
And I need to not be bitter about the election. Oi vey, that one is gonna be the harder one of the two, believe you me.
What he said is spot on - our President, when he was a Senator for my home state, voted three times to withhold medical attention to a baby who has survived an abortion. And Christians voted for him to lead our country? Why?! Because his stance on taxes or student loans or education or immigration or free contraception is in line with what they want / believe? How does 3,500 abortions a day in the US not outweigh a tax break? I don't understand. And my heart is heavy and I'm disgusted.
And so I worry that I'm just giving my kids a world of pain and sorrow and I'm not doing anything to make it better. I'm not doing enough for those babies and I'm not doing enough for their parents, the parents who chose Choice, the parents I am not filled with anger or hatred for, just compassion, sadness, and regret because we didn't give them a better choice.
I know that I am not supposed to stay here, in this emotional place; I believe God wants me to feel this sadness because He wants me to do something with it. I know I am not do despair but to work even harder so that me and my kids do make the world a better place. But I'm left with the struggle of finding out how to do it, especially on the eve of the Roe v. Wade anniversary.
And I need to not be bitter about the election. Oi vey, that one is gonna be the harder one of the two, believe you me.
January 11, 2013
Watch this video
I loved and appreciated what our President said in his speech and I wondered why his passion and words only applied to babies who were born and wanted.
I wish we could go to the March for Life. I wish we could join the hundreds of thousands of babies, toddlers, children, teens, young adults, mature adults, priests, nuns, bishops, and laypeople who will be marching for an end to abortion and for the respect due to the dignity to every person - including those who are just little, quickly developing beings traveling down their mothers' fallopian tubes, awaiting implantation.
October 21, 2012
Special Needs Etiquette Part II
For those of you who read Part I of my interview with Teri and Amanda, Part II is now up over at Ignitum Today.
Enjoy!
Special Needs Etiquette Part II
Enjoy!
Special Needs Etiquette Part II
October 17, 2012
People at the grocery store think I have too many kids
This is the third post in my series of reflections on motherhood. The first two are "Making mothering easier" and "Maybe this is why God let me have children".
Our local grocery store has shopping carts that are outfitted with a blue seated section at the back of the cart. They are heavy and slightly hard to maneuver through the produce section but they fit my four kids perfectly. Resa's carrier carseat lays snugly across the front of the cart. JF sits in the traditional basket seat spot. L and Ben perch in the blue seats. That cart is actually a dream come true for me because I'm not sure I'd be able to grocery shop as effectively without it.
However, it is when we are loaded in that cart that I get the most comments.
"You've got your hands full."
"You're reminding me of things that I'm glad are distant memories."
"You have no room for your groceries!"
"You must be busy."
"Are they all yours?"
"Wow."
"You have a lot of kids."
"You are so blessed."
Hardly anyone ever says that last line, though I have occasionally gotten it from kindly women who may actually be angels of the Lord.
When people make comments about my children - how many and how close together in age they are - I always think about what they're really saying even if they are unaware of it: "You have too many children, or in the very least they are too closely spaced."
And then I wonder if they would say that if we didn't have Ben. Take Ben out of the picture and I have a four year old, a two year old, and a baby. Three children - that's an acceptable amount of kids - especially where I live. And spaced every two years - what good planning! Yes, Ben is the one who has got to go, who never should have been, who is too much.
This thought makes my heart incredibly sad. My heart sinks with the thought of not having Ben in the world and I know that the people who make those comments just don't know what a treasure he is. Ben, who taught himself to burp on command before he turned three, is silly and funny. He loves to make people laugh and will make up nonsensical knock-knock jokes in an effort to do so. Ben loves music and even more so he loves to sing. He puts great effort into his renditions of "Old McDonald" and the Thomas and Friends theme. Ben, who has a gentle and kind heart, will often sing to his baby sister in order to soothe her. "Resa is so cute," goes the song he made up for her. He is generous by nature and will gladly share his fruit snacks or popcorn or chocolate bar, smiling to see the recipient so happy to receive.
Ben, who shamelessly rides his sister's Princess bike around the block, loves to dig in the dirt and play with his trains, and potty trained himself, is my little buddy boy. I do not have a favorite child, but there's a special place in my heart for Ben*. I am so glad and grateful for all four of my kids, even Ben - who came unplanned and too soon for some people's taste.
And so, to you commenters in the grocery store, I say:
"You've got your hands full." Yes, I do and it's great.
"You're reminding me of things that I'm glad are distant memories." I'm having fun.
"You have no room for your groceries!" There's plenty of room!
"You must be busy." Aren't we all?
"Are they all yours?" Yes, fortunately!
"Wow." I know! They're so cute!
"You have a lot of kids." I do.
"You are so blessed." I am. Thank you.
*Okay, there's a special place in my heart for all five of my kids. Each has their own special traits that endear me to them and I tuck them into their own little territory in my heart.
Our local grocery store has shopping carts that are outfitted with a blue seated section at the back of the cart. They are heavy and slightly hard to maneuver through the produce section but they fit my four kids perfectly. Resa's carrier carseat lays snugly across the front of the cart. JF sits in the traditional basket seat spot. L and Ben perch in the blue seats. That cart is actually a dream come true for me because I'm not sure I'd be able to grocery shop as effectively without it.
However, it is when we are loaded in that cart that I get the most comments.
"You've got your hands full."
"You're reminding me of things that I'm glad are distant memories."
"You have no room for your groceries!"
"You must be busy."
"Are they all yours?"
"Wow."
"You have a lot of kids."
"You are so blessed."
Hardly anyone ever says that last line, though I have occasionally gotten it from kindly women who may actually be angels of the Lord.
When people make comments about my children - how many and how close together in age they are - I always think about what they're really saying even if they are unaware of it: "You have too many children, or in the very least they are too closely spaced."
And then I wonder if they would say that if we didn't have Ben. Take Ben out of the picture and I have a four year old, a two year old, and a baby. Three children - that's an acceptable amount of kids - especially where I live. And spaced every two years - what good planning! Yes, Ben is the one who has got to go, who never should have been, who is too much.
This thought makes my heart incredibly sad. My heart sinks with the thought of not having Ben in the world and I know that the people who make those comments just don't know what a treasure he is. Ben, who taught himself to burp on command before he turned three, is silly and funny. He loves to make people laugh and will make up nonsensical knock-knock jokes in an effort to do so. Ben loves music and even more so he loves to sing. He puts great effort into his renditions of "Old McDonald" and the Thomas and Friends theme. Ben, who has a gentle and kind heart, will often sing to his baby sister in order to soothe her. "Resa is so cute," goes the song he made up for her. He is generous by nature and will gladly share his fruit snacks or popcorn or chocolate bar, smiling to see the recipient so happy to receive.
Ben, who shamelessly rides his sister's Princess bike around the block, loves to dig in the dirt and play with his trains, and potty trained himself, is my little buddy boy. I do not have a favorite child, but there's a special place in my heart for Ben*. I am so glad and grateful for all four of my kids, even Ben - who came unplanned and too soon for some people's taste.
And so, to you commenters in the grocery store, I say:
"You've got your hands full." Yes, I do and it's great.
"You're reminding me of things that I'm glad are distant memories." I'm having fun.
"You have no room for your groceries!" There's plenty of room!
"You must be busy." Aren't we all?
"Are they all yours?" Yes, fortunately!
"Wow." I know! They're so cute!
"You have a lot of kids." I do.
"You are so blessed." I am. Thank you.
*Okay, there's a special place in my heart for all five of my kids. Each has their own special traits that endear me to them and I tuck them into their own little territory in my heart.
July 11, 2012
a beautiful little adoption post
My friend Margaret and her husband have been on a very long road to being parents and their journey is almost over. They were blessed bring home a cute little baby boy six months ago and all the paperwork is nearly done. When I read her post "the end is nigh" I teared up a little bit. They are wonderful parents and I am so grateful to the birthmother who courageously chose life in so many ways.
Please check out Margaret's post and say a little prayer that all goes well in these last steps of the adoption process.
Please check out Margaret's post and say a little prayer that all goes well in these last steps of the adoption process.
January 23, 2012
Marching, marching, marching
Today a quarter of a million people are in Washington D.C. to March for Life. I hope that when my kids are middle schoolers and older we can make the drive across the country to participate in the March. But I hope even more that by that time abortion will be illegal and a shameful part of our country's history.
Let me say that I understand many of the reasons parents chose abortion.
Parenthood is hard. I had to give up many, many things that I loved in order to be a good and responsible parent. I continue to make those sacrifices every single day.
I understand the fear that comes with finding out you're pregnant. I've held a positive ept and thought, "Oh shit."
I've wondered where the money will come from and I've worried that I'm just not cut out for the job of motherhood.
And I have stared long and hard at a baby with special needs, wondering if his life was going to have any good in it at all. I have thought about the claims that every life has dignity and, looking at a promise of vegetable for a child, I have wondered if it is true.
But despite all that I still know that no matter what I think or feel in a moment there is an absolute truth in this.
All life is valuable.
Every person has dignity.
Every child is a gift.
God is faithful and generous.
August 1, 2011
quality of life
We have been very blessed to stay in contact with several of the doctors and nurses who cared for JF the night he was born and throughout his NICU stay. Yesterday I had the privilege of speaking with one of the nurses who worked on JF the night he was born. She shared her experience of the night with me and her words were quite powerful and left me stammering, looking for words.
She said that once JF was alive again there was a feeling of "what have you done?" because of how badly disabled JF would be. But then she told me, and I'm paraphrasing a little bit, "Quality of life is not to be decided by doctors and nurses. Quality of life is determined by the person with the problems, the people who love him, and God."
I wrote a post about having a son with disabilities when JF was a month old and still in the hospital. I was terrified of what our new normal would look like. I was terrified and angry, and I was still holding out hope that God wasn't done healing my son, eradicating all his special needs. I knew that as a Catholic Christian I should know and believe that quality of life is determined by the person with the problems, his loved ones, and God, but I was pretty sure it would be determined by kids at school, strangers at the store, and my own fears and insecurities.
This issue is something that I had to face for a long moment and then JF continued to improve and the issue wasn't forced any longer. It still resurfaces, though. Take, for instance, a recent viewing of The Village. I was watching it with a group of people and when the mentally disabled Noah died and his mother sobbed I sat in the back of the room crying, too. Not because I was invested in the characters but because they forced the issue again.
The fear, the burden, the unknown, the guilt, the loneliness, the relief, the sorrow, and the grief - they still sit in the back of me. Not dealt with. Hidden most of the time. I know that's not healthy but I am not ready to go through it all again. Not yet. Maybe they will just go away.
I am glad for Absolute Truth. God is good even though our circumstances are not. A person's dignity does not depend upon what he can or cannot do. Quality of life is decided by God, loved ones, and the person who suffers. These things do not change based on how I feel or what I believe and so my only options are to ignore them or embrace them.
Related posts:
the music that got me through
this thing that I fear
special needs
She said that once JF was alive again there was a feeling of "what have you done?" because of how badly disabled JF would be. But then she told me, and I'm paraphrasing a little bit, "Quality of life is not to be decided by doctors and nurses. Quality of life is determined by the person with the problems, the people who love him, and God."
I wrote a post about having a son with disabilities when JF was a month old and still in the hospital. I was terrified of what our new normal would look like. I was terrified and angry, and I was still holding out hope that God wasn't done healing my son, eradicating all his special needs. I knew that as a Catholic Christian I should know and believe that quality of life is determined by the person with the problems, his loved ones, and God, but I was pretty sure it would be determined by kids at school, strangers at the store, and my own fears and insecurities.
This issue is something that I had to face for a long moment and then JF continued to improve and the issue wasn't forced any longer. It still resurfaces, though. Take, for instance, a recent viewing of The Village. I was watching it with a group of people and when the mentally disabled Noah died and his mother sobbed I sat in the back of the room crying, too. Not because I was invested in the characters but because they forced the issue again.
The fear, the burden, the unknown, the guilt, the loneliness, the relief, the sorrow, and the grief - they still sit in the back of me. Not dealt with. Hidden most of the time. I know that's not healthy but I am not ready to go through it all again. Not yet. Maybe they will just go away.
I am glad for Absolute Truth. God is good even though our circumstances are not. A person's dignity does not depend upon what he can or cannot do. Quality of life is decided by God, loved ones, and the person who suffers. These things do not change based on how I feel or what I believe and so my only options are to ignore them or embrace them.
Related posts:
the music that got me through
this thing that I fear
special needs
July 13, 2011
"I think I'll go to Boston..."
I'll be gone for the weekend; enjoy a little Augustana and some really good reads while I'm gone.
First up, Leila at Little Catholic Bubble has a wonderful post by Steve Gershom, a Catholic man who is also gay. A little teaser: When I go to Confession, I sometimes mention the fact that I'm gay, to give the priest some context. ... I've always gotten one of two responses: either compassion, encouragement, and admiration, because the celibate life is difficult and profoundly counter-cultural; or nothing at all, not even a ripple, as if I had confessed eating too much on Thanksgiving.
I also encourage you to check out Steve's blog. It's a really good read.
Also, a little victory dance is happening over here in the Diocese of Peoria. A judge has ruled that DCFS was wrong to end its relationship with Catholic Charities for foster care. You can read a nice little summary article about the good news here.
Looking for someone else to do the cooking? Megan Brent is a personal chef and owner of in good taste in central IL and she's dang good at what she does. A friend gave us a gift card for her business when JF came home from the NICU and, while we have not yet used it - I just kept saving it for something special! - I have had the privilege of eating her fish tacos. Megan is warm, smart, and talented. Her website is here and you can find her on Facebook, too.
Lastly, here's a thoughtful post from CatholicMom about the book Premarital Sex in America by Jeremy Uecker. A teaser from the post: Yesterday’s premarital sex was generally “pre-marital”—sex before marriage between two people who did, in fact, get married to each other. Today’s premarital sex is typically not pre-marital and may occur pre-relationship or with no-relationship. It almost certainly occurs with a succession of partners, well before marriage enters the picture.
A post with a related topic is Fr. Longenecker's "Comments on Cohabitation." It's a list of things priests might like to say to cohabiting couples who come in for marriage prep.
February 18, 2011
7 quick takes
-1-
It seems that the must read book right now is Unplanned by Abby Johnson. Jen's talking about it at Conversion Diary, and so is Nancy with the Catholic Post Book Group. (Nancy has a great interview with Ms. Johnson - check it out!) Do I know anyone who owns this book and will let me borrow it? I'd love to check it out!
-2-
On the Behold Confernece front, we have over 275 women registered for the day! Rose, the director of the conference, and I have agreed that if we get 350 women registered we will dye our hair green and serve lunch to the patrons of the Germantown Hills Michael's on St. Patrick's Day. Rose is a blond and I have loooong hair, so this is going to be worth it.
So get your sisters, daughters, nieces and friends and sign up!
There will be pictures taken, I promise.
-3-
Right now I'm in a Mom's group that's doing the Epic study on Church history. It is so wonderful!
Some of the things I'm learning make my jaw drop open.
Like this: Ignatius, who was the Bishop of Antioch, was discipled by John, the beloved of Jesus. In 115 AD during the persecution of Christians, he was arrested and taken to Rome to be killed. On his way to Rome he wrote a series of letters and in them he talks about the hierarchy of the Church (priests, bishops, pope), the primacy and authority of the pope, the Eucharist, and he refers to the Church as "Catholic". His understanding of these things is the same as modern Catholics.
So either he, a disciple of John, got everything wrong or the Catholic Church truly is the church that Jesus Christ founded.
The more I study Sacred Scripture and history the more I am certain that the Catholic Church is the fullness of the faith.
-4-
Have you ever heard of the following book? Holy Ground: Walking with Jesus as a Former Catholic. This book makes me so frustrated.
The problem? The "former Catholic" was a nominal Catholic (he admits to only attending Mass twice a year by the time he was in high school!) so, sadly, he never knew or understood the teachings of the Church. This is even more evident because, though he quotes the Catechism, he is still getting Catholicism wrong. His book is filled with the same jargon and misunderstandings that I've come to expect, all of it is misleading, misunderstood, and untrue. A nominal Catholic is NOT an authority on Church teaching!
-5-
This is the picture of the first time L came to me, told me she had to go potty, and then went. I was so proud of her and Ben could tell so he gave her a hug.
Side note: how about that bed head?!
-6-
I have tried to post this video on my blog but it won't work. So do yourself a favor and click on the link and listen to this song. It's so good. Thank you, Mumford & Sons Pandora station for continually introducing me to great music.
Noah and the Whale's Shape of My Heart
-7-
Have a great weekend! Thanks for reading!
January 26, 2011
family planning
My friend Alisha has a great post about her feelings on having St. Gerard - patron saint of pregnant women - as her assigned patron saint for the year. (You can have a patron saint assigned to you, too, courtesy Jen at Conversion Diary. Check out the Saint's Name Generator.)
Reading Alisha's post reminded me of this story from my past and a new twist it has now taken.
The first seven months of L's life were very, very tough on me. I wasn't sure if I was cut out for motherhood but I knew I didn't want any more children. I knew that the dislike of my vocation wasn't how things were supposed to be, and I also knew that my wanting to keep God out of my bedroom was not okay. But I also felt like an angry, exhausted failure. So I found my way to confession with my spiritual director, telling him that I didn't feel very pro life. He asked me, "If you found out you were pregnant today, what would you say?"
"Oh shit!" was my answer. (just keepin' it real in the confessional)
Ben was born about eight months later.
I have often joked that when I became pregnant with Ben we were recklessly having sex, but now I see it differently. Totally unintentionally, we were letting God plan our family. At times it seemed irresponsible or overwhelming to have L and Ben so close together because of how hard mothering L had been for me. But now that I see my boys interact I know God wanted JF to have Ben as a big brother. Those two boys love each other and light up when they see each other. Travis and I are confident that Ben will help JF developmentally as much as all the doctors, specialists, therapists and tests.
God was setting the table for JF at Ben's conception, even before the world began.
(Alisha, this is not to say that I think you're supposed to become pregnant! I'll leave that decision up to you, Jude and God.)
PS - I've heard women refer to babies such as Ben as "oh what the hell babies." As in they knew there was a chance they'd get pregnant if they were intimate but they said, "Oh what the hell!" and got busy.
Reading Alisha's post reminded me of this story from my past and a new twist it has now taken.
The first seven months of L's life were very, very tough on me. I wasn't sure if I was cut out for motherhood but I knew I didn't want any more children. I knew that the dislike of my vocation wasn't how things were supposed to be, and I also knew that my wanting to keep God out of my bedroom was not okay. But I also felt like an angry, exhausted failure. So I found my way to confession with my spiritual director, telling him that I didn't feel very pro life. He asked me, "If you found out you were pregnant today, what would you say?"
"Oh shit!" was my answer. (just keepin' it real in the confessional)
Ben was born about eight months later.
I have often joked that when I became pregnant with Ben we were recklessly having sex, but now I see it differently. Totally unintentionally, we were letting God plan our family. At times it seemed irresponsible or overwhelming to have L and Ben so close together because of how hard mothering L had been for me. But now that I see my boys interact I know God wanted JF to have Ben as a big brother. Those two boys love each other and light up when they see each other. Travis and I are confident that Ben will help JF developmentally as much as all the doctors, specialists, therapists and tests.
God was setting the table for JF at Ben's conception, even before the world began.
(Alisha, this is not to say that I think you're supposed to become pregnant! I'll leave that decision up to you, Jude and God.)
PS - I've heard women refer to babies such as Ben as "oh what the hell babies." As in they knew there was a chance they'd get pregnant if they were intimate but they said, "Oh what the hell!" and got busy.
October 29, 2010
7 quick takes
-1-
It seems that Travis and I were both planning a surprise date night for each other. I had asked my mom to keep the kids over night. He had asked his mom to come down and babysit. Oops.
-2-
Our date will consist of Chili's, a movie, and Cold Stone. Dinner and dessert are courtesy of friends who sent us gift cards. The movie tickets are also free. A while ago Trav and his dad went to a movie and something went wrong, so they got two free tickets. My fil gave Travis his ticket and so the two of us went to see a movie. Something went wrong that time, too. So we got two more free tickets. I'm kinda hopeful something goes wrong tonight, too.
-3-
Ben has learned his first sign - "more"!
-4-
JF has a night nurse named Megan. She's so great. She loves my son and has cheered his on since the very beginning. She had him the night he was admitted and she's asked to be his primary ever since. Megan leaves us notes, loves on JF, and even bought him a 3-6 mo sized sleeper so he'd fit in his clothes. How phenomenal is that?
-5-
Another nurse, Sarah, has also been really great with my son. A couple of days ago I asked her about my son and what she thinks his quality of life will be. She fought back tears while she talked about him, how far he's come, the way he interacts with people, how he wants to do the things 6 week old babies want to do. I don't know if she was crying because I seemed so hopeless or because she was so proud, but either way it felt good to see someone believe in my son so much.
-6-
I was able to speak with my good friend, Sr. Mariam Caritas, yesterday. It was wonderful to speak with her, but I wish I had more time to tell her everything. To talk through the fear, grief, guilt, and pendulum swing of despair and hope - she's one of my best friends who also has a whole lotta theology. Especially since she is with the Sisters of Life, I think she would be really good for me right now.
-7-
Yesterday the kids and I went to daily Mass. Ben was a little fussy, and I definitely felt frustrated at times, but I felt like it was a rather successful Mass for the three of us. As we were heading to our car, an old woman approached me and said, "Honey, don't you think you should take your son outside when he cries like that? He was so distracting for everyone! I mean, I know it's hard for you..." By that time I was walking away from her, ready to cry. So she got in her car, with its pro-life bumper sticker, and drove off.
Maybe someone should tell her that babies cry, and that the more babes who are saved from abortion the more babies to ruin her Mass.
October 16, 2010
this thing that I fear
At one of my old jobs I had to spend the afternoon with a teenage mentally handicapped boy. It was exhausting, like got-back-to-my-office-and-cried exhausting. After that day I decided that I had been wrong about parents of special needs kids. I had always thought one had to be "strong enough" to have that kind of kid, but after my day with him I realized one has to become strong because that's what one has to do.
And to be honest, without sounding like some over-the-top, hyperbolizing egomaniac, with that realization came a feeling that I shouldn't be surprised if one day I too would have a special needs kid. Of course we don't yet know how James will turn out. My Little Boy Blue could be a NHS quarterback who is well liked because he's kind, honest, and hard-working. But his bottle feedings are getting worse and worse, and I don't know why. I want to give him every opportunity to prove himself but I also want to just let him rest. I want to push him, to ask him to push himself, but I already feel like I've asked too much. And I know I've said it before, but this limitless list of possible outcomes for my son are overwhelming. Too overwhelming to think about and live my life. To think about them is to break down in tears, and a fat woman crying all day is no good to anyone.
I can and will keep asking for a miraculous full restoration. But in the meantime I also have to be prepared for God wanting James to be who James is, not who I want him to be. And who he is, is someone with brain damage.
Us pro-lifers like to say that every person has dignity, is made in the image and likeness of God, is beautiful. We say that even those who seem to have lesser lives actually have lives filled with beauty, joy, love, and goodness. We talk about the lessons they can teach us. I know that all of this is true.
But where I stand right now, it all sounds like a bunch of bullshit. I don't want my kid to be someone else's lesson. I want my son to be normal. I suspect that in the future I will know much more fully the truth of those pro-life statements. I suspect that they won't be rhetoric, they will be a part of my testimony. But for now, for now, they just smack me in the face and rip out of my hands all the hopes and dreams I have for my son, my family, and myself.
Kind people have told me that I'm strong, but I am not. The truth is that if you were in the same situation as I you would do what I'm doing. You'd do what you have to do to keep the plates spinning, knowing that the only reason any of them are up at all is because you have Help.
God didn't pick me because I was big enough. I think He picked me because I was little enough.
And to be honest, without sounding like some over-the-top, hyperbolizing egomaniac, with that realization came a feeling that I shouldn't be surprised if one day I too would have a special needs kid. Of course we don't yet know how James will turn out. My Little Boy Blue could be a NHS quarterback who is well liked because he's kind, honest, and hard-working. But his bottle feedings are getting worse and worse, and I don't know why. I want to give him every opportunity to prove himself but I also want to just let him rest. I want to push him, to ask him to push himself, but I already feel like I've asked too much. And I know I've said it before, but this limitless list of possible outcomes for my son are overwhelming. Too overwhelming to think about and live my life. To think about them is to break down in tears, and a fat woman crying all day is no good to anyone.
I can and will keep asking for a miraculous full restoration. But in the meantime I also have to be prepared for God wanting James to be who James is, not who I want him to be. And who he is, is someone with brain damage.
Us pro-lifers like to say that every person has dignity, is made in the image and likeness of God, is beautiful. We say that even those who seem to have lesser lives actually have lives filled with beauty, joy, love, and goodness. We talk about the lessons they can teach us. I know that all of this is true.
But where I stand right now, it all sounds like a bunch of bullshit. I don't want my kid to be someone else's lesson. I want my son to be normal. I suspect that in the future I will know much more fully the truth of those pro-life statements. I suspect that they won't be rhetoric, they will be a part of my testimony. But for now, for now, they just smack me in the face and rip out of my hands all the hopes and dreams I have for my son, my family, and myself.
Kind people have told me that I'm strong, but I am not. The truth is that if you were in the same situation as I you would do what I'm doing. You'd do what you have to do to keep the plates spinning, knowing that the only reason any of them are up at all is because you have Help.
God didn't pick me because I was big enough. I think He picked me because I was little enough.
May 25, 2010
Today at a women's group a middle aged woman I had just met asked about my children.
L's 2, Ben's almost 9 months, and I'm 24 weeks pregnant. I'm getting used to these questions and now know that what people really want to know is how close in age the 3 will be.
"You're going to have Irish triplets," she informed me.
I am not because none of them were / will be born within 12 months of each other.
A little bit later she asked, "So are you done?" But it didn't sound like a question.
"No! I'd love to have more."
"How many more?"
"I'll gladly take as many as God will give me."
"What does your husband do?"
"He's a teacher."
She didn't respond to me after that.
I'm not sure how to interpret that conversation. Either she disapproves of my family and the choices Travis and I are making, or she was never able to have kids and something about me made her sad. I'm not quite sure which one is correct, but there was little enthusiasm in her tone, body language and following silence.
I suppose that wherever her heart is, my response is to pray.
May 12, 2010
The cross of being super fertile
You have to read this post by DoctorGianna at her blog, The Children I Cannot Hold. She compares people who are infertile with people who are "super-fertile", as she calls them.
I was very moved by what she wrote, and was going to leave a long comment. Instead I'll just blog my thoughts here. :)
Trav and I have 4 kids, our first was lost to miscarriage, a 2 yr old, an 8 mo old, and I'm 6 mo preggo.
My husband and I DO practice NFP, just maybe not very "well". (har har) We were able to use it successfully to achieve our first two pregnancies, and to not achieve pregnancy for awhile after the miscarriage.
After our firstborn I was too tired to chart and conceived our 8 mo old while we were "recklessly having sex", as I jokingly say. The baby I'm carrying now was conceived P-6. (For those not up on their NFP jargon, that's 6 days before peak day, which is the most likely day of ovulation. It is technically within the realm of fertile days, but usually sperm only lives 2-3 days in a fertile woman.)
We feel like God is blessing us abundantly, but I also feel very strongly that this is MY path to sanctification. There are a lot of crosses to be carried every day, including the cross of knowing that other women would trade everything to be in my place. When L whines while Ben fusses, or when the naps just don't seem to want to happen, or the poopy diaper leaks all over the entire outfit I just put on the freshly bathed child I sometimeswant to roar curses. Afterwards I apologize to God and the kids, and I remind myself that I need God's mercy, and these crosses have been given to me by God, handpicked by Him especially for me. I need to try to do my best with them.
Of course there is a difference in the crosses borne by those who are infertile and those who are super-fertile, but we all should be mindful that God opens and closes the womb as He sees fit. I have experienced infertility through the loss of Peter; I am currently in a "super-fertile" stage. Yet I am very aware that while we may have more children, we may not. Kaitlin at More Like Mary - More Like Me said it beautifully when she wrote that children are ONLY gifts and they are ALWAYS gifts.
Oh Mother Mary, St. Elizabeth and St. Hannah - pray for us!
I was very moved by what she wrote, and was going to leave a long comment. Instead I'll just blog my thoughts here. :)
Trav and I have 4 kids, our first was lost to miscarriage, a 2 yr old, an 8 mo old, and I'm 6 mo preggo.
My husband and I DO practice NFP, just maybe not very "well". (har har) We were able to use it successfully to achieve our first two pregnancies, and to not achieve pregnancy for awhile after the miscarriage.
After our firstborn I was too tired to chart and conceived our 8 mo old while we were "recklessly having sex", as I jokingly say. The baby I'm carrying now was conceived P-6. (For those not up on their NFP jargon, that's 6 days before peak day, which is the most likely day of ovulation. It is technically within the realm of fertile days, but usually sperm only lives 2-3 days in a fertile woman.)
We feel like God is blessing us abundantly, but I also feel very strongly that this is MY path to sanctification. There are a lot of crosses to be carried every day, including the cross of knowing that other women would trade everything to be in my place. When L whines while Ben fusses, or when the naps just don't seem to want to happen, or the poopy diaper leaks all over the entire outfit I just put on the freshly bathed child I sometimes
At the risk of being redundant, I want to be perfectly clear: my children are enormous blessings. It is the craziness, physical pain, exhaustion, frustrations, etc. that come with them that are the crosses.
Oh Mother Mary, St. Elizabeth and St. Hannah - pray for us!
May 9, 2010
an old priest's comment on the pill
We had a visiting priest celebrating Mass for our parish this weekend. I was unable to go due to a sick toddler but Travis told me about the homily, which was on contraception.
The priest was ordained in 1963, around the time the pill was first released. He observed that as the pill became more widespread parents began having 2 children, CCD classes shrunk and, people stopped coming to confession.
Isn't that interesting?! Of course you can't ask forgivenss for a sin you don't intend to stop committing. But instead of stopping the sin, or seeking out a clear understanding on the Church's teachings on sex, the moment life begins, and contraception along with understanding the science and politics behind the pill, people just stopped receiving God's mercy and following His plan. Wow.
The priest was ordained in 1963, around the time the pill was first released. He observed that as the pill became more widespread parents began having 2 children, CCD classes shrunk and, people stopped coming to confession.
Isn't that interesting?! Of course you can't ask forgivenss for a sin you don't intend to stop committing. But instead of stopping the sin, or seeking out a clear understanding on the Church's teachings on sex, the moment life begins, and contraception along with understanding the science and politics behind the pill, people just stopped receiving God's mercy and following His plan. Wow.
May 7, 2010
7 Quick Takes Friday - the Mother's Day edition
I've been sick this week and she' taken care of the kids single-handily, straightened up the house, cleaned up the physical evidence of my sickness (tmi?) and brought me water, fruit pops and toast.
The woman doesn't complain. She doesn't accept apologies for the messiness of my life that she's cleaning up. She never seems to run out of patience or compassion.
She just gives and gives, joyfully and wholeheartedly.
-2-
Last week I was driving, thinking about all the books I'd like to read. I was fantasizing about having the time to sit on my sofa in the middle of the afternoon and pick up a book. I was daydreaming about uninterrupted reading - how glorious! Once again I could get through a book in a week - or less! I could devour one after another, a memoir, a novel, a collection of essays, American lit, poetry, theology...You see, I don't have much time to read, especially anything too deep. There isn't the time or energy budgeted in my days for such things as novels.
And then I had this very comforting thought: right now I do not have time for such things, and that is okay. In another season of my life, when my kids are older and I have some grey hair, then I will be able to read again. This thought was much more like a promise from God, an acknowledgement of my longing with a glimpse of what is waiting ahead. Knowing this makes it much easier to not read now, as I focus on my kids, husband, home, and friends.
-3-
A woman I barely know offered to help me clean my home for L's birthday party. She is from Northern Ireland and is living in the US until her visa expires in July. She has been able to travel much of Europe and America in her 26 years. While I listened to her talk I felt the pang of remorse that I never studied abroad while in college. I also felt the itch to travel. And then we talked about my life as a stay at home mom. I warned her to devour information now, because it seems that with every child a woman pushes out of her body she loses a portion of her knowledge, memory and ability to assemble intelligent, thorough sentences. (Ya gotta stock pile those things now so you come out even in the end, I figure.)
She talked about her desire for kids, a lot of kids, and to live the life I was living. She thought the grass was greener on my side of the fence. And in my heart I agreed.
-4-
But I was sure not to take it personally, because I have said the exact same thing, with the exact same intentions, to mothers of twins. And so, to the mothers of twins that I know and have made this comment to, I would like to apologize. Your children are beautiful, wonderful and lovable. I consider you blessed, and I praise God for the gifts you've been given.
-5-
A few weeks ago I was feeding Ben some baby food pears, making silly faces so he'd open his mouth and allow me to put the spoon in. L stood by our side singing the Alphabet Song. In the midst of the simplicity and silliness I had a deep sense of knowing that there was no where else I'd rather be and nothing else I'd rather be doing. It was like getting a blue ribbon from God.
-6-
As I have already mentioned, I've been sick this week and I've had to rely on friends, along with my mom and husband, to help take care of the kids. Even though they are not moms, they mothered me and my kids at times when things were pretty messy. There was Liz, who walked into our house as I was "spitting up" (as L calls it) and came to see if I needed my hair held. She then cared for my kids for the next several hours while I napped. And there was Katie, who changed a poopy, leaky diaper; rocked a fussy baby to sleep; and was fortunate enough to stick around for my daughter to "spit up" into her bag of books, all over my clothes, her clothes, and on the floor. Katie salvaged the books, put our clothes in the washing machine, and bathed my daughter. God bless you both!!!!
-7-
To any women who struggle with infertility and may read my blog: I want you to know that I think of and pray for you every day. I pray for your health, your doctors, your wombs, your adoptions, your families, your hearts, your wounds, your sufferings, and your joys. I want you to know that I honor you this Mother's Day - you are not forgotten!
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